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Retail Balls Awards: Hotel Customer Gets Told

Do You work here Comeback Lines: Discounts and Dumbasses




From Half-Hearted Sales Ninja, 

I have worked in just about all aspects of customer service/retail. I loathe people (surprise, surprise) but I am usually good at hiding it by pretending to be jovial, personable, and friendly (which, by nature, I am NOT!) and by making lots of jokes.

Sadly, my comedic gold is lost on most customers. They are generally too stupid to get my jokes.

Insert sad face here.

While working in a womens clothing shop, a woman asked if we sold any underwear.

It's not something we usually carry, but we had gotten some overstock of thongs from another store, so I showed her to the basket of random thongs we were selling for a buck each.

She asked if we had anything else, and I told her that, unfortunately, this was all we had at the time.

She remarked that this was too bad because she just "couldn't get into thongs", to which I replied "Don't worry, they get into YOU"

Funny, no?

I thought so anyways, and so did my manager and coworker.

The customer? Totally blank and uncomprehending.


Another time, at the same shop, I was doing markdowns. I had a big stack of papers full of numeric codes in one hand, a price gun in the other, a highlighter tucked behind one ear, a store badge hanging around my neck, and half of my body had disappeared inside a rounder of winter jackets.

A customer walks up to me and asks "Excuse me, do you work here?"

Let me point out that customers are bundled in winter attire and I am not only in the conditions described above, but I AM WEARING A T SHIRT AND SNEAKERS!

My response?

"Nah, this is how I get great deals!"

Her response was to lean in towards me conspiratorially and ask in a low tone, "Does that really work?"


Just wish it had been HER face hitting my palm.

Silly comic included :)

Oooooooh! Can I make up a name?! K I will anyways! 


--Halfhearted Sales Ninja


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