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Meanwhile at the Thrift Store: When Your Other Half Spends 6 Hours In The Store

Thrift Store Hell: "So What Will Your Thrift Store Give Me for This?"

 

RHSEPT 544From Puppies In Prada

Yet another donation door story! It's Thursday; the day before No Nonsense Steve goes out to people's houses to pick up furniture. This means that we aren't taking furniture donations.... we're going to be massively full tomorrow anyway.

A lady drives up to the donation door with her truck, hauling a trailer with a piece of furniture (a credenza maybe).

She has driven past our sandwich board declaring that we can't take furniture, and has walked up to the door, with a sign that says we can't take furniture and rung the doorbell. Then she stood in front of the door for the few seconds it took me to get to the door from the sorting table I had been working at.

I get to the door, take a deep breath to politely decline her thing, and she cuts me off before I can get a word out.

Woman: "So what will you give me for this?"

Excuse me? I don't follow. I do not comprehend this collection of words, and I talk words gooder, thank you very much!

Me: "Uh...."

Woman: "You are a retail establishment, correct?"

Me: "We are a non-profit thrift store ma'am, and we take donations, which we then sell, yes. The money goes to the local animal shelter."

Woman: "Yeah, yeah. So how much will you give me for this?"

Ah. The old Not-Listening routine eh? Well I know how to handle that.

I give it a cursory glance, "Nothing."

Cue sound of a record scratching.

Woman: "Excuse me?"

I shrug at her: "For one thing, we do not buy anything from our donators, ma'am. People DONATE their things. You know," I add, as she looks entirely blank, "they give them to us for free."

Dooooooough-naaaaaayte? Doh-nayte? Do-no-ate? What means dis word? I no can has comprehention of strange mouth sounds coming from dis alien bean.

Me: (realizing that she is no longer 'poetry in motion' but rather 'gibberish in neutral,' I try to continue to another point) "For another, we're not accepting any furniture right now ma'am. So we can't give you money for it, and we can't even take it for free right now."

Carolanne 040aWoman: (slowly, like the speed of the words are the problem, not the content) "I don't think you understood what I'm asking. I'm asking you how much money would you give me for this?"

Me: "I cannot give you ANY money ma'am. We cannot take furniture right now. We NEVER buy things the way a pawn shop does, and we do not sell items for consignment."

Woman: "What. Will. YOU!!! Give. Me. For This."

Okay, what the ever loving fuck? Is she using the plural you or the individual you? Okay, pretending like she's asking me specifically....

Me: "Nothing. I don't want a credenza, thanks. Neither does the store. Here's a list of other businesses in the area. Try them."

The woman finally shifts into gear with the smell of a burning clutch.

Woman: "I... well... you... FINE!" She jumps into her car and drives off.

There's a pawn shop about a mile down the road. I've been there. It does not have a drive thru. Does any pawn shop have one?

--Puppies In Prada

 

Comments

TechTyger

" no longer 'poetry in motion' but rather 'gibberish in neutral,'"

(giggles and falls over) I love that!

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