Running Out of Merch?
Coworkers Create Clever Way To Decide on Where They Should Go To Lunch

Nasty Ass Thieves: Idiot Robber A/K/A what not to do in a robbery situation



From triphosphate77, Tales From Retail:

I work in a vapor store. I was closing solo on Sunday night, it was about 10 minutes till closing time and I was performing my closing duties when a man came in and stood by the counter, I asked him "Hi there, how can I help you?" and the man pretended he was interested in purchasing a vaporizer for a minute before he told me "I have a gun, give me everything in the register."

Adrenaline kicked in, and instead of simply surrendering the money I decided to call his bluff and I said "I don't believe you have a gun, and unless I see a gun I'm not opening this register" I assume the man didn't have a gun, because next thing I know he sucker punched me in the temple. It didn't hurt that much, and I was in shock. I hit the speaker button on the phone next to me and quickly dialed 911. At this point the man shoved everything off the POS station, including my personal cell phone, and ripped the land line out of the wall. Then he took a hard swing and planted a punch squarely on my nose, knocking me down to the ground and he started trying to pull my wallet out of my back pocket. (Spoiler alert: the wallet was empty) The man postured up while over me like he was going to start swinging again, so I told him "stop, fine, take the money!"

I reached over and opened the drawer (not the register, a regular counter drawer) and pulled the register key out and threw it at him, he opened the register, took approximately 300 in cash and bolted out the door.

If the man had been paying attention as I opened up the counter drawer, he would have noticed that the entire week's worth of deposits were sitting there in plain view, probably a couple thousand dollars of deposits. If he was paying more attention he might have also noticed that there were 5 cameras and that the entire store was glass and acrylic. Needless to say the police got crystal clear footage, and perfect prints from several locations. I picked him out of a lineup today. I may have a broken nose, but the man will probably be spending a few years in a cell now.

Either way, I don't think I'll ever be calling someones bluff about a gun ever again.







McHell Manager

I don't know about smaller shops, but I was always taught that if a robber approaches, GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT! Money is usually insured (up to a certain amount, and again, not sure on the smaller shops). The company/owners can get back that money. I am not risking my life or anyone else's just for money.


Back when I worked at a convenience store, my personal policy was as long as they're on the other side of the counter, they can have whatever they want and I'll ask if they want a bag to put it in. If they come around the counter, they're after my ass and I'm going out with someone's eyeballs dripping off my rings. (Someone once asked me why I wore 8 rings, one on my right hand being a skull wearing a spiked helmet that was about half an inch thick above my finger. "Brass knuckles are illegal.")

Fortunately, being 6'3 and 300 pounds, I never had a problem... The way the counter was laid out, there was a not obvious six inch rise behind it, and even with the overhead cigarette rack cranked all the way up, I still had to lean down to see under it, so I looked like Andre the Giant's little brother. Someone in a long coat came in one night, I said hi (Always let them know you're aware of them), and he stopped dead, looked at me, went and got a candy bar and left.

About six hours later in the morning when the morning girl came in, he came back and robbed the place.


Dangit... need an edit button. Meant to add after the first paragraph, "It's not worth my even minor inconvenience for 3.85 an hour with no insurance." (This was a while ago, that was minimum wage then.)

The comments to this entry are closed.