From Let Them Eat Crack, March, 2012:
I've been a little under the weather the past few days because a "lady" came through my line while I was running register about a week and a half ago and coughed in my face. Not one of those little ones that sneaks up on you during cold season for which you immediately apologize, this bitch coughed in my face so that I could feel the wind off of it from two feet away not once but three times in the time it took me to ring up about $100 worth of stuff.
But I digress, a few days before Phlegmy LePew up there came through my line this seemingly nice custy came up with four bags of grapes and told me before I ever started her order that she couldn't find a scale and only wanted "about five pounds of grapes or so." A reasonable enough request as she had been polite and told me after saying hello and before I started ringing them up, then it went to hell, literally.
I laid the first three bags of grapes on the scale and the weight pops up (the biggest part of our display) and exactly 6 and 2/3 lbs or...queue dramatic music...6.66lb. Before I have a chance to move a bag because it is clearly more than she wanted the woman goes all Demonic on me:
"You HAVE to remove one of those, I simply CANNOT have that number, I just won't stand for it"
Me under my breath: Its just a number ma'am.
"NO IT IS NOT!!!"
Yes, its six and two thirds pounds but I will try to get closer to five like you wanted.
*I trade out the top bag for the other on the belt and it comes up to just under six lbs.
"Oh my that is much better, These are for the Prison Ministry and I couldn't stand to have that, it just wouldn't be right."
I go on about the order laughing about the lady with THE DEMON GRAPES (*twirl mustache in a sinister fashion) until I see the Headline on one of the several news papers we sell is an editorial about the dangers of prisoners using fruit to make homemade hooch (that's alcohol they make from fermenting fresh fruit and bread).
Thanks for tuning in,
--Let them Eat Crack (or drink that sweet toilet wine)
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