From Home Improvement Whore:

So last week, I was on a regular register in the middle of the store for a few minutes. I only had a couple of customers in that short time. One of the last ones was a man who bought a key for something like $1.60 and gave me $100.60. So I gave him back his 99 dollars in change, told him to have a nice day, and he went on his merry way.

A couple minutes later, my head cashier told me to go down to commercial sales to give the cashier there lunch. I'd been down there 5, no more than 10 minutes when I got a call from the cashier who'd taken my place at the regular register.

This is about how it went. She's S, I'm H.

S: Do you remember a customer you had a little while ago who just bought a key and paid with 100 dollars?
H: Yeah, why?
S: (You could tell she didn't want to say it)... He says he gave you 200 dollars and you didn't give him his money back.
 
H: No, he only gave me 100.
S: (telling this to customer, then turns back to phone) Well, he says he put 200 down on the counter, and walked off without it, and now it's gone.
H: No, he didn't put any money down on the counter.
S: (reports this to customer, then turns to phone again) He says he did, and that you must have it.
H: (pissed off now) Well, if he wants to, he's welcome to come down here and watch me turn out my pockets, because I sure as hell don't have his money.
S: Ok, [my name]. (hangs up)

So I got a little more of the story that night from the other cashier, and the rest a couple days later from the head cashier he spoke to afterward.

Guy couldn't keep his story straight. First he said he was missing a hundred dollars, then he said it was TWO hundred dollars he was missing.

The cashier told me he'd kept saying, "Why'd she run off so fast? She MUST have it!"

Dude, I'm a frickin' cashier. I can't just run off whenever I feel like it.

Apparently that didn't occur to him. My head cashier told me later that after she'd checked under the cash drawer, where we keep the big bills, she offered to check the security cameras that hang over every register in the store to see if he'd laid the money on my counter.

This is when he decided, "Well, let me check my car and make sure it didn't fall out of my pocket or something!" Scurries out the door, then trots back in a few minutes later going "Oh, here it is! It was right outside the exit door, I must have missed putting it in my pocket, hahaha!" {runs out door}

Lying sack of shit. If you saw somebody drop 100 dollars, you'd A) run up to him with it and give it back to him or B) pocket it yourself and walk off whistling. No way it'd be lying outside the door for 10-20 minutes.

Naturally, after trying to scam us and blame me, he didn't have the balls to apologize. If I ever see him again though, I'll cuss him out. I hope he at least has the good sense not to come back to us. I wouldn't bet on it, though.

--Home Improvement Whore:

June 2009