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Nursing Hell: Asshat Patients



From PyschRN, February 2010:

First of all, I LOVE this site!!  It makes me remember my days of Restaurant Waitress Hell at a certain restaurant whose name includes a color and a large crustacean. 

I now work as a Registered Nurse. THAT has its own brand of HELL. For some reason hospitals have now begun pushing the 'customer service' aspect of a visit to the hospital. 

They have gone so far as to give nurses SCRIPTS containing exactly what they want RNs to say to these 'customers'...things like 'Is there anything else I can get for you?  I have the time.' 

Now I don't know about you, but if someone said that to me EVERY hour for 3 days, I'd probably shoot them (or myself). 

I thought I'd gotten away from such nonsense when I took my job as a clinic nurse in a county mental health clinic (my specialty is psychiatric nursing...a whole other story). I adore most of my patients, but we get some real asshats.

To top that off, every SINGLE one of our patients is on welfare, and 99.9% of them have 'entitlement syndrome'.

Anyhow one day, I had the following encounter with a patient over the phone:

Me: Hi, this is PsychRN, can I help you?
Patient (Pt):  I need my Xanax script called in early. I'm going to California because my dad died and the pharmacist says I need an override from you to get it filled.
Me:  Sorry to hear your dad died. Really all I can do is call in the prescription for you but it's up to your (state-run) insurance as to whether they'll pay early or not. What's your name?
Pt:  Just CALL IT IN! GODDAMN!  I don't care what you have to do.  My dad is DEAD. *huff*  *male voice in background says 'shut UP!'
Me:  (starting to get suspicious)...Hey!  This story sounds familiar...are you X?  Because if you are, you must have more than one dad because you called with this same story about 6 months ago! And if you are X, there's no WAY I'm calling it in early for you.
Pt:  FUCK YOU, BITCH!  *click*
Me:  *giggles and goes back to charting*
Ah, the stories I could tell! The asshats really hate getting transferred to me because 1) Most of them know me and they know I won't take shit off ANYBODY ,2)  Try as they might, they just can't make me MAD! haha and 3) I can smell bullshit a MILE away...if the story is bogus, then SORRY! NO EARLY XANAX FOR YOU! 
--your friendly PsychRN






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