Customer Rejects: Chocolate Instead of Garters
Silly Signage: Zombie Goals

Old People Hell: The Carpet Custy



From Marv, June, 2009, 

I owned my own little corner of Retail Hell, a pipe shop in a major suburban mall.  One morning an old couple came in to sniff the tobacco and shoot the breeze.  They were dressed in their finery as it was Sunday and I expect they had come to the mall direct from church.  The old man asked me questions while the lady held his arm the entire time.  (I know..."Aw, how cute...")

Then I heard the unmistakable sound of running water.  Not into a sink, but that sound you get when you've knocked over your coffee cup and it's running off the counter and dripping steadily onto the carpet.  While I talked I quickly scanned for my little styrofoam cup - nowhere to be found.  The man droned on and on about god knows what while I searched high and low for the errant cup.  My assistant manager would kid me no end if I left a puddle of coffee for him find when he got in later.

Carolanne 024aThe couple finally left and I located my coffee - sitting upright, right where it belonged.  Now I was intrigued, so I headed out in front of the counter to see what might have caused the noise.  Did some kid leave a his juice box to be knocked over?  Did someone leave a drink of some sort, or bottle of cleaner open to be accidentally knocked over?

Imagine my surprise....

THERE right where the old bat had been standing the entire time was a puddle of PISS!  She had stood there the entire time while holding her husbands arm, him talking away to me, and she peed right there on my carpet!  Neither one of them had made any signal that they knew what was going on and they both probably stepped in it and tracked it across the store on the way out!

This was a thick carpet, too - not tile which I could easily have mopped up!  No, I had to clean it, and being under the "Agricultural Constructs of the State" I had to clean it a certain way!  So I had to close the freaking store, go and rent a steam cleaner and clean the entire carpet myself!! I lost an entire days worth of income and had to work even harder than if the store had been open!

If I ever see that B*tch again I'd scream at her to get out and go buy some Depends!!


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I volunteer at a nursing home and even the demented elderly people ask me to take them to the bathroom. I get a nurse to help them. It's very rude of this woman to urinate on the carpet unless she has a bladder infection. I had one at age nine and it made peeing painful and out of control! Throw Depends at this woman next time you see her. If this husband knows his wife is unsanitary and does nothing to help her, he is contributing to her problems!

Kai Lowell

It's still rude even if she did have one BH, especially as a pipe shop is not some important emergency have-to-stop-here-NOW place if one is ill enough they can't control their bodily functions in public...

Misty Meanor

I wonder if she was even aware she was urinating at the time?

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