From big80smullet, Barista

I have two who tie for worst. They both came in multiple times.

The first is a family. A mother and daughter and the daughters poor beleaguered boyfriend. They all order lattes. I make three lattes.

The mother says hers is too weak. The daughter says hers is too cold. Neither of them have actually tried the drinks yet. Not even a sip.

I go back. Make the exact same drinks to exactly the same temperature (because fuck them those latte's were perfect). Set them down and they were fine with it. This happens a couple times a week for a few months.

A few times I actually just took the latte's back and gave them the exact same drinks. They just get off on sending drinks back. I can't be too mad though, the mother owns a hotdog stand. Her life is being in a 3x2 box for 9 hours a day making hot dogs.

I have thought about buying one and sending it back though.

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The second customer is a woman who came in about 10 times over a week, until I got sick of her and she stopped coming in.

She asked for a decaf latte, extra hot and with a very creamy head.

Alright whatever. I make her one, but the head isn't creamy enough and it's separated from the liquid (like it's fucking supposed to wtf???) I make her another one. This one isn't hot enough. It was only about a half a degree off burned, how hot does she fucking want it? Hot enough so she can't taste that it's decaf anymore I guess.

So I make her another one. I burn the shit out of this thing. Milk is fully boiled and it's just terrible. She loves it. Comes in again and does the same thing ever time.

Every single time some unknowable criteria is violated. It smells funny, there's too much coffee taste etc etc. After about 5 days of this she comes in again. Orders her usual latte bullshit, so I make it.

She complains about how the head isn't creamy enough. She starts spooning it out and asks me, "See what I mean?"

I snap and say. "No I don't," and walk off.

Sick of her shit. I get the feeling she burns her bridges at different cafes and has to move onto somewhere that isn't sick of her shit. I refuse to deal with either of those people again. Life's too short to peddle my delicious brown caffeinated beverages to fuckheads.

--big80smullet