It’s a Sunday, with the normal Sunday rush. We were a small store, so there was only me serving with 1 other employee doing stock and other general duties. This is important, because for the majority of the day I’m always up serving customers - this will be important later.
It’s about midday, and there’s a line of about 3 or 4 people waiting to be served. This guy walks in, and immediately walks up to the counter pushing in front of the customer I was already serving. He looks around 30, and kinda wobbled his way in. He looks me in the eyes and mumbles some words that I can’t understand. After asking him to repeat it a couple times, I manage to figure out he’s saying “can you give me my bag back”.
At this point, I’m not only freaked out by his mumbles and wobbly willy’s, but also the fact I’d never seen this guy come into the store. I try to get a little more info out of him, so I ask him “when did you leave your bag here?”. He mumbles, I ask him to repeat himself more times, he said “about an hour ago”. Yeah. Nah. You haven’t been here bud. “Sorry sir, but we don’t have your bag.”
Mumbles ensue, this time I didn’t ask him to repeat it because he just kept mumbling telling me his life story. What I gathered from it was something like this:
“I got my bag from you an hour ago, just joking. I woke up on the floor at home with my wallet next to me, and my drivers license and credit card was gone. My bag had my wallet in it, so I gone my wallet out of my bag and it was gone. Hahahahahaha I woke up on the floor in my pants, and my bag was gone. Hahaha”
What the actual... ok then bud. Then he walked out of the store onto the sidewalk by the street. Took his shirt off. Then proceeded to sit in the fetal position in the middle of this sidewalk by a main street. He sits there for about 15 minutes, rocking back and forth, lying down on his back, then back to the fetal position again.
Something is seriously wrong with this dude - I tell the boss. Boss is like “he’s not in the store anymore, idc”. What a savage. Someone outside must’ve ended up pretty concerned tho, cus the police ended up turning up. When the guy saw the cops, he gets up, bolts in the store and yells in his mumblephone “hide me pls, the police will take me”.
“Um. No.” Gtfo bro, you’re making me lose sales. He runs out to the back dock anyway, where the boss and other employee intercept him and push him back into the store area. He’s screaming “no they’ll take me!” and flailing his arms around. Copper comes in, grabs him and drags him out of the store. As the cop is dragging him out, the guy is yelling “nooo let me stay, I like it here. I like you guys”. Cop put him in his car and drove off. What a lunatic. Never saw the guy again.
Legend has it, he’s still trying to find his bag to this day.