The Setting: Retail Giant on “Truck Day.” The aisles each contain one cart filled to the brim with boxes of product. The aisles are wide enough that two carts can easily fit abreast. It is the cosmetics and skin care section; plastic tubes and plastic bottles line the shelves.
The carts are all parked at the ends of the aisles and shoved up against endcaps specifically to stay out of the way. Again, these aisles are WIDE.
The Cast: M=Me, FG=Fearful Guest.
Me: (monotonously emptying boxes)
FG comes around the corner pushing a cart loaded with washing liquid and Easter supplies. She looks pained. She opines:
FG: “This is the...I don’t know, third? Lane? Where there’s a buggy. There’s buggies in every lane!”
M: “Yes ma’am, today is a delivery day, we’ve got lots of product to unpack!”
FG: (huffs, shaking her head) “Well I keep having to turn my buggy to the SIDE to get down the lanes! I’m afraid I’m going to break something!”
M: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. We’re all trying to unpack everything as fast as we can.” I move my cart a millimeter closer to the shelves, glancing at the plastic tubes of lotion and face creams. The fuck does she think she’s going to break? A sweat?
FG: “Well y’all should do the ‘unpacking’ when the store is closed. So customerscan get around and BUY things.” (jerks her buggy around my cart with unnecessary force.)
M: Imagines having to come in after 11pm and work a full shift unpacking boxes.
FG: Wanders down the aisle saying something about how the store “Must not want people to buy anything!”
M: Continues emptying the current buggy until it contains all the fucks I give.