From Alice Newman, Wonkette
I worked for a fast food restaurant as a shift manager on a busy Friday night. I was standing at the fry bin when I felt a thump on the side of my head. I looked down and saw wrapped cheeseburger that had just bounced off my head. Looking up, I realize an angry woman had thrown it at me because she wanted her burger without onions, and when she went through the drive thru she got a burger with only onions.
Fair enough; (Editor’s Note: NO, NOT FAIR ENOUGH, WHAT THE FUCK YOU DON'T THROW SHIT AT PEOPLE!) I apologized and I offered her a new burger and free fries/soda for the mix-up. I then leaned down and picked up the burger off the floor and tossed it into the waste bin.
The lady proceeded to freak out because I threw away "perfectly good food," and asked for the burger back.
I told her I couldn't give her a burger that had been on the floor. While I was talking to her, the cashier was getting her new order together.
At that point, she was so angry, she threw all of her new food on me and walked out the door.
(Editor’s Note: Genuine question: How are you not writing this email from Leavenworth after unaccountably failing your justifiable homicide defense?)