This story was originally posted on November 26, 2009

From Chicken Flinger

So I recently got a job at a well known fast food chicken place.

I can leave it up to you to decide which one.

I was working the lobby cash register the other night and we were experiencing a rush. You can see where this is going, right?

So, of course, at the beginning of the line is a man who seems to speak no language whatsoever (no, he was not deaf, he just didn't seem to have a comprehending of any language we tried speaking to him).

He kept pointing at the menu, saying he wanted "that".

Me: Which one?

Him: That. *points*

Me: Where?

Him: One on the bottom. *points again for emphasis*

Me: The 4-piece individual meal?

Him: Yessss!

Me: Original, extra crispy...?

Him: No no no, I just want chicken.

Me: *hits original just to save time* What else can I get for you tonight?

Him: I want that one too. *points above my head*

Me: You want the football box? Which one? We have 5 different kinds.

Him: No no no, I just want that one.

Me: Yes, but which one are you pointing to?

Him: At the top!!

Me: Okay, do you want that in original, extra crispy or grilled?

Him: No no no, I just want chicken! Like in picture!!

Me: *looking up I notice the picture is grilled, so I put that in my computer. as I review his order...* So I have a 4-piece original with mashed potatoes and coleslaw and a football box with mashed potatoes and coleslaw?

Him: I never order a 4-piece! I just want that! THAT! *points violently*

Me: The PICTURE? You want what's in the PICTURE? *he nods* The family meal or the individual meal?

Him: ONE AT BOTTOM. I want exactly like picture!

Me: Okay, so that's a TWO PIECE ORIGINAL with mashed potatoes and coleslaw-

Him: But I want the SALAD in the PICTURE!

Me: That's coleslaw sir.

Him: Fine, give that.

Me: TWO PIECE ORIGINAL with mashed potatoes and COLESLAW and a football box with TWO PIECES GRILLED chicken with potato wedges and COLESLAW. Anything else for you tonight?

Him: I got the one in picture? I only want one in picture! *points again* What is the two piece?

Me: *resisting the urge to walk into the fryer and put my head in it* Yes sir, you got the one in the picture. The one in the picture is the TWO PIECE. Anything else for you tonight?

Him: No that all. *pauses* I got one in picture?

I've only been working this job for about 3 weeks and this was the first truly frustrating customer I've had to date. We spoke to him in a couple of languages and he seemed to understand none of them!

I'm sure I will have more tales from the fryer in time!

Greasily yours,

--Chicken Flinger

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