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Religious Freaks: Do YOU Know Jesús?

 

Carolanne heft crossFrom stoicme, TalesFromRetail

I'm at work the other day, when I see a lady looking at the video game cases. Being the good little employee I am I walked over and asked if she needs any help.

Please read all of her parts in a stereotypical southern accent, to get the full effect

"Do you guys have any Christian video games for the Wii?"

Woo... I was pretty sure I knew where this was going, But I was at work, so I had to be nice, so I politely told her that we don't have any christian games.

"Oh, well how about some Christian karaoke games for the Wii?"

What? I just told you we don't have any Christian video games. Specifying isn't going to magically make some appear. Again, I told her we didn't have any.

"Well that's too bad. I played that Glee karaoke game, and it was really fun, but I just hate how they force their anti-christian values on people. You know... like with that one boy."

So, at this point, she hadn't said it outright, but it was pretty obvious she was homophobic, and being a gay man myself, I tend to be unwilling to deal with those customers. Right about now is when I tell customers I can't help them anymore, but I'll happily get another associate to help them, but before I could, this lady spoke again.

"Have you heard about Jesus?"

Whelp, my day just got more fun. I look at her and reply

"Yeah, of course I have, he cleans the floors in the morning. Nice guy." (Just a note, one of our cleaning guys IS named Jesús, and a few of my coworkers have mistakenly read his name as Jesus.)

"NO NO NO!" the woman exclaimed "I'm not talking about 'hey-zoos', I'm talking about JEEEEEZ-US! Our Lord and Savior!"

"Oh... well I'm not sure who you're talking about then..." I replied with a completely straight face. "I don't know any Lords or any other kind of royalty."

"Oh hun!" the woman exclaimed "You've never heard of the man who died so you may live?!?"

"Guess not..."

"Well I can teach you! Right here, right now! How would you like to learn about JEEEEZ-US Christ?"

"Well I kind of have work to do... but I'll... uh... Google the guy... was that J-E-E-Z-U-S?"

At this point, the woman adopts the most shocked and confused look I have ever seen. She corrects me on the spelling, and wishes me a merry CHRIST-mas (with special emphasis on the "Christ") and heads out of my department.

--stoicme

 

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