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Tales From Tech Support: "The whole system is down! Get there now!"


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From  bigfatguy64, Tales From Tech Support:

backstory: I (FatGuy) spent a summer working as a sort of IT guy at my Dad's (Dad) office after his long-time IT guy/Office Manager retired abruptly. This was a small doctor's office with probably around 12-15 employees. I was by no means an IT expert, but I could fix most of the issues that came up, which 9 times out of 10 were "the printer won't work." in the very rare case that it was something I couldn't solve with a quick google, I knew enough to not mess with anything, and outside of adding a user to the Active Directory once, I generally left the main server alone.

Most of the women working there (office was pretty much all women) could use a computer well enough to do their jobs and get to facebook but that was about the extent of it. There was one early-mid 40s big redneck woman in particular that was completely computer illiterate...for the sake of this story, let's call her Kevin. Kevin had been a receptionist at the office for at least 5 years.

Scene: 7:30am, morning of 4th of July.

Me: passed out after drinking with my buddies the night before.

Dad: (throws bedroom door open...running in in a panic) FATGUY! WAKE UP! There's something major going on at the office. I think we've got a virus or something! The whole system is down! You gotta get there now!!

Me: Good one's 4th of July and even if it wasn't the office doesn't open until 9.

Dad: This isn't a joke. Kevin came in to get caught up on a few things. She's down there right now and just called. She said the machines keep crashing when she tries to turn them on....she's about to try to get on the server and see what it does.

Me: YOU KEEP KEVIN OFF THAT SERVER! I'M LEAVING NOW (the thought of Kevin touching the server immediately put me into a panic)

after making record time to the office ...

Me: Okay Kevin, I need you to show me exactly what's happening

Kevin: (flustered) Okay, well I tried to turn on my computer and it gets halfway through the loading screen and then just turns off. Then I tried another computer and it won't even turn on at all. See, watch.

Kevin walks to her computer, presses the power button, the machine starts to boot...I notice Kevin is still holding the power button...the machine turns back off. Then Kevin walks to second computer, presses the power button, "See, it won't even start to turn on...the screen is still black....what the hell is going on?"

At this point, realizing exactly what was going on, I reached Picard levels of facepalm. I walk to the first computer, press the power button, release the power button, computer boots just fine. Then I walk to the second machine and flip on the monitor. Worked like a charm.

Kevin asked me to make up some elaborate story to tell my dad about how I fixed a major problem, but I thought the truth was better than any story I could have come up with. Needless to say, almost a decade later and Kevin still hasn't heard the end of it.












"It's not a starter, you don't hold it until the engine makes noise. You push the button and let it go."

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