Wedding Hell: Trying To Steal The Cutlery

 

Bridezilla 2From grassisntalways, AskReddit

Not a planner, but worked for a catering company.

We catered for super super rich weddings and events. There were a lot of little things that happened at the weddings we did, just rude rich people who thought that because we were the help, we should be treated like shit. The one that sticks out in my mind is a wedding that we did at night.

We had been there for hours, and our duties were done, however we had to clean up, of course to do that we have to gather all plates, cups, silverware, and napkins.

Well this one rich bitch woman had been a piece of work all night. Complaining about everything and just being a pain in the ass. We were all very polite and put up with her, however she refused to give up her place setting. She had all the dishes and napkins and would not let us take it. That meant we were stuck there.

After an hour past when we should have left, we were all just sitting around, exhausted at 12am waiting. Every time this woman would take a step away from her seat, one of us would dash in and grab as much as possible. And every time she would dash back to her seat.

Finally she had only the napkin left...she got up to dance, with the napkin in her hand!

My boss, who was a 65 yr old amazing woman, who was sweet, and wouldn't say a foul word to anyone or do a thing to offend a soul, marched up to this woman, looked her straight in the face, grabbed the napkin, ripped it from her hand, smiled sweetly and wished her an amazing night.

I will never forget the anger and disbelief on that bitch's face. She immediately made a beeline for the mother of the bride, while we all made a run for our cars.

--grassisntalways

 


Wedding Hell: Crazy Ex She-Hulks The Cake At The Married Couple

 

Bridezilla 1From WeddingDonuts

I'm a manager at a donut place and believe it or not, I have a story about a groom who dodged marrying a bridezilla. You're probably confused as to why a donut shop would have anything to do with a wedding, right? Buckle up kids! WOW what a ride!

It's late and we're about an hour from closing (It's 10pm, we close at 11) when I get a phone call... a phone call from a woman who claims to be a wedding coordinator.

Okay...? (Wedding coordinator uses Confusion. It's super effective!)

She says she knows we're probably about to close soon but if we would please, please, please give her just a few minutes of our time, she needs to buy any and all of the donuts she can. She says the cake had been destroyed, and the bride was a huge fan of donuts since childhood, and is willing to substitute. If we're willing to help her out in any way we can, she'll buy everything we have.

Now this could have been a sick (and odd) joke, but there was a note of controlled panic in this woman's voice that told me she wasn't bullshitting me. I said that we were going to close in an hour, but if she could get to the store ASAP, we would work with her.

She arrives within ten minutes (god only knows the speed limits she might have broken). She pretty much wiped out all our stock, and snags the biggest cream puff we had for the 'ceremonial donut,' and as she's getting ready to pay, I ask her to wait just a moment. In a fit of inspiration, I grab some eclairs and write 'Congrats" on one, and "[Name]" And "[Name]" on the other two, and tell her to put them above and below the 'ceremonial donut.' Not fancy, not all that professional a job, but I figured it would be cute and maybe bring a smile to the ceremony.

She thanks me profusely and runs out the door.

Some time passes and a happily married couple comes in, asking for me by name. They're back from their honeymoon, but just wanted to thank me in person for being so accommodating and for the surprise eclairs. It was then that I got the full story:

Jason oopsThe groom had apparently an psycho ex, who some how, some way, found out about the wedding. We're talking crazy as in trying to claim that she's pregnant with his kid a year after they broke up. She had this whole, detailed story that he snuck into her home and got her pregnant one night. DNA tests proved her wrong. When that failed, she became enraged that he was getting re-married! How dare he find happiness with someone other than her!

She storms into the venue, grabs the wedding cake, and chucks it at the newlyweds! I mean she-hulking a beautiful three tier cake! Then, she began screaming how he was a deadbeat dad (to the kid who wasn't his), before grabbing table wine bottles that she smashed on the ground.

Everyone was stunned in shock at first, but the woman was ultimately restrained by the groomsmen. They called the police, and she was charged with assault, assault with a weapon (from waving around a wine bottle and clocking a groomsman,) and destruction of private property (both from the couple and the venue.)

She was also found to have been stalking the groom for months. What a charmer.

The cake couldn't be salvaged, since it was a combination of smashed and pelted with broken glass, but because of the bride's brilliance about the donuts, they celebrated 'cutting the donut' during their midnight lunch. They ultimately enjoyed the remainder of their night, but the bride's gown was destroyed, a good amount of the linens were ruined, and an arrest was made. Memories to last a lifetime!

My whole team got to gather around to see the pictures of what the wedding HAD been, and what it became. I got to see a shot of the cutting, with my eclairs in full view. The wife and hubby are in a shot holding up their own named eclairs with huge grins, and then another of feeding them to each other. (My genius was appreciated! Yay!)

The wife, bless her brilliant, warm soul, is laughing and smiling in all the pictures, even with cake and frosting splattered all over her (once) gorgeous dress. (Later shots have her in casual clothes when her mom raided her suitcase so she could take off the dress.) She said it was going to be one of "those stories" that she's going to laugh about with her kids in years to come.

Somebody please find me a wife with a soul that robust and happy!

--WeddingDonuts

 


Wedding Hell: Several Stories Of Hell

 

Bridezilla 3From Toronto_Planner, AskReddit

I am a wedding/special event planner in Toronto. I own my own planning company, and I have been in the industry for about 8 years.

I have so many horror stories that I don't know which to choose.

  1. I had a bride that openly spoke utter and complete shit about the groom's family (in front of his face). She would say that they were "crazy, unclassy and annoying", and come the wedding, her family was actually the hardest family I ever had to deal with, and the groom's family was absolutely lovely. On top of all this, the bride yelled at all of the vendors all day, resulting in the videographers leaving after just 1 hour of shooting, the photographer cried in the bathroom, and the groom and the bride's cousins apologized to me for her behaviour all night.

  2. I had one horrible bride who I planned an amazing wedding for. She raved about how much she loved the food all evening, but the day after the wedding, she wrote a bad review about the caterer on yelp, and told me she wouldn't remove it unless they gave her a discount. She's a horrible person.

  3. I had one horrific couple that didn't care about anyone. The groom was 30 minutes late for the ceremony, but it was no big deal, because the bride was 2 hours late. After the ceremony, we had to shorten cocktails to make up for lost time. The couple got wasted in their limo, and both ended up falling asleep. They were both so late for their own reception, that I had the venue serve dinner without them. Their parents were furious. The bride's parents left early, and the couple didn't arrive until 11 at night. Half of their guests left before they arrived, and they yelled at me for allowing dinner to start before their arrival. (This was a 400 guest wedding. I don't know about you, but when 400 stomachs start growling, you start looking for ways to stay off the menu yourself.)

  4. I had a really high strung groom who yelled at a one of his young guests (the kid was 12) for sitting out of his assigned seat, and told the kid and his parents to leave. Later at night, the bride's father (who was single) made out with one of the bridesmaids, and the groom punched him. We had to call an ambulance, and the groom was arrested.

--Toronto_Planner

 


Wedding Hell: Maid Of Honor Sabotages Wedding

 

Bridezilla 2From ThaneStaples, AskReddit

I worked in stationery design in the wedding industry a while back. Invites, wishing wells, menus, you name it. If it was wedding related and on paper, we sold it. Some of the customers we got were class act, I can tell you.

The best/worst was a detailed consult with the bride and groom in regards to their invite design. Over the next two personal consults and many phone calls, I primarily dealt with the bride and her maid of honour together.

After the last revision, the maid of honour came in to make a relatively major change, insisting that the bride wanted it that way. Idiot me made the change, and the order went to print.

Well...

Turns out the bride and her maid of honour had a falling out and the maid wanted to get back at her ex-friend. Apparently she had approached several of the wedding services acting as an agent of the bride and pretty much fucked the whole event over...

--ThaneStaples

 


Bridezillas: Running Late, Demanding It be On Time

 

Bridezilla 1From Jawhun, AskReddit

I worked for a few years as a wedding singer.

The worst disaster I've seen was directly caused by a bride being a Bridezilla. If you've ever been to a wedding, you know that weddings run behind schedule. This bride was adamant that everything be exactly on time. Of course, it being a wedding, everything was running behind about 30 minutes. At 7:55, she could no longer handle that the wedding was running late and decided to skip ahead to the Hora (aka the traditional Jewish wedding dance).

The Hora was scheduled for 8:00pm. We (the band) and the wedding planner suggested that we should not skip ahead, but she was having none of it. With her face red with effort, she screamed at us that the hava negila would start at 8:00pm and not a minute later. Well, she was paying us, so we did what we were told.

We started our Hava Negila's at precisely 8:00pm. The guests rose and began to form a circle as they have done countless times before. But something was amiss - the groom was nowhere to be found. The bride was alone in the center of the circle. As if on autopilot, the guests danced and sang on while the bride's expression changed from confused, to horrified, to hysterical. It was a train wreck. They finished the dance without the groom ever arriving.

The bride was sobbing uncontrollably.

The groom was outside having a cigarette, because the wedding was running 30 minutes late. He knew the schedule and thought he had time for the cigarette. In the end, it was the Bride's own stubborn insistence that led to the tragic ending. She was the captain on her own Titanic, and we were the band playing as it sank. I sometimes wonder how that marriage worked out.

My #1 advice to people getting married is to enjoy their wedding day. No matter how much you plan ahead, things will always go wrong. Instead of trying to control and manage everything, spend your wedding day celebrating with your guests. No wedding ever goes perfectly. Considering you ideally only do it once, do your best to enjoy the ride.

--Jawhun

 


Wedding Hell: Ketamine And A Groom Tantrum

 

Bridezilla 3From naedru, AskReddit

I work on a mobile bar that travels to different weddings in our region of the country.

We had this couple who were a bit strapped for cash so we did their wedding for cheap (we normally serve more lavish weddings).

Anyway, they were so nice to begin with but a lot of their guests brought their own alcohol to the venue, which isn't allowed. We confiscated it and promised to give it back at the end. One of these guests was the groom's father who brought a whole keg of ale.

Around 10pm most of the guests were leaving (the party was supposed to go on until 1am) as the bride and groom had been taking drugs (ketamine I think) and were pretty mashed. We weren't selling any more drinks so we decided to leave early, refund the customers a bit of money and leave all the confiscated booze behind.

The bride (who booked us) was cool with this so we proceeded to leave.

The groom was not cool with this.

Just after we packed up he started demanding drinks and the phone numbers of all our female staff - we denied of course as the bar was packed away and nobody wanted to give him their number. Eventually we had packed everything in to my bosses trailer and were ready to leave.

We all ran to he car park as the groom was kicking off by this point and everyone jumped into my boss' car apart from me (as I drove myself). My boss pulls away out if he car park as the groom comes out of the venue and starts hurling chairs at her car and trailer, screaming nonsense and swearing at the same time.

He hadn't noticed me yet. I turned the key in my car (a classic VW Bug) which of course didn't start. He noticed me then. I kept trying the engine and after a few tries it started. I turned on my headlights and there he was. 6'2" of ket-head groom standing with Brock eyes in front of my tiny car.

I couldn't get round him as he kept running in front of me so I decided to drive straight at him and hope he moved out of the way. He didn't. Instead he jumped on to my car and eventually fell off the curved bonnet.

Never looked back. Fuck that guy.

--naedru