From u/Lord-Table, TalesFromRetail

At uniquely named game store, we sell stuff. This is not unique, nor is it news. However, I remember exactly what I sell in a day. This also happened several minutes ago, typing it up during a slow break. I'll be Me, and the guy I had to deal with over the phone will be OPG (Old Phone Guy)

Phone ring

Me: Thanks for calling store name, Lord-Table speaking, how may I help you?

OPG: Grumble playst... grumble ...ot working got it today

It took several tries to get OPG to speak properly, fun times I tell you.

OPG: I got playstation one from you guys just a few minutes ago, and it's not working. I'm bringing it in for a refund.

Me, thoroughly bamboozled as I was, replied:

Me: I haven't sold a PS1 in several weeks. Perhaps you went to another location?

OPG: No, I went to the one at street rd. and road st.

Me: That's my location, but again, I haven't sold a PS1 in weeks.

OPG: Well I bought it from you, I recognize your voice. I'm coming over, and you're giving me a refund.

He hangs up, so I start waiting around, and lo and behold, some fart walks into my shop as I opened the sub, holding his PS1. He slaps it onto my counter.

OPG: I want a refund. It won't work, and I just got it.

Me: (With a practiced air of care) Do you have the receipt?

OPG produced a receipt... from major competitor. How. I thought this kind of stupidity was reserved for politicians. So I just stare at him for a solid thirty seconds.

Me: (Trying to contain my laughter) This is a receipt from our major competition, and is about a month old. Do you have our receipt?

Needless to say, OPG didn't appreciate my brain.

OPG: Now listen here, I bought this from you specifically an hour ago, and I demand my money back. You will give it to me!

Me: The last PS1 I sold was to a blonde lady several weeks ago, and you don't have the receipt with you. With the only receipt to have been shown to me was from our major competition about a kilometer east of here.

And wait for it... The perfect line that has low level employees quiver in their boots...

OPG: Let me talk to your manager.

Me: I am the manager.

Related: http://imgur.com/gallery/vPoiE

--u/Lord-Table