From DV-DIVA, January, 2011, right before all the video stores closed:

There is a custy whom I have had the "pleasure" to serve in two different stores now.

I've worked in a total of four stores over the several years I've been employed with my company. His name is John. (Name changed to protect the ignorant.)

John is special. And by special, I mean...certifiable. At my original store, he would frequently bring my employees half a ream of computer paper printed up with information on alien abduction.

No one ever asked him for this information, I think it was more like John felt that he was providing them a service.

What he was actually providing was a good amount of scratch paper for our office.

My distaste for John and his eccentricities began when he came in to return a copy of "Hairspray" that he had rented.

We had the following conversation:

Me: *Generally tolerant of him at this point, but knowing he wasn't all there* "How'd you like the movie, John?"

John: "I found it to be disturbing, and totally without any sense of reality whatsoever."

Me: *Blinks* "I um...it's just a fun musical, really...I guess I can understand people thinking it's disturbing though."

John: "What disturbed me most is that the obese young woman found love with the good looking young man."

He eyes me up and down as I stand there slack-jawed. I, myself, am overweight. An important detail at this point.

John: "Honestly...Do YOU ever expect to find love?"

From that moment on, my feelings toward John and his eccentricities revolve around the various parts of his anatomy that he can stick them in. I'm only as polite to him as my job dictates that I must be.

This past week though, he took the cake...

He came in, complaining that the new store I'm in is too far away. Since the original store closed down a year ago, he now has a further distance to travel in order to get his movies and hand out his alien abduction books.

John depends solely on public transportation, and the bus stop is too far away for him to walk from it to our store. This is upsetting to John. But John has come up with a plan. He comes into the store, and asks to speak with me. 

I go over, and he lets me know that he has decided that he's going to ask us to set aside a couple hours a week for an employee to go to his house, pick him up, bring him to the store, allow him to pick out his movies, and then take him back home.

I could barely stand there and keep a straight face while he laid this plan out.

Of course, I told him that this wasn't a possibility, and he attempted to argue with me, but I stood my ground.

The impromptu staffing meeting he was holding ended with him telling me that this would be the LAST time he ever came to our store, because we were unreasonable, and more interested in the interests of "Big Brother" than in the well-being of our customers.

Now that I think about it...I should have told him to ask one of his alien buddies for a ride.

Apparently, they like picking people up.

--DV-Diva

 for more Retail Hell Memories go here

and checkout more crazy custy here...

We do also have a category for Video Store Hell here  (doesn't have a lot in it, but there are few more tales from DV-Diva!)