Monstrous Customers: "What? is Target a bag-it-yourself store?"



From Joseph, May 2008:

I work at Target. It was January 2007. I'm ringing this guy up, he's at about $150, and I'm placing some pears he has on the scale to weigh them.

It comes out to $1.46.

The guy yells - yes, he yells - "Hey, I saw that! Why don't you take your hands off the scale and run that again!"

I said, "Sir, my hands were nowhere near the scale, but, I'll run it again anyway."

I ring up the pears, with my hands held in the air like I was being robbed.

The price? $1.46.

I let it go, and don't say a thing. Everything is fine until I hand the guy the reciept, saying "Thank you, have a good night sir."

He replies, "What? is Target a bag-it-yourself store?"

I said to him, "No sir, I've bagged them. Target is a put-your-own-bags-in-your-own-cart store."

His face turns red and he asks to see the manager. My line was building up, so i said, "Sir, I have 2 managers, they're both on lane 18. Pick one, and have a goodnight."

He whips back with, "You're somethin' else! I'm never shopping here again!!!"

In a calm voice, I replied, "Well, sir, at least we'll both be happy."

The man looked right at me, turned his head and his cart towards the exit, and walked out. I haven't seen him since, and it's been almost a year-and-a-half.

..and yes, I'm still happy...


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From Restaurant_Slave, March 2010:

Hello RHU world!

Today I bring you a tale of vouchers and gift certificates.
(The following story includes idiot custys trying to use two 10% off meals vouchers on the same bill. And balls of steel to tell them no.)

Roll back to January '11, we offered vouchers to customers for 10% off their meals, to be used before January 31st 2011. It clearly states on the vouchers that they were for one food bill only and one per customer, they also have no monetary value.

Now, every time I offered someone one of these vouchers, I always told them the rules so they knew. Most people were fine and remembered...some didn't.

Cue a table of 4 that were booked in, had their meals and drinks, everything was fine for them. Here's the kicker, they were friends of the boss (bossman told me himself he knew them personally). Now I'm pretty sure all of you fellow slaves know how entitled custys can be when they know the bossman/woman. These people were no different.

They come up to my little desk to pay their bill, ask what their total is, I tell them and hand over their copy of the bill so they can see for themselves. Instead of nicely putting the voucher in my hand, they toss 2 vouchers in my general direction without so much as a "oh, by the way I have a voucher". For some inexplicable reason my temper is pretty short these days (must be the years of dealing with idiots), and I may have been a little bit rude back to them.

Me: "I'm sorry sir, but you can only use one of these vouchers, it does clearly state on the bottom one per food bill" (I had moved slightly backwards at this point nearer the telephone as the guy's face had gone from happy to 'you fucking what?!' in seconds)

Idiot: "but we've come as couples and we want to pay separately with these vouchers. You should have made us separate bills!"

Jason 026a

Me: "I'm sorry, but because you did not tell me when you first came in that you wanted separate bills, I did not write out separate bills, I do not write out separate bills unless I am asked. I'm not a mind reader. Now I will accept one, and only one voucher. You will have to pay the rest of the bill in money."

Idiot "Well I don't like your attitude. I know Bossman he said I could use both of them, and he will not be happy that you will not accept our second voucher."

Me: "Go right on ahead with that, I'll just go get him" (he was in the kitchen, I went and explained the situation to him and he said to just keep telling them only one voucher)

Me: "Bossman has told me he has not said anything of the sort, and that you can use one of the vouchers, as I have repeatedly told you. So please hurry up and pay, you're holding up my restaurant, I have customers waiting to be served which I cannot do at the moment."

Idiot "Chuntering away under his breath - something about 'stupid idiot girl, doesn't know what she's doing' "

I ignore his chuntering and steady stream of swears, make him fork over the money and voucher for the bill (I had deducted the 10%), I see him trying to make a grab for both of the vouchers back, so I grabbed one of the vouchers and scrawled in huge black letters VOID. Gave him a sickly sweet 'I secretly want to kill you' smile, handed him back the still valid voucher, put the money in the till and went to serve my customers.

Jason 023

As I was serving customers, I thought he was finally gone, he shouted from the doorway "I'm not giving you a tip, you're a stupid uneducated cow".

I tried to resist the urge to shout back, it failed.

M: "I'm not uneducated, I have 7 GCSE's from A to C, and 5 A Levels, and I'm going to Oxford."

His face dropped.

Sorry that it was so long, I felt that everyone should laugh at his incompetence.


BTW RHU'ers...

I'm not really going to Oxford, I told him that for the funsies :)

--Restaurant_ Slave


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Retail Balls Awards: Hotel Customer Gets Told



From December, 2010:

The hotel manager in this story gets a Retail Balls Award for their swift and supportive action in dealing with a homophobic asshole customer:

Hey RHU,

It's Dan and I'm back at the Front Desk. I had left the hotel to lease apartments because the hotel is a good half-hour away and this leasing job was right out my front door (literally...I was leasing apartments in my own apartment complex). Because of the wonderful training I had in how to lease apartments I became frustrated to the point of tears (I have anxiety attacks when I don't know what I'm doing...wonderful when what I'm doing is my only source of income, right?)

Anyhoo, my FOM gave me my job back and let me tell you...I appreciate this job so much more just because I know what I'm doing and I'm good at it.

Back to the story at hand...I got called a fag at work, RHU. I'll be honest, it's the first time in my 21 years of life that it was said with such hate and to my face.

I've had it said behind my back once before, but when I turned around and said "Excuse me, what did you say?" the douche-tard shut his vomit-hole.

When this happened, I was so taken aback. Our hotel has a policy that requires people checking in to provide their credit card and picture ID. When Mr. H came up to me, he told me he didn't have his card, but asked if we could charge to the one that was on file. (We only do that for the highest tier of our loyalty program. He was the bottom tier.)

Me: Sorry, I would need to have the card to I can swipe it.

Mr.H: Well if my girlfriend comes and gives you her card, can you just charge the one that's on file?

Me: No, I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.

He goes away and gets on his phone, so I continue to play Freecell on my computer because it's the only game that isn't blocked (and it's awesome). He comes up again maybe half an hour later with his girlfriend to check in.

OCTOCAROL 336Mr.H: So I called THEM and they charged my card for the room and they said all I had to do was show my ID. 

I assume by "Them" he meant Schmilton, so I check the reservation, and instead of "Guarantee by Credit Card" his reservation noted "Full-Prepayment" which solved half of his problem and caused all of mine. See, even if the room is prepaid we still need a credit card for incidentals (room service, phone, etc;).

Me: Okay it looks like the room has been payed for, I'll just need a credit card for incidentals.

Mr.H: Did you not listen to me? I already payed for the room, they told me all I needed to do was show my ID.

Me: I agree that the room was paid for, but I still need a card for incidental charges.

Mr.H: Listen to what I'm saying. I don't have a credit card on me, is there a manager here I can speak to?

Me: I'm the only one here to assist you at the moment, and that doesn't change the fact that our hotel's policy is to collect a credit card upon check in.

Mr.H: So what do you want me to do?

Me (at this point, I'm shaking from frustration): I want you to come back with either a credit card or cash to leave as a deposit.

Mr.H: Fuck you, fag!

At this point, he picks up his bags and storms out with his ugly girlfriend in tow.

Me: Have a great night! Jason 024

It was the only come-back I could think of at the time. I honestly wanted to incite him to come back because then I would get the pleasure of calling the police to escort him off property and issue a no-trespass warrant. Alas, the only thing I could do at that point was call my FOM who went livid.


I <3 her. I ended up calling the loyalty program's Guest Assistance hotline and had them mark in his profile about being abusive to hotel staff, that way people are aware. And my FOM get's the task of sending him a letter telling him he is no longer welcome back on property, lol.

So yeah, pretty intense moment. All I want to say is that I love my job even more because my manager will go to the ends of the earth for me and the rest of the team =D


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Electronics Store Hell: Best Bastard's Douchebag Customer of the Week


Besdouche2 From Best Bastard:

Been in retail/customer service since I was 13. Everything from paintball field management/customer service, retail sporting equipment store manager, IT support and now.... Best Buy.


I've got stories out the ass but I'll start with a quick one that took place today. The Computer section of BBY was PACKED. We had, what, 4 employees on the floor (2 of which actually DO their job) and over a few dozen customers.

My manager was helping a couple when ENTER ENTITLED, ARROGANT, DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK (and quiet, mousy, somewhat unresponsive wife).

I had just finished helping a nice older lady find a netbook for her grandson, when a manager walked over and asked me if I was free. I said yes (MISTAKE). She points him out and says, simply "He needs help."

Oh, how right she was. I saunter over and...

Me- Good morning sir, anything I can help you out with?

DBAG- (steps over to crappy gigantic 18in Toshiba) Get me this one.
Me- Alright sir, did you want anything with your laptop today? Microsoft Office, Optimization and Antivirus are all very common addon purchases with laptops.


Jason 029zMe- Ok then, I'll just grab the keys from my manager and we will pull out your laptop.

DBAG- (sigh) Fine.

I hurry to find the manager because I know how precious his time is and I just want to throw him to the front registers and have them ring him out so I don't have to deal with him anymore. I actually get the keys really quickly (in under a minute), unlock the case, pull out the laptop, return the keys (as per SOP) and return to the customer.

Me- Alright sir, I've got your Toshiba right here. Did you want to grab anything else such as an external mouse, keyboard or carrying case?


See this is where I made my mistake. Instead of just taking him to the front registers for him to check out, I decided to be nice and ring him out in the back to avoid the huge line in the front of the store.

Me- Well, it looks like the line is really long out front, I'll ring you out back here so you can avoid it.

DBAG- ...

I ring up the items as fast as possible and, as per BBY SOP, offer our extended warranties.

Me- Have you heard of our protection plans for laptops?

DBAG- Stop offering me things.

Me- Ok, then.

Oh God, please let's just finish this.

Me- Your total comes to $xxx.xx, is that card debit or credit?

DBAG- Credit.
(swipe, ID check then that EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG wait before it pops up....... APPROVED! YES! OH GOD YES THANK YOU!)

Then, it happens. Receipt. Paper. Jams.



Me- I do apologize, sir. Our machine seems to have jammed, I'll just print your receipt from another machine, I'll be right back. Once again, I do apologize.

I run, not walk. I RUN to the next register, type in the halfway printed receipt code, print the receipt and return in less than a minute. I DARE anybody to beat that time.

Me- Here you ar--

DBAG- You forgot to ask for my Reward Zone card.

Me- Oh, I'm sorry but that's no problem. Just go to an--

DBAG- You know what?! FORGET IT. JUST FORGET IT.  (Gathers crap and leaves)

Phew! He's gone. But wait! There's more! THERE'S ALWAYS MORE.

Apparently, he went up to our security desk complaining about us. So, LP called our manager up and the conversation went something like this...

DBAG- Every single one of those people working in computers is completely incompetent. They're all idiots! Especially that one red-haired guy (guess who that was...), he had to ring me up three times before he got it right! I can't believe this! This is unacceptable!

Awesome Manager- Sir, I do NOT appreciate the way you are speaking about my employees. You will show them respect, they do a wonderful job.

DBAG- (grumble grumble grumble) I'm never coming here again!

He then tries to "storm out" while the spider-wrap security device is still attached to his laptop... He sets off the alarm which alerts LP and he gets to spend the next few minutes waiting for them to deactivate everything while everyone in the store watches =D

--Best Bastard







Retail Balls Awards: Donation Jar Thief Gets Told



From Lexi, January, 2013:

So I’ve worked in food service for 7 years so this might be the first of many stories, however this is one that sticks out first.
I work at your standard pizza restaurant and it was close to Christmas so we were taking charity donations that month. We actually had a donation cup on the front counter in lieu of a tip jar. One late night a guy comes in to order and I am by myself making food. I go to make his order when I see out of the corner of my eye him grabbing the cup and pouring out some money and counting it out for himself. Then he tells me he wishes to order a soda. I calmly inform him that the cup he just grabbed all his money from was not a leave-a-penny take-a-penny jar and that he just stole it. He makes a nasty face at me but returns a pile of change. Then he pulls out his wallet and places a five on the counter. I take it and he snaps at me, “Did you just snatch from me?”.  I should explain that it is Saturday night at 2am and I’m not in the mood so I replied without thinking, “Well you steal from children with cancer.” He immediately starts sputtering that he doesn’t steal and a myriad of other defenses then throws his five in the donation cup and storms out. His friend picks up his food later. I consider it a win overall.

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