Christmas Carol Carnage
From Tenebris
Sung to the tune of It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This
Everywhere you go
Take a look in my hopeless eyes as my soul slowly dies, listening to Jingle Bell Rock a thousand times once again
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This
Spawn in every store
But the prettiest sight to see, is the dead bolt that will be
On your own front door
A manager with a spine, and a taser for the line is the wish of Barney and Ben
A customer that can read and is doing what he's told is the hope of Janice and Jen
And mom and dad won't control their kids
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This
Everywhere you go
There's a mess on the changing room floor, and a fight down aisle ten
As the parents kick and scream and bite
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This
Soon the sales will start
And the thing that will make you break, is the custys that will yell right within your store
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This
Soon the hell will start
And the thing that will make you yell, is the carols straight from hell, right within your store
It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This, Fuck This, Fuck This, Fuck This
--Tenebris
discover more Christmas Carol Carnage here
checkout the horrors of Holiday Hell here
Posted by Freddy on Sunday, November 04, 2018 | Permalink
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Comments (4)
Indeed. I hate xmas.
Posted by: TechTyger | Sunday, November 04, 2018 at 04:53 AM
If I have a job during the holidays, it'll be a miracle. So what if there'll be nightmares? At least I have things to write about!
Posted by: Misty Meanor | Sunday, November 04, 2018 at 08:15 AM
Same, TT. The greed, the commercialization, the entitlement that kids and adults seem to feel, the epic douchecanoes that think saying "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" is an assault on the American way of life and freedom everywhere.
Actually, now that I think of it, they're the best part of this miserable holiday. My favorite Christmas pass time is saying Happy Holidays or some other non-Christian holiday greeting and watching them explode
Merry Solstice, RHU, and may Thrognar's blessing be upon you this holiday season and keep you safe from the hordes of mindless zombies searching for that deal on black Friday
Posted by: TenebrisVenator | Monday, November 05, 2018 at 03:46 PM
That's pretty much exactly it. I don't care about the holiday in general, definitely not religious at all, and it's a good excuse to give friends stuff, which is fine... but people being offensively falsely cheerful and insisting that you be cheerful too and all the sickeningly saccharine cloying songs all nostalgic for a time that was invented whole cloth by the Victorians... blurgh.
Posted by: TechTyger | Tuesday, November 06, 2018 at 04:30 AM