Danger! Piggy Shopper Rug Slide!
I'm Fairly Certain This Caique Shares Our Reaction To The Explosion Of Christmas Crap Today

SPRITZY'S 10 TIPS ON WHAT NOT TO WEAR (TO A RETAIL INTERVIEW)

 

Spritzy5aFrom Spritzy, November, 2010:

 

Watch out Stacy and Clinton!

RHU has it's own fashionista team here to critique and criticize the fashion choices of today's Retail applicants.

After being involved in my company's hiring process I've seen all sorts of applicants and interviewees; from smart, sharp suits to just-rolled-outa-bed funkocity.

Now while a Brooks Brothers suit isn't quite necessary for interviewing at a minimum wage position, the effort is duly noted and quite preferred over the opposite end of the attire spectrum...and it is for those on that end of the fashion scale that we are all gathered here today.

I present....Spritzy's What Not To Wear (to a retail interview)

And here we go!

1. Don't wear anything with reference to any illicit substances or illegal activities.

Even though you may not partake of such things, it just doesn't shine well on your integrity to have a 8 inch gilded pot-leaf medalion wafting back and forth across your chest.

This becomes even more of a downfall if you get a panic-stricken look on your face at the mention of the words "company mandated drug test."

2. Don't wear anything with scantily clad people, references to alcoholic beverages, stupid/rude/obnoxious quotes or any combinations of the above.

Now I know we're all for good times, but interview time is not Miller Time.

Save the days off with your friends to proclaim that you can "Partay Harday Shawday".

Also, be aware of what the statements on your shirt can reveal about yourself. It's never a good idea to go into an interview wearing a shirt that says "I'm not unmotivated, I'm just lazy".

3. Don't wear anything with obvious rips, stains or holes.

Now I know that some people have been hard-up for employment for quite some time and as a result their wardrobe has gotten a bit shabby, for that I can understand and sympathize. But there's a difference between a worn knee or cuff on one's slacks; and having the back pockets of your jeans intentionally half ripped off.

You may be infatuated with your glitter-thong...but an interview is not the place to show it off....trust me, it won't get you the points you want in order to get hired.

We're a Superstore, not a Store for Superwhores.

4. Don't wear grubby flip-flops/sandals...with or without socks.

Now the entire population of the universe...with the exception of anyone over the age of 80 or who's name is Uncle Milty...should know that sandals/flip-flops with socks is ALWAYS a cardinal fashion sin....plus it just looks goofy.  Spritzy2b

Also, wearing dirty, grimy flip-flops; showing off your wonderful collection of toejam, assorted fungi and callouses, will most certainly cause the interviewer to spend more time mentally gagging at your feet than paying attention to your job history.

5. Don't wear clothes that smell.

Now this doesn't just mean body-funk. Avoid bathing in perfume or cologne as well. Dealing with an applicant that smells like an overactive fragrance counter at Macy's or like a elevator full of old ladies can be just as distracting and off-putting as eau-du-sweat.

So please, wear freshly washed clothes and skip the scent.

6. Dazzle us with your work ethic, not your bling.

We will not be impressed by your three rings per finger and your 8 cubic pounds of chains around your neck. Focus more on your value as an employee rather than your value as a walking jewelry tree.

7. Holy, holy holy! You're punk, you're badass, and you want the world to know it! Well you'd better stow it at a retail interview.

90% of retail places don't allow facial piercings, and if they do hire you despite your perforated facade, they'll make you agree to take out all your face-elery. So best off to keep it at a minimum whenever possible so the interviewer will notice your impeccable attendance record rather than your triple-loop nose-to-eyebrow ring.

8. Follicle frenzy!

Dying to change your hair to something that really makes a statement? Like say, a two foot tall neon green mohawk or something from the Edward Scissorhands style line?

Well you will prolly wanna wait till after that retail interview. once again, you want to impress the interviewer with your stellar work performance and not your pommade's rock-hard hold.

9.Tune in, Drop out, Shut up.

For corn's sake PLEASE turn off your cell phone! At the very least put the dang thing on mute and whatever you do DON'T ANSWER THE DAMN THING! You can totally find out what Becky's wearing to the club and how much she hates her stupid-ass ex AFTER the interview.

10.Turn that frown upside down! ^_^ Spritzy4a

One of the worst things you can wear to an interview is a bad attitude or a sour personality. I've had countless applicants not even make it to the interview stage because they called to ask for an interview and then chewed me out for not giving them one right away or telling them I'd have the managers look over the application before making a interview decision....that is an immediate disqualification in my book.

If you slump in the chair, refuse to make any eye contact (I personally suck at eye contact, but try an honest effort for such occasions) answer the interviewers questions in short, gruff two-syllable answers or make negative comments about past employers you will not get hired.

If you wake up on your interview day and feel like a seaming pile of dog shit...be it illness or just a bad-mojo day...call and ask to reschedule your interview. A bad attitude can ruin even the most sharp-dressed applicant interview.

These pretty much all come from examples of applicants we've had pass through our doors, some have even regrettably been hired, though in most cases their employment has been short lived.

So take heed and dress appropriately for your next retail interview, mayhaps it will open doors to get you into a heavenly retail-free employment in the future!

Retail-Snudges!

--Spritzy

 

for more Interview Hell go here

for some Dress Code Hell go here

 

 

 

Comments

McHell Manager

When I was just 17 (about to turn 18 in a few weeks) my sister forced me to put in an application at McD's when we went to get food. I didn't expect to put in an app that day or even get interviewed that day, so I was dressed in sweatpants and a grubby shirt that had hydrolic fluid on it from me attempting to fix a swivel chair earlier. I handed in the application, and suddenly bam, I am in the interview. I bullshitted my way through it and somehow got hired that day. My sister and brother in law were in the car, waiting for me as I came out dazed and confused, going "I have orientation on Friday?" I was such a newbie I had no idea what that meant, whether I was hired or not. And that's what kickstarted 13 years of McHell for me.

CA205

I used to work in the customer service department of a local upper class store. Had a girl come in the fill out an application wearing shorts, flip-flops and a bathing suit top. Not only that, she had 3 friends in tow. Her application went directly into the round file.

Tenebris Venator

Heh. The sandals one reminds me....About 7 or 8 years ago, I was going for a job interview, and I, having no job, had downgraded to a smaller, cheaper apartment just a few days before. Now, having just moved, a large amount of my stuff was either in storage or had been chucked, including one each of both pairs of shoes I owned. No idea how I managed to miss my big ass shoes getting thrown out, but I did. So, the only viable footwear I had available for the interview was my sandals. I show up for the interview in my nice shirt and tie, dress pants, and....socks with sandals! I figured that A) Wearing socks with sandals would look better than my gross ass toes hanging out, and B) Showing up in sandals would look better than cancelling or rescheduling at the last minute. So, I got there, and the very first thing I said to my interviewer, after the obligatory handshake and introduction, was

"Before we go any further, I'd like to apologize for my footwear. I would normally NEVER dream of showing up for an interview wearing sandals, but I just moved, and it looks like one of my shoes managed to go to storage, and I didn't have time to go search for it"

Surprisingly, I wound up getting the job, and on my first day, the hiring manager that did my interview told me "If you hadn't explained the sandals, I wouldn't have hired you. Good job on being honest and self aware"

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)