From The Key Oracle:
On the desk in my home office are two phones. One phone is the family phone and often receives calls from friends and family. The other phone is used for other things (outgoing faxes, etc.) and rarely receives legitimate calls. The other phone rings and when I answer there is a 10 second wait followed by someone speaking in a slight Southeast Asian accent so I already know where this is going.
CB: Is this Mr. ????????
ME: Yep, that’s me.
CB: This is Computer Bullshit and I am calling you to let you know that your computer is sending out errors into the internet.
ME: That’s great. I have spent the last week programming it to do that. Thanks for letting me know that I have been successful.
CB: I am here to help you fix your computer so that it will no longer be sending out errors.
ME: Why would I want it to stop after spending so much time and effort to get it to do that?
CB: But your computer is sending out errors.
ME: Right, isn’t that fantastic?
CB: I am here to help fix it.
ME: It is not broken, it is doing just what I want it to.
CB: Ok, bye.
-- The Key Oracle