Sidewalk Signage: Oddly Accurate
Font Fails: Poor Curt

Retail Hell Memories: A lifetime subscription to madness


Jason 029

From WhySoWrong, Tales From Retail:

Years ago at "Save Money, Shop Elsewhere," HD tvs were the new and fancy toy.

Sales usually go something like this.

  1. Customer comes in and picks tv.

  2. Employee grabs tv from back, points out massive reminder stickers asking if they've called and gotten the better cable/satellite box free upgrade since the standard free box looked halfway to unwatchable especially with the discount cables people hooked them up with.

  3. Customer gets grouchy about multi thousand dollar equipment wanting something other than the free box they got a decade ago.

  4. Customer either buys now to call later or calls now to buy later.

  5. Lather Rinse Repeat

One day, quite unexpectedly, a customer looking at one of the biggest sets (almost 50" of plasma!) asks what kind of hookups this set is going to need.

Turns out he's got a house going up and the contractor is going to wall mount a flat panel and hide the cables from view.

I show him the hdmi, dvi, and optical auto cables and recommended putting a couple of each video cable so he'd have hookups available for future devices.

Cust: Oh, my system doesn't have those hookups.

Me: You'll have to call and order the updated receiver. It's usually a free upgrade and as they switch the channels over you'll get the improved picture.

Cust: No, I can't change the receiver. It's a lifetime system.

me looking confused and wondering if he's pirating his signal or something, must have shown on my face

Cust: Its a giant rotating dish from 1980, c-band! system.

Me: fighting of flashbacks of Johnny Quest and Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Telstar 1-4, Gemini network That's... Uh... Not going to work. I mean, it'll show a picture but...

Cust: Well I paid mid 4 digit amount in the 80's! for a lifetime unit and I need it to work.

Me: Well you can plug it in with a plain coax cable. It'll look absolutely terrible but it'll work for now. I'm honestly not sure if it'll be working after they start switching stations over. I don't think the old satellites are being used with HD. and Yeah, they shut tons of things down

Yes, that customer left without buying anything.







For years I had a 15' BUD (big ugly dish) in my backyard, no unhappy flashbacks at all. My kids grew up on Space Ghost CtoC, Sealab 2021, Home Movies, etc. And being Canadian we got to watch all these American shows months before they showed up (if ever) on Canadian channels.


And I must mention my all time fav: Harvey Birdman Attorney At Law.

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