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Retail Balls Awards: The High Price of Being a Jerk


Retailballsjason From Billy, August, 2008. A tale of how he got revenge with a lazy Demanding Diva Customer:

"I work in a pretty gigantic grocery store. This particular chain of grocery stores is well renowned and respected and I'm at one of the largest stores in the WNY division. I'm pretty sure our store is around 130,000 square feet. It's also self service, like 99.9% of all grocery stores. It's one of those places where, if you are on a budget, you can buy some of the best quality, least expensive foods and if you aren't then you can buy some pretty expensive gourmet shit.

Because this particular location of the store is in a 'wealthy' (=middle class) area, many of our customers have SERIOUS attitude issues. A few weeks ago, a woman walked up to the service desk (where I work - lucky me) hands me a gigantic list of groceries and says 'I need these.'

Clearly, I'm a bit shocked, but I collect myself and hand her list back, along with a pre-printed store directory, and tell her that the directory will help her find things. She hands it back to me and says "No, I need YOU to get these for me. I'm in a hurry."
EntitledbitchI try to kindly explain that we are a self-service grocery store and that we don't have a shopping service and that furthermore it would probably take me LONGER to do her shopping because I wouldn't know specifically what she wanted. She refuses to accept this and soon my manager is involved, trying to tell her that we can't do her shopping for her.

She continues to make a big deal about it and asks for the front end manager (above the service desk manager). So, our gigantic Paris-Hilton-Meets-a-Hippo Front End Manager comes up. The woman starts crying to her and telling her she just came from having surgery and her mother is in the hospital and she is in a hurry, blah blah blah. The front end manager isn't buying it, but after a while she says to me 'Can you just get these things, it's the only way to get this lady to leave.' We're now about a half hour into this lady's stay in our store.

So, begrudgingly, I begin to do this woman's shopping. Her list is a work of art in itself. Instead of specific items and brands, she has such things listed as 'spaghetti sauce,' 'bread' and 'snacks.' So, wanting to provide her with the best quality items, I decide to select the most expensive items offered in each category. So instead of $1.49 store brand spaghetti sauce, $.99 white sandwich bread, and $2.00 store brand potato chips, I select two jars of $14.99 imported pasta sauce, an $8.00 loaf of fresh baked organic whole wheat bread, and $25.00 gourmet cookies. You get the idea. I fill the entire cart in this manner.
Oh yeah, and I went really slow. About an hour and a half of shopping. It was a long list!
I get everything on her list and then bring it back up to the desk, where she is just standing there with a bored look on her face, getting in the way of people trying to buy lotto tickets. I give her the cart and tell her she can get in the lines and cash out. She scoffs at this and DEMANDS to be taken care of at the service desk. Normally we can cash out short orders, but not big ones like this. We don't have a moving belt and we only have a portable bag stand (the registers have two bag stands each which are bolted in place so they don't move all over the place). She complains until we finally give in and take her order. Because we are not properly equipped, it takes me about a half hour to ring in her order.

If you're keeping track we're at over two and a half hours.
Now, if this were my shopping, on my budget (hey, I'm part time) the same list would have cost maybe $150 dollars. But due to my creative shopping style, this cart of groceries comes to about $1,400. She starts to argue with me but I cut her off and say 'Have a great day, ma'am, you'd better rush along to get to your mother in the hospital- I'm sure she really needs you now!'
She didn't know what to say after that so she just left- albeit not very happily. We printed up a second copy of the receipt and hung it in the back supply closet "Hall of Fame."






Misty Meanor

THAT is a customer from hell!


I remember this from the original posting. It was hilarious then and it's still funny as hell now.

Tech Support Survivor

Mmmmmm, sweet sweet malicious compliance. Too bad you couldn't have gotten some commission on top of it ;)


I'm normally against giving in to the customer, but in this case, I think I'll make an exception

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