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From BasementRat, August, 2017:

A friend who is a docent for a large U.S. zoo often tells me about his fun encounters , both the animal and human kind. He is studying to be a large animal veterinarian. It is mostly outdoor work, which he enjoys and he has come to know the habits, likes and dislikes of the animals on exhibit.

Visitors to the zoo are many, especially on weekends. My friend enjoys speaking to tourists from all over the country and the world.

One day a group of about a dozen came up to the rhino enclosure. They were all wearing team sweatshirts from the University of Michigan. My friend was delighted to see them because he had gone to the school . He told them all about the rhinos and warned them to stay back from the fence because they have a habit of urinating in a wide arc. A hippo will fan his tail in a circular motion while in the water , a sort of cement mixing of their urine and excrement, while a rhino when urinating, will pretty much flood an entire area with pee.


After five minutes they said that the exhibit was lousy ,a waste of time and money. My friend told them that they are not trained circus acts and not to taunt the animals.

My friend walked away in disgust and got about twenty feet away from the rude tourists when he heard screams.

He turned around in time to see the dozen sweatshirt wearing alums being hosed down with gallons of urine.

From head to toe, some with open mouths too stunned to move, the visitors were soaked in steaming piss.

Drenched and stinking, they cried for help, and demanded an answer why?...why did the rhino do THAT? My friend quipped…”Well, you were wearing Michigan team sweatshirts, that particular rhino came from an Ohio zoo, he is obviously a Buckeye fan.”




read more Zoo Hell stories here





Misty Meanor

Serves them right!


Sometimes the comedic timing sense of the universe gets it juuuuuust right.


Anyone else think of Homer on that safari?


TV, did you mean Homer Simpson? I kind of remember him tormenting zoo animals, but my memory of him teasing an Amish man is clearer to me. I remember the man's horse kicking Homer after Homer smeared an ice cream cone on the man's face ala "Witness.". As for me, I think zoo animals and other animals shouldn't be teased by anyone.


I agree about that. Or, if you're going to tease and torment animals in the zoo, you should be put in the cage with them before you begin. Wanna torment the Rhino? Be my guest, but you do it from up close and personal

And yes, I was thinking of Homer Simpson, but it was the episode where he taunts the Rhinos and they break out of the zoo enclosure and chase him down, as for this story....instant karma

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