From  munchkickin, Tales From Retail:

I had a customer the other day that just left both the owner and I speechless for awhile.

I'll be me, my boss will be B and she will be SL for snobby lady.

She comes in with a snotty look to her face and looks at us.

SL: Why aren't your pumps giving me gas????

Boss and I look at the computer and both say, "it says it is pumping"

SL: uhh...nooooo it isn't.

My boss goes out to help while I help other customers. He comes back in getting a towel wet.

B: have you had issues with the pumps today?

Me: no, not at all, what's up?

B: she says he tank is empty, the gas pump.keeps moving slow and popping off and then it flowed out. She's currently out there freaking out about gas being on her nice SUV and now the ground, saying everything is going to blow up. I'm going to go clean up her vehicle.

Me: if her vehicle's kicking gas back, that sounds like an issue with it. Mine did that and my fuel pump was bad, her keys could also be turned over and a lot of new cars will make pumping almost impossible if the cars in any form of on mode, you may want to check.

He goes back out there and comes back in with the most irritated look I've seen in almost 2 years, and I've seen him irritated before.

Me: what's wrong?

B: that moron had a full tank already! She was losing her mind over something being wrong with our tanks and claiming a little gas was going to blow her SUV up and she already had a full tank, she swore up and down it was empty before she got here!

I couldn't help but start laughing. Later I asked him if I parked at that pump, if my tank would magically become full again. He just started shaking his head and laughing as he walked away.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to drive.

-- munchkickin