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Retail Hell Memories: Why would you be proud of doing that with your ID?



From u/backingawayslowlynow, Tales From Retail:

I once worked at a convenience store, that had an ID everyone policy on tobacco products.

One day, two guys come in, and ask to buy some cigarettes. For clarity we will call them ID Guy and Proud Guy. Proud Guy is telling ID Guy what to buy, so I tell them I have to ID them both, since the one is clearly paying for the other.

ID Guy proceeds to earn his name by, sanely and calmly, pulling out his ID and handing it to me. Proud Guy proceeds to earn his name by smugly crossing his arms and beginning the following interaction:

Proud Guy: "You can't ID me because I don't have an ID, so there!"

First guy is looking at him weird, and so am I because why would you be proud of that? I mean this guy was REALLY proud of this fact, like he had figured out how to trick the system or something and whatever was I, a lowly cashier, going to do now.

ID Guy: "Dude, what are you doing? I know for a FACT that you have ID. You had to use it to get into the club a few weeks ago, so you need to just show it already."

Me:" If you have ID, you need to show me, because if you don't, I can't sell anything to either of you in the realm of tobacco products today, at all."

Proud Guy's face falls, and he starts to lose a bit of his smug demeanor.

Proud Guy: "I could just leave and you could sell it to ID Guy!"

Me: "No, I can't. You are clearly here together and I heard you both talking about making this purchase."

The ID Guy is losing his patience at this point.

ID Guy: "Just show your ID already, we have places to be!"

Proud Guy: "I can't...I don't have it anymore."

ID Guy: "What do you MEAN you don't have it anymore?"

Proud Guy suddenly swelled with pride again at this, as though he was about to tell us both a great thing in his life he was keeping secret. Like winning the lottery, or getting into a prestigious university.

Proud Guy: "I sold it!"

Both ID Guy and I look at him for a minute and simultaneously said: "WHAT?!?"

Proud Guy: "Yeah, I met some guys that offered me $150 for my ID, can you believe it? So, I sold it last week. It's no big deal, I'll just get a new one, probably sell that one too!"

ID Guy: "It's a super big deal, dude! Why would you do that? You're an idiot!"

Me: "I have to agree with him, man. They are going to steal your identity, and you're going to be pretty fucked, if you're not already. You should really call the police, and your bank, and probably do a credit check to figure out the damages so far."

Proud Guy starts to go pale, turns to ID Guy, and says "That isn't true, right?"

ID Guy takes his ID back from me, shakes his head, and pulls Proud Guy out of the store, with Proud Guy looking like he is about to cry.

I never saw Proud Guy again, and I never asked ID Guy about it when he came in a couple times after that.







Oy, what a dumbass... He probably just figured they'd use it to get into clubs, totally innocent of the fact that a good enough for that fake ID is probably much less...


Some people are bafflingly, mind-numbingly stupid.

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