I.D. Hell - It Protects My Identity, Even When It Doesn't


This story was originally posted on December 11, 2009


Amusement park hellA rant from a Themepark Slave:

I'm only seventeen, and yet I've already seen lots of Retail Hell.

I previously worked as a photo person in a drugstore, that was a whole different level of hell... but now I find myself in Themepark Hell.

I work at one of the smaller parks in a large chain, but I am not employed by the chain itself. I work for the annoying people asking for your picture every time you walk 5 feet.

This specific story comes from my new location - Santa's Workshop.

Not only do we have a complete diva Santa, the customers are bitchier than ever.

I'm used to the abuse when I'm on camera, and I'm okay hearing about our "outrageous" prices.

I am not, however, used to being told I should put my job on the line for a bitchy customer.

I've got a pretty heavy line, so I'm moving quickly.

I had just printed this custy's photos and was in the process of ringing her out.

Carolanne and thenShe hands me her card and it's unsigned.

I ask for ID and she looks at me as if I've completely offended her.

"Everyone else in the park has taken it without question."

"Well, then they're all doing it wrong. It is my company policy and park policy to get ID."

She looks completely aghast and then decides she's going to go "run and get cash".

I never saw her again the rest of the day.

I hear all about how it helps to prevent "identity theft"..... sure it does, WHEN YOU JUST TOLD ME NO ONE ELSE IN THE FUCKING PARK ASKED FOR ID.

Way to protect your identity, bitch!

--Themepark Slave


Read more I.D. Hell stories here!





Barista Hell: The Price increases are because you're trying to nickel and dime us!


Carolanne 038

From November, 2010:

Hey y'all! LaughingBarista here again with a blast from the past.

After reading Denim Bitch's story about a bitchy custy who got pissed about something that Denim Bitch clearly could not control, I was reminded of a similar story of my own from a few years ago.

Do you all remember the summer of 2008? You know, the summer where gas prices were obscenely high (I remember paying $4+ a gallon) and everyone bitched about it? Let's take a trip to that summer.

So I'm working at Dunkin' Donuts and to accommodate everything that was going on in the economy we decided to raise the prices of everything. Nothing too ridiculous (most coffee maybe increased by $0.20 at most) and most people didn't even notice it.

Except for Stupid Old Man (SOM).

It's a busy day at the drive-thru and I was cashing people out. A few people had commented on the inflated prices and my usual response was along the lines of "That's the economy for you!" SOM was not having that.

SOM: Why did the prices increase?

Me: The economy's been pretty bad lately so we're trying to make up for the increased prices we pay for things by slightly increasing the prices of our products. We need to make back the money somehow.

SOM: Don't blame the economy on this! You know it's because you're trying to nickel and dime us!

Me: I'm certainly not trying to nickel and dime anyone. I don't own any Dunkin' Donuts and I think it stinks that we have to raise the prices but it is because of the economy.

SOM: That's crap.

Me: No, it's not. You know how gas prices have increased exponentially? Have you ever seen our 18-wheelers that deliver all of our products to us (I was referring to the trucks that deliver everything from cups to coffee beans to collector's mugs)? Those cost hundreds of dollars to fill and they come here twice a week. Before they come here they come from another place which means that they have to travel which in turn costs a lot of money. Then our coffee is flown in which also costs a ridiculous amount of money. So yes, the increased prices are a direct result of the bad economy right now.

SOM: *grumble grumble grumble*

Me: Have a nice day!

Any of you have any stories where you were blamed for something that was clearly out of your control?

How did you respond? [read the responses here]



read more Barista Hell tales here









From November 2010:

Hellgreens_Slave gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to a bitchy coupon custy attempting to bully her into breaking the rules:

Hellgreens_Slave here with another fun tale.

So a few weeks back I was closing and the woman in cosmetics pages me over to her register for a return.

Before I go further I have to explain something: Hellgreens finally came out with an official coupon policy in August.. in the policy it states "coupon cannot exceed item value" which simply means you (the consumer) must pay sales tax (if applicable) and we cannot modify the face value of a coupon (like if the coupon is for $1 we cannot enter it as 99 cents) so keep this in mind.

So the lady had purchased some gum that's normally $1.79 but that week it was on sale for $0.99 with the coupon in our flyer.

She didn't have the flyer but used a $1 manufacturer coupon so she paid 79 cents for this gum.

But then on her way out the store she happened to look at the flyer and saw the coupon to make the item 99 cents.

Now we allow customers to use both store & manufacturer coupons- however it's one coupon per qualifying item and again the coupon cannot be worth more then the cost of the item.

So she wants an exchange over less than a dollar. OCTOCAROL 042

Whatever- people are cheap, I smile and comply.

Except I had blindly walked into the exchange so I saw her $1 MFC and the store coupon making the gum worth $0.99.

I then explained to the woman that I could not do the transaction because with the gum now being priced at 99 cents the POS would not let us accept the coupon.

I apologized for the inconvenience but stated our coupon policy and thought the woman would understand.


Why would a customer understand anything that means they won't get the item for free?! LOL

She flipped- she started bitching that she should get the item for free, that I was ripping her off, that she's a regular shopper at this store and that I was being unfair and that the grocery store across the street would modify the coupon for 99 cents.

So, being the logical thinker I am I said, "So why don't you just go purchase the gum at the grocery store? Since they'll modify the coupon for you to get the item for free when you know our company policy prohibits coupon fraud like that?!"

To that she replied, "That comment was uncalled for!"

I laughed and told her that her rudeness and cheapness were uncalled for, and that how dare she consider herself a loyal customer if every time I've seen her being rung up she's always paid less than $5 for over $40 worth of stuff. lol OCTOCAROL 049

I wish I could burn every single last MFC before people bring them into the store.

People who abuse the MFC make me sick!

The woman also claimed she was going to call my boss but didn't ask for my name.. but when she called I answered the phone & pretended I was another manager and that I would "Give that other female manager a stern lecture."


Oh and PS:

While my store just got done setting X-Mas we don't play X-mas music for another 3 weeks.

It's 49 days til X-Mas and I was in Kohl's earlier and they were blasting it like it's going out of style!!!

What is up with these companies! lol

It seems like X-Mas is being forced upon us earlier this season then last year..


read more Retail Balls Tales here






Monstrous Customers: "Is she stupid?"




From RHUer, February, 2010:

Hey, so I work at a really well known craft store as a supervisor, and I've honestly never had a terrible customer until today.

So, I was ringing people up on the only open register, and I'm trying to go as fast as I can so no one gets upset.

A woman (who, by the way, already seems disgruntled) comes up with fake flowers as well as one glass vase and one metal vase.

Now, our scanners can be super-sensitive and scan things twice sometimes without even realizing it. This happened to this woman's large metal vase, but wasn't noticed until after she already paid.

So, I apologized and said I'd take the extra charge off and it would go back onto her credit card. Most people have no problem with this.

But no, this woman was obviously upset, but let me do the transaction anyway. About half way through the transaction, she moves her arm, and the METAL vase falls to the floor.

It makes a lot of noise, but other than that is fine, and I even offer to go get a new one in case there is any damage done.

This makes the woman incredibly angry (but still calm). She then turns to her husband and says, "First you charge me twice and then you drop it on the ground. Is she stupid?"


The scanner is overly sensitive and you can't move your stuff so I can put the vase somewhere AWAY from the scanner, knock your OWN vase over, and then ask if I'M the stupid one???

After I, along with the other 4 customers in line, hear this, and I immediately stop my bullshit sunshine-happy attitude, and finish the transaction as emotionless as possible.

After I fix the problem, I again apologize for dropping the vase and it scanning twice on accident, and she asks for my name so she can go complain about me.

The next customers were incredibly nice about it and even told me that the woman must have been stupid because I was doing such a great job, and even told one of my managers so when I explained what had happened.


read more Monstrous Customer Tales here

and Craft Store Hell stories here








Bookstore Hell: Crazy Pretentious Bitch Encounter


Freddybook From Peach, February 2010:

So I've been reading over some of the stories on here, and finally decided I needed to contribute. So here is a tragic story of the stupidity, pretentiousness, and impolite behavior we all face on daily basis, all rolled into one. 

I was having a pleasant day at the bookstore I slave away in for 20-30 hours every week. I was at the registers, doing my thing, when a woman comes up to my reg empty handed. I smiled and asked what I could do for her, and looking back, I'm wishing I had just walked away. There was no way for me to know this would be the longest transaction in the history of all transactions.

She just stood there, staring at me expectantly, so, confused, I asked her again what I could do for her. 

She says: You put a stack of books on hold for me a week ago.

I blink. Not only is it silly to expect me to remember your face from a week ago, there is another problem; we have a fairly strict policy that allows us to only hold books for twenty four hours. 

Me: I can definitely check under your name to see if they're up here, but our policy says we can only hold books for twenty four hours.

Crazy Pretentious Bitch: You told me you could hold them till I came back into town this week.

Me: That's not our policy, however I understand that there may have been a misunderstanding. I'll check.

CPB: *snort*

So I check to see if this lady's books are behind the counter even though I know they won't be. Alas, sometimes I hate when I'm right. So I oh so apologetically inform her that they are not here, but that I will gladly find someone to help her track down the books again. This is where it starts to get ridiculous. She glares at me and scoffs.

CPB: Well, what books were they?

I am speechless. I figure I must not be understanding the question. She can't possibly expect me to remember what books SHE put on hold a week ago. That can't possibly be it. I stare blankly at her for a moment while I try to grasp what other possible meanings that question could have. Jasonreadinghell

CPB: You can't expect me to remember what books I put on hold. I don't remember, that's why I put them on hold! So I could just come back and pick them up! Are you telling me you don't know what books I put on hold??
Me: ... ma'am, I don't keep track of the books put on hold. However, I am always sure to remind our guests that we only hold books for twenty four hours. I'm sorry that there seems to have been a misunderstanding. If you can think of any of the books you put on hold, as I said, I will gladly have someone help find them for you.
CPB: I just wanted to stop by quickly to pick up the books YOU told me would be held. YOU were the one that did the transaction and I watched YOU put them on hold. Don't you remember?

I lie and tell her that I do in fact remember, but that this does not change the fact that our policy is that we only hold books for twenty four hours and that I have never told any customer anything different.

At this point, she is enraged. Why she can't remember a single book from the pile she had me put on hold is beyond me. Why she expects me to remember them if she can't is another story. I've held it together fairly well and, while I've lost my sugary smile, I am still calmly and politely dealing with her douchebaggery.

She grudgingly decides she will go look for the books, and with a sigh, I am content that the ordeal is over. Oh how I was wrong.

Approximately half an hour later, she is at my register once again with a pile of books. I smile and begin her transaction, falsely assuming that there will be no more hitches, and this lady will be out of my hair in a matter of moments.
CPB: I also have the Corporate Card for my 20 percent discount.

Me: ok, great! Can I see your card so I can scan it please?

CBP: I don't have the card anymore, remember? Last time you had to have someone find the number for it. So just put in the number.

Me: Well, I don't have the number on me, and our other associates are rather busy. If you'd like to start the process to start a new card, we can do that for you so that your future transactions will go much more smoothly.

CPB: You just did this a week ago, just put the number in that you looked up then.

Me: *staring blankly* ...ma'am I can't remember a sixteen digit number that we looked up a week ago. 

CPB: This is getting ridiculous. After we're finished here, I'd really like to speak with a manager, this whole experience has been incredibly inconvenient. 

Me: The process for looking up card numbers is very time consuming, and technically, we're not even suppose to do it. It's against our policy. We did it for you last time because we understood that you recently lost your card, however, it's not something we can do on a regular basis, and considering I can't remember sixteen digits from a week ago, I'm afraid I can't give you the discount.

Of course she wailed about wanting to speak to a manager, and my spineless GM ended up forcing another associate to help me look up this ladies card number so that we could give her the discount. The other associate went into the back room, and spoke to me via radio to get the information we needed to find it.
Me: She needs to know where you work.

CPB: -blah blah clinic of blah blah city-

After spending ten minutes sifting through possible matches to this company, she reads off the name of the company on the card, and the name of the holder.

I ask the woman if this is her name, and she glowers at me impatiently.

CPB: That's not the company I have the card with, my OTHER job is the company I have the card with.Carolhell


It is now that I begin to lose absolutely all patience with this woman. WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULDN'T YOU GIVE ME THE NAME OF THE COMPANY THAT CORRELATES WITH THE CARD WE ARE TRYING TO LOOK UP?? Really?? Did you think I was asking because I think we get along great?? I just wanted to have a fantastic conversation with you while you stared at me like I was some sort of incompetent insect?? Or are you really THAT stupid?


Of course, because I value my job (actually, all that I really value is my pay check), I said none of this, and instead asked her what company she intended to tell me. She gives me the name of the other company, and we spend another ten minutes looking that up. After finally finding it, I write down the number, type it into the computer for her god forsaken discount and hand it to her.
Me: You'll need to contact customer service to receive a new card, as we will not be doing this for you again. Give them this number so that they can find the account and issue a new card to your company.
I finish ringing up her transaction and hand her the receipt which she scours for (I'm assuming) her precious discount. 

CPB: Why didn't I get a discount on *some fucking item*?

I no longer cared. Pretending not to hear her, I walked away to hide in the sanctuary of the back room for a while. 
Nobody can understand the stupidity of mankind until they have worked retail.
Yours truly,

 Read more Bookstore Hell stories here






Retail Balls Awards: Photo Lab Customer Gets Told


Retailballsjason From Kris, June, 2008:

Dumb Asses at the Bullseye Photo Lab

Dumb Ass: The kiosk won't read my CD.

Me: OK, let's take a look. Well, your disk is severely scratched and the kiosk will not be able to read it.


Me: Ma'am, I'm sorry but the disk is damaged and will not work.


ME: It is not going to work, see the big scratches across the disk. There is nothing I can do.

DA: I want your FUCKING manager.

ME: Ma'am, I am the manager and if I was fucking right now, I would not be able to help you. I'm not taking that language and you can leave now, have a nice day."