Monstrous Customers: Brittany's Retail Hell Hour


M3201ab_2From Brittany in Maryland, March 2008:

I had an hour straight from Retail Hell today.

First I got Satan's Wife. She comes in at least once a week and acts like a total bitch, talking down to me and throwing attitude like she's fuckin' Ursala the Sea Witch.

Today she got all pissy because she wanted an outfit in a kid size and it's only available in baby size. I explained to her that it's only for babies. It doesn't come in kids sizes.

She stared at me like I had four heads and said, "I know you must have the size I want? Can't you get me the size I want? I'm sure it must come in the size I want."

I stared back at her like she had six heads and said, "It does not come in kids size."

Then she said, "I bet there's one hiding in the back that you don't know about. There's always something in the back." I'm like what the fuck? Will you please just stop. What am I supposed to do? Open a sweatshop in the stock room and sew up whatever you ask for on demand? What the fuck do you want me to do?

So I attempted to show her something else and she continued to act like Satan's Wife, only now horns had sprouted. She was a complete stark raving psycho bitch the rest of the time she was in the store by constantly snapping at me, complaining about all the merchandise, tossing clothes at me like I was her maid, asking for everything on sale, and yelling from across the store like some kind of Viking Ship slave driver.

Finally Satan's Wife makes her selections and I get her to the register and she goes ballistic on me cause she didn't want to open a store credit card. I'm sorry, but it's my job to ask. I have to! Just say no. Don't give me a fuckin speech about your credit score, cause I really don't care. Through all her bitchin', I kept my cool and killed her with kindness. I should have gotten an I Waited on Satan's Wife and Survived T-shirt. Why do people have to be so mean and crazy?

MonsterI was so glad she left and barely got a sigh of good riddance, when a total Cell Phone Monster reared her ugly face yapping loudly on her cell phone and dragging two kids with her. The entire time she was there, she ignored the kids as they proceeded to mess up everything they touched. She was just as bad; talking away, grabbing clothes and throwing them down. I asked her 4 times if she needed help with a size and she kep saying no, "I'm just looking," while yanking clothes from the bottom of a stack and instantly unfolding three or four items. What I Really Wanted to Say was, If your just looking, why the fuck do you feel the need to pull an item from the bottom of a stack you inconsiderate pig. Within 10 minutes she had managed to unfold most the store while her demon children were literally running around screaming, throwing clothes like confetti, and swinging off of floor fixtures. I was at the breaking point. Close to rampage. It looked like a tornado had come through the store and leveled the place.

Then the Cell Phone Monster and her devil spawns left without buying anything (thank god), only to be replaced by another Weirdo Customer who wanted to be rung up immediately. I took her over to the register while I was still fuming over the store destruction and rang up $525 worth of tiny baby clothes (that's a shit load of baby clothes). Well this nutball yanks out a wad of cash and proceeds to pay me in $5 bills. AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! I can't believe all this went down within an hour. That was it it. I'd had enough. I went on break and had someone else clean up the mess. I'd had enough of monsters and devils for the day.











Monstrous Customers: Trying to help but you clearly don't want it. Thanks for the abuse, enjoy your phone robot hell.



From  u/TinHawk Tales From Retail:

I work in a big box electronics retail store. I recently got stuck answering phones.

Me: Thank you for calling [electronics retailer], how can I help you?

Customer, very loud voice, clearly frustrated: is this [tech support company who works in the store]?

Me: No, sir, this is [electronics retailer], but [tech support company] is in the store here. Maybe I can help. What's the issue?

(90% of these issues don't need to be transferred)

Customer screams the name of the tech support company in my ear.

Me: Sir, in order to get you to the correct person, I need more info. What's going on?

Customer screams the name of the company again, slower and louder in my ear.

Me, done completely with this guy, transfers him to the corporate robot line.

Moral of the story: look, I'm a human. I get you're frustrated, but i don't deserve to be treated like that. Especially since i had literally zero to do with why you're upset. If you treat people in customer service like they're idiots or less than humans, you're going to be forced to talk to robots instead. And that tech support robot is the actual worst.

Update: He called back today and did it again. I wonder how many times we will do this dance, sir.





Monstrous Customers: Guy thinks I disrespected his wife



From u/mbbcx1  Tales From Retail:

So this happened yesterday. I had been working at a clothing store in the mall for about a month now and currently loving it surprisingly. My job is great when it comes to coworkers, bosses and hours but the customers, as always, are tempermental.

So yesterday I had started my shift and my normal routine is check on fitting rooms, circle floor, register, go backs, repeat. So as I was checking the fitting rooms I knock on the door with my key (keep in mind that my head pokes over the door a bit so it looks like I'm looking in but I usually look at the door knob) and ask of the woman was alright, she gave the generic response of yes I am and I move on.

After an hour I am at the fitting rooms again, about to unlock one for a nice old lady, when the big guy comes up with a woman behind him with a 'not again' look. He looks angry so I put on my retail smile and ask him,

"Hi there, is there something I can help you with?" He just glares at me and growls.

"Hey man, that was really disrespectful towards my wife earlier!" At this point my smile almost faulters out of confusion.

"I'm....sorry sir, I don't understand what you mean" his face turns red after I say this.

"You looked at my wife while she was changing! Wouldn't you be mad if I did that to your wife!?" He is yelling at this point with his wife looking really embarrassed and giving me a apologic look.

I just take a deep breath and say, "Sir I can for a matter of fact say that I have no interest in that, I simply checked on her earlier and my head tends to poke over the door." He doesn't like my answer. At this point my patience is thin. I used to be in the military so I can't handle it when peopme are beijg disrespectful to me.

He then proceeds to scream at me while I just stood there with a smile. My manager came over and asked about the situation. He gives his version then I give mine, he then calls me a liar. Before my manager could respond the wife stepped in.

"Ok, this is way too embarrassing. Sorry about my husband he can be very protective." She said towsrds my manager and I. "AJ, we need to leave, now!" She said the last word while glaring at him.

At this point the man looked really confused and you could tell the glare was some sort of signal to him. They left after that, my manager just sighed, patted my shoulder, and walked off. After that my coworkers were just laughing and joking about it whenever we had no customers in the store.

So yeah, I got chewed out for nothing, a normal day in retail.






Bakery Hell: Why do people think we can just give out stuff for free?



From  u/That_1bitch Tales From Retail:

I work at a bakery and most of our regulars are really nice, and i enjoy talking with them, but theres one guy whos rude and pissy every time he comes in.

A little context: we have a sale on our donuts and muffins at the end of the night because we throw them out after we close. (sale starts at ten, we close at 11). You can get 6 donuts, or 4 muffins for like $3.50. This is a steal because otherwise it would be like $8 and change.

I have a few regulars come in for this sale pretty frequently, one of which is this old man. Ill call him OL. Im already on his bad side because ive refused to give him the sale early before. He comes in often, he knows it starts at 10. I have no idea why hed come in a half hour early for it. The most i do for people is give the discount ten minutes early but not any more than that.

Anyway, OL comes in, takes forever to look at the muffins we have. Picks out four and then an extra one, so he has five in total, also grabs a bottle of milk. I ring him up and it comes to $7 and change, i tell him his total.

OL: $7?? what the hell? Come on now! Why is the total so high?

I print the reciept and check it, the total sounded about right to me but it is possible i made a mistake. Nope. Theres the 4 muffin sale, one extra muffin, and a bottle of milk. I hand him the reciept to show him.

OL: why are you charging me extra?? This is so expensive!

At this point I'm confused, I know he knows the muffin sale is four of them, not five. He comes in often and when he ordered he said he wanted the fifth one as an "extra" one. So I reference the receipt again and tell him the total is correct.

OL: people here usually give me the extra one for free! You cant just give it to me!?

I wanna make it clear, theres only one person who gives it to him for free, and that guy only works out front a couple times a week. No one else does this. Hes extremely rude and sarcastic every time he comes in, and honestly if he was nicer i probably would have thrown it in for him, but fuck that guy.

So I tell him I can't do that, its against the policy, etc etc. He gets pissy, tells me to put it back, goes on this rant about how we're forcing him to go someplace else (good luck finding somewhere thats gonna give you free food buddy) starts slamming his money on the counter and storms out.

I am just baffled that the most rude and sarcastic customer I have would expect me to give him stuff for free. If you want something from somewhere you have to buy it, it's that simple.






Monstrous Customers: “I can do it on my own!!”



From u/jites2014 Tales From Retail:

Today, a man with a basket filled with a few things came through my line. I quickly ring them all through like I’m supposed to and give him his total and he runs his card. I hit the button for cards and turn to sack his four items.

I hear his card get declined on my side of the register and turn back to see he’s accidentally pushed ‘no’ when the card reader asks if the amount is okay.

I simply say, “sorry, it looks like you pushed the wrong button. I have to have you run your card through once more.”

To which he armors his arms around the card reader and angrily says “I can do this on my own, thanks!”

Apparently you can’t, sir, because you wouldn’t have pushed the wrong button to begin with if you could do it without me.

On top of all of that, I hand him his receipt with a smile and a thank you and he crumples it up and throws it on the floor. Jerk.

It’s people like him that make me want to be able to pick up the receipt off the floor and throw it right back at him.







Monstrous Customers: My No is still a No even after your tantrum



From u/bunnymagics Tales From Retail:

I've never had a story I've felt was really worthy of this sub before but after what happened tonight, I'm still kind of shook up, so I thought I'd share and hopefully calm myself down a bit.

I'm a front end supervisor at my store and that puts me over the returns/money services we do for customers as well as over the actual checkouts. Tonight the store really slowed down after about 8:30, and I was chatting with one of the returns associates, we'll call her B, when a customer walked up. He seemed friendly and all so after greeting him and directing him to my associate, I wandered off to check on my cashiers.

Just a minute later, B flagged me back down to her but met me halfway-- something they do often at the desk, so we can be apprised of a situation without an audience of whatever angry customer is waiting. The Friendly Guy wanted a paycheck cashed-- but this one happened to be dated for tomorrow, unfortunately. I assumed B just wanted me to tell the customer myself and went to the desk figuring it'd be easy enough. He was friendly enough a moment ago, after all. Boy was I wrong-- on both counts, sadly.

When I got to the counter and launched into the Postdated Checks explanation, FG's whole demeanor changed. He started cussing and yelling-- and then begging us to just cash the f-ing thing. I explained again that we couldn't, causing more of the aforementioned cussing and yelling.

And then it happened: the customer threw his phone at me.

It landed behind me somewhere, just barely missing me, and at that point I was honestly scared. I've been in retail for almost four years* and I've never had a customer throw something at one of our employees. The rest of that interaction was kind of a blur-- more cussing and yelling, the phone retrieved and thrown again, and then finally, blissfully, the customer just left, probably because despite being extremely freaked out, neither B nor I were budging on something that would get us in serious trouble.

B was as shocked as I was, but definitely more together because she's the one who reminded me this warranted a call to AP. They pulled video, I calmed down, and my closing shift resumed-- tills to pull, cashiers to send to break, etc.

Thankfully, FG didn't come back, but I made sure B was walked out to her car, because you just never know.

edit: I've definitely cried more than four tears over this job, but I've had almost four years in hell because of it.