Customer Rejects: Rocky Road on the Edge
Crappy Design: Panera Bread's Ribbon Bagel

Department Store Hell: Diary of a Fed Up Sales Associate


JchellFrom Shana, July, 2008:

June 27:

So I am at work at The Big P today and I'm cleaning out the fitting room... This water retaining sea cow sees that I'm cleaning it out and what does this BARN DWELLER do..... yep you guessed it she left her size 10 clothes (most of them hung inside out and clearly the wrong size) hanging in the stall. If I could have punched her in the head when she walked out I would have!! But I went to my happy place and no one got hurt! And has anyone noticed ALL of the pregnant women walking around? I counted one day. I was working a 5 hour shift and I swear there were 45 women that were pregnant! Was the winter that long?

June 29:


July 3:

Why in God's name do people bring their kids into a department store and let them scream at the top of their lungs the whole time they are shopping? Are they def and just cant hear it? Because I know all the stores in the mall can hear it. I HATE RETAIL!! My life is like death and customers are the spawn of Saran! And if I hear one more person ask "Do you work here" as I am pulling all of the cloths they have just tried on in the fitting room I am going to slap them so hard they will lose the taste in their mouth!Seacow

July 5:

OMG... Did the pig farm let out on the 4th?? There were soooooo many nasty slobs in my store that I wanted to SLAM my head in a fitting room door!!!!! To top it off there were these three plump (and I use that word just to be nice) WOMEN shopping in the juniors department and they broke the zippers on most of the cloths they tried on. I wonder if they have fun house mirrors in their house that make them look smaller than they are? Please god (Freddy, Caroline or Jason) tell me that there is more to life than picking up after the trailer trash that shop at my store!

July 10:

Have I mentioned lately that I HATE RETAIL!! It wouldn't be so bad if we could have customers take a short quiz before they were allowed to come in the store. You know a multiple choice. Like for instance:

1. After trying on clothes I should...

FITTINGROOMBITCH2A. ...throw them on the floor for the poor ass that's working here to pick up after me.
B. ...hang them on hangers inside out and leave them in the stall.
C. ...not give a shit because it's not my job to pick them up or put them away.
D. none of the above and return them all to the Fitting Room Attendant just as I took them in: Folded or hanging neatly from their hangars.

I think our lives would be so much easier if we could implement this. Could you just imagine the retail data base of white trash, camel toe slobs that would be banned from stores because they failed this test!! THAT WOULD BE SWEET!!! 

July 18:

So here we are once again... the Barn Dwelling Water Retaining Sea Cow has hit again!! I wish I could get it through her thick skull that no matter what, she will not be fitting into a juniors size seven EVER! How can I explain this... Well it's like trying to suck a WATERMELON through a GARDEN HOSE!! Plus the slob once again hung all of her clothes inside out and on the floor!!! I think she calls to see if I'm working just so she can piss me off!!








I used a fitting room a few years ago and couldn't believe how the attendant insisted on taking the clothes and putting them back for me. I was trying to go and hang them all back on the racks for the sizes that didn't fit. It's what I'd done my whole life, taught to me by my parents. I'm going back there to get a different size to try on anyway. I was O K if you really want to do it, here you go. We both walk to the rack, she hangs the shirts on the rack and I pull shirts off the same rack.


Because while you're a sane person who would understand 'put it back where you found it', the attendant has no way to know you're not Kung Fool, the ninja-stealth master who will hide a shirt behind the Frosted Flakes in the food area, and make her have to spend an hour following your tracks... takes her less time to do it even though it looks dumb than to have to try and puzzle out where some idiot thinks 'the same t shirt as on the rack over there' belongs...

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