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Retail Hell Memories: A Dank Trade

 

OCTOCAROL 115

From GhostBoo-ty, Tales From Retail:

I've finally decided to share my stories from The Furniture Department , and I'll start with a short one that is most fresh in my mind.

So for background I work furniture and often closing shift, which means our staff is limited to two cashiers (one register, one floor), myself, and the closing manager. More often than not the closing associates don't do anything but sit up there and/or love to take their breaks during the last hour of being open leaving me to backup since the manager is counting the tils in the cash office. We close at 9, for reference. I also ride a bus so I like leaving when I'm scheduled so I can get home at a decent hour.

With that out of the way, it was shaping up to be a normal night, nothing too spectacular even with the idiot squad up front. So I took this time to go clean and organize the break room, since nobody had done so in a year or more. I'm about done washing the microwave stand at 8:55 when I get a call on the talkie that I have a customer in furniture. Joy.

I quickly walk up to the furniture department so I can hurry this along and finish cleaning so I can clock out and head home and notice the dude over near the end of the mattress row, so I approach and give the ol associate spiel. M is me, and DM is Dank Man.

M: "Hello! My name is M, is there anything I can help you with today?

DM: "Yea man, I'm just moving and I need a mattress TODAY my man, and I really like this one, y'know? How much is it?"

M: "Well, its usually $Xhundred for the mattress and box, but right now its on sale for $hundred off! (A pretty decent deal, actually)"

DM: "Damn, that's nice, but can you go any lower? Any coupons or can you take anything off? "

M: "Unfortunately, no, but its already on sale for a damn decent price"

DM: "Hey man, you can't give me your employee discount on it? I need it today"

M: "Sorry I can't do that because I'll get in a lot of trouble for giving people my discount "

DM: "Nah its fine, man, I'll give you the cash to buy it yourself and I'll even throw in an ounce of good kush."

From there I was a little taken aback since that's my first customer who tried to barter with weed, but I insisted I would be in even more trouble if they found out, there was a repeat of these exchanges until he eventually backed down and left, but not before stopping at patio furniture and pointing out "man this is nice stuff, man" before finally leaving.

Sure man, I could have probably done that, and while you would have your mattress, I sure wouldn't have been able to sleep out of sheer paranoia

--GhostBoo-ty

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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