Sidewalk Signage on Laziness
Retail Hell Memories: Monstrous Cigar Shop Customer Apologizes



In tech support, the 'customer' is -never- right. If they knew what the problem was they would fix it themselves. If you've called us, it's not something you can do, so let us do our job. You want your shit unfucked, we want you off our phone and the quickest way to do that is to unfuck your shit. Don't fight us, do what we tell you, do ONLY what we tell you, and tell us what happened, and it will be fixed as quickly as we possibly can do it.

If it turns out to be something we CAN'T fix, but we tell you what you need to get done, then yes, we HAVE helped you. I can't teleport hardware to you over the phone, and if your internet connection is down, that's a Not My problem, but by the time I tell you that is Your Problem, I've proven it to you and given you sufficient information to prove to the goobers at the ISP (who are most commonly 'customer service', which is very much not tech support; they pat you on the head and tell you to reboot the modem then they'll send someone out six months from now) what the actual problem is and how to explain it to them to get the minimum of fuckery from them too.


Heh. My last ISP support job was right after the recession for a company that offers a universe service. It was so bad there were times I would make it to the parking lot and call in because I couldn't face going through the doors. They had this stupid call flow deal that we had to use for EVERYTHING. It took 10 minutes to replace someone's remote, and if we wanted to do any actual troubleshooting, we had to get approval


Console tech support is a hell lot worse.

Many times, I was tempted to tell them that they were too stupid to own a game console. I couldn't since I would be booted from the volunteer tech support program, which I eventually left.


When I was in AOhelL I often hoped to get in an accident on the way to work so I wouldn't have to go in... and that is not an exaggeration. The suicidal depression didnt' start there, but it wasn't helped by it.


(stupid fast fingers and keyboard shortcuts) And 'too dumb to own a console' How do they manage to keep breathing on their own?


The 'too stupid to own a console' is based on the Rinkworks Computer Stupidities story where someone said that they were too stupid to own a computer.

Yes, I did have people who weren't too bright when it comes to game consoles.
It was bad enough when they thought the volunteer program was the actual tech support team.

They would try to demand refunds for remaining subscription time, since their console no longer worked or they switched to another company.

Seriously, if you're the parent, guardian; who doesn't know shit about consoles, but the kid does. Let them explain the issue to tech support, and not your shitty ass.

Its funny when they threaten to go to another company, who will have similar issues, that won't do them any good.

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