From u/bunnyfrog_1st  Tales From Retail:

This story from my time in Cheap Beauty Shop.

Xmas time, so place was heaving, people were practically shoving so they could get gift sets and body lotion for their loved ones, because of course nothing says you care like body lotion.

I was on the perfume counter, working my way through the queue and occasionally doing giftwrapping. The public, for once, were behaving and waiting their turns.

Next up was Slightly Drunk Slob. He had no items to place on the counter.

Me: Hello, what can we interest you in?

SDS: Uhhh, what you got that's cheap?

Me: (practised spiel)

SDS: Um, whichever one is down there (points at bottom shelf)

I have to point out here that the shelves for the perfume section were literally made out of mirrors, so while my back is turned, can quite obviously see SDS stuff a box of the very cheap stuff into his armpit. I turn round and look at him steadily. I can actually see the little box peeking out from his sweaty pit.

SDS: Hey, I asked you for something!

Me: It looks like you already made your selection. How will you be paying?

SDS: (Academy award here for the Total Surprise on his face) Oh, what's this? I don't want this.

He then takes the moistened perfume box from under his arm and puts it on the counter.

Me: You know we can't sell that now?

SDS: I don't want anything. (Leaves quickly)

I actually have to use one of the wet wipes we kept under the counter to move the fragrant fragrance before the next customer rocks up...

--u/bunnyfrog_1st