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Hellspawn Tales: "Does THIS belong to you?"



From Joe The Cigar Guy, August, 2009:

Observed in a local (Washington, D.C.) restaurant:

The place was sparsely populated. Only three tables out of twenty-five were occupied. At the front of the place was a party of four: a couple of 30-somethings and a couple of 60-somethings. They're talking, talking, talking and having a good time. But wait...they're actually a party of five. The fifth member of their group was a boy about five years old. And he is very methodically going from table to table, unscrewing the tops of the salt and pepper shakers, and dumping the contents on the tabletops. When one of the female servers tried to stop him, he yelled, "You're not my mommy!" He then ran into the bar area. When he came back into the dining room, he started chanting, "I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go HOME!"
And the whole time, neither Mom, Dad, Grandpa nor Grandma even looked in his direction. They didn't take any notice when he plowed into a server carrying a full tray of food. When he walked up to my table and announced, "You're UGLY!", I'd had enough. I took him by the shirt and frog-marched him up to his family's table. 
"Does THIS belong to you?  If it does, you better get him away from me, 'cause I'm this close to kicking his ASS!"
All four of them looked at me like I was from Mars. I pointed out the damage he'd done. They all continued to stare at me. Then Mom reached into her purse and brought out a candy bar. "Here Michael, come sit by Mommy."
No apology, no discipline, nothing. Little Michael got a REWARD!
I thought to myself, "Start saving up the bail money; you're gonna NEED it!"

--Joe The Cigar Guy







The new hurricane is named Michael and this boy is the human version of it! The boy and his clueless mom should be forced to clean up the mess he made. I have a feeling in 20 to 25 years when this kid ends up in prison the mom will say her son is a good boy and how shocked she is he got into trouble!


They should have charged the tables an extra $20 to pay for all the salt and pepper that had to be replaced.

Misty Meanor

I weep for parents sometimes.


More likely He'll end up a supreme court justice!


Seems the mother is believing "Boys will be boys." which is actually bullshit.

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