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Nasty Ass Thieves: You take something of ours, we’ll take something of yours



From u/T-h-r-i-ll-H-o-u-s-e Tales From Retail:

I work in a supermarket in the UK, have done for 4 years. I’m a grocery manager so on Tuesday I was running the promotion change working til midnight. About 8pm the duty manager calls me over and tells me to keep an eye out for a guy who is a known shoplifter, black jacket & jeans down the alcohol aisle. So I poke my head round the corner pretending to work on nothing in particular and I see him slip a 4 pack of beer into his pocket, so it’s only worth a few quid at most.

Anyways I follow him and he’s clearly going towards the door, so I phone the duty manager to meet me there. As he got to the doors we were jogging after him but as soon as he got outside he saw us and Usain Bolted outta there. So I’m sprinting across the car park after him (now it’s only a few quid I’m chasing him for but hey, a theft is a theft and I needed to liven up my evening), and he’s heading towards a motorbike. The duty manager shouts after him “I hope you aren’t getting on that bike because I’ve got the licence plate!”, and he changes direction slightly. I decided to give up the chase because he was nearing the edge of the property anyway, so I stopped at the bike he was heading towards and lo and behold, he’s left his bloody bike helmet on it he was in such a rush. I’m no expert on bikes so I don’t know how much the helmet is actually worth, but it’s a damn sight more than the 4 cans of beer he’s traded it for. I pick it up and take it inside after taking a picture of the bike.

He got his mate to pick up his bike but we’ve got his helmet, so who’s the real winner here? I don’t hear anything for a few days until yesterday afternoon, when he phones the store to ask for his helmet back, he’s told he can have it as soon as he pays for his beer, then he’s banned from our store. Today a policeman came in asking to speak with me and the duty manager about it; the store manager had called someone in to report it, so we went through it all, yada yada yada.

It turns out this jackass had actually called the police himself on Tuesday, without explaining what he had done, to report us stealing his fucking helmet, so now they knew the whole story they’re gonna be waiting for him to collect his helmet tomorrow morning! I hope he doesn’t have children, because he is an absolute moron.

Tl;dr guy stole £3 of beer from our shop, we took his bike helmet until he paid. He calls the police to report us for stealing.









Good thing the helmet actually was the thief's, and not stolen in and of itself.

Misty Meanor

Some people have NO brains!

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