From u/Daisthecat, Tales From Retail:

"I would like to return this pasta roller please" "Ok, I don't recognise the box as one we sell, do you have the receipt?"

Lady produces a receipt, I notice it has the name of our shop on the top (we've been open in the same premises since the 1970's), but it is an old style receipt, looking closer I see the date on the receipt is from 1996.

"you bought this 22 years ago?" "I did, but I've only used it a couple of times and I have the receipt here, I want a refund because I just don't use it enough"

I looked at her and simply boggled. Then explained that any guarantee or consumer rights coverage was long, long expired and that I simply couldn't give her a refund - even if it had grown a head and become sentient; this pasta roller was hers.

--u/Daisthecat