Dollar Store Hell: Bad Dad Let's Hellspawn Wreck Displays


Jason 007

From Captain Ham, April, 2014:

I had my first shift in probably WEEKS today, because someone else called in sick and I was the only person to answer their phone.

It wasn't too bad, I didn't mind. I had a pretty awful week and having to be retail happy made me actually happy- several of my favorite coworkers working today helped with that too.

So, it's almost Easter. Story time:

The friggin holiday aisle is 1/3 empty and it's just DESTROYED when I walk in. There were a whole bunch of extra people in today for whatever reason, so everyone who wasn't on cash was cleaning and facing. I took the Easter aisle because I wanted to see what was there; there's small kids in my family, if I can get some tips over to the ol EB on cheap chocolate I will. I spent a solid two hours cleaning and running stuff back- a lot of which had nowhere TO go because it was the last item of its type.

Ok, totally good, its decent and looks presentable. Go help out at cash for half an hour, have some more returns from customers needing three of the same bunny basket to keep the little ones happy and all, and a few more last-one things to find homes for. I go back and do that, straighten up the candy some more as its ransacked.

Hellspawn talesI'm doing my minimum wage thing, guy comes in with his spawn. They're looking up and down the meager Easter offerings left. One kid takes off way down to where the summer stuff is trickling in while the other is touching EVERY basket. Dad sort of meanders through looking at stuff and making a few comments. Literally five seconds after they get in the aisle, the little girl has knocked five baskets on the floor. I am standing less than 5ft away. Dad is RIGHT BESIDE HER SAYING NOTHING. Son is messing around with stickers about mid aisle. Son and Daughter go racing behind me as I'm putting more stuff back up and go dodging around these baskets I'm trying to pick up and starts yanking down ALL of the bunny ear headbands. Like a good quarter of all those headbands come down and make it to the floor and the candy shelf below.

And again, I am STANDING RIGHT THERE with my apron and blatantly putting shit away. And Dad does nothing, says nothing. Kids give no fucks. I just literally stood there so dumbfounded. I put the basket down and walked away. I could not believe this blatant piggy behavior happening RIGHT beside me. I went a few aisles over until I saw them move somewhere else before going back to fix it all.

Literally, what the hell? What the actual hell? If I had been feeling a little snappier and quick witted I would have said something. Hell, if I hadn't been coming from about a solid week of moping around and wondering if I had been fired, I would have said something.

Christmas wasn't even this bad. I swear everyone up here is stir crazy because of the awful winter ending- and they go and take out all that energy being a disaster in my damn store.

--Captain Ham



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Discount Store Hell: Bad Mom Protects Her Thieving Hellspawn


Smoshmess2 From March, 2010:

This is Redheadactress. When I read the story of the person who worked for *Smosh Mess for Less* I knew I had to post. Unfortunately, I also work for Smosh Mess for Less.

And I hate it.

In fact I am currently attending bartending school so I can get away from this crap job. The assistant manager was a racist sexist prick and the coworkers are backstabbers and talk a lot of bullshit in Spanish and think the poor saps who don't speak Spanish can't understand what they are saying. (Boy are they soooo wrong about that) I had been passed over for a promotion I long deserved, but what-the-fuck-ever. I have stopped caring now.

Well recently we had a switch in Assistant Managers and she doesn't take anyone's bullshit so its been a bit better.

But the customers have been worse and worse.

I was doing customer service one night when a woman with three kids comes up, an older girl, a boy around 8, and an infant in a stroller.

The little boy wanted to pay for his toys separately, two WWF action figures, that were 4.99 each. He only had enough money to buy one, in which hearing the news, sat in the middle of the walkway and bawled for 20 minutes. Batspawn2

In the meantime I have other customers who want to check out, my other cashier is on lunch, and the only other person is in the fitting room who can't leave as my manager is doing interviews. (Oh yes, I have been asking for full time and keep getting turned down, but we can hire other people, that's so fucking intelligent!)

So I tell the mother I have to suspend the transaction and take the other people while she gets her son in order. She screams at me for being a racist. (WTF?)

So she gets her son up off the floor and he pays for his one item. However, as I am putting the money in the drawer and getting out the change, I notice both items are gone.

Me: "Can I please have the other figure back?"

Mother: "Now you're accusing my son of stealing?"

Me: "If he took both action figures, yes ma'am I am. He only paid for one."

Mother: "Jimmy, give back the other one, the mean lady won't let you have it."

Me: *thinking* WTF lady!

The child throws the figure at me then goes running outside the door.

I should note that our store is in the middle of a town center where there are other stores and lots of traffic.

HELLSPAWNTALES2This child is now running in and out of traffic.

He almost got hit twice.

Me: "Ma'am your child almost got hit."

Mother: "He will be fine!"

Me: "Please go get your son."

Mother: "You telling me how to raise my children?"

Me: "NO! I am simply telling you that your son could get very hurt."

Mother: "And it would be your fault for accusing him of stealing, you c**t!"

Me: "If you say so!"

Mother: "The customer is always right, I pay your wages! I am never coming back again."

Me: "Ok, have a nice day!" (transaction done).

The other customers in line applauded me for handling the situation with dignity. I apologized for the wait several times. A minute later we hear a crash.

The son that was playing in the middle of the street was hit by a car.

Good thing the car was only going 15 miles an hour at the most, so all he got was a few scratches and bruises, no serious damages.

My manager has appeared at this point and I explain what is going on.

The whole thing was caught on security camera (not the accident) so she believed me.

The woman then proceeds to yell at the driver that the reason he was playing in
traffic was because I accused her son of stealing...right...



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Bad Parents: Vampire Parenting



From: Riferous, March, 2010

I think that there has been a trend in the last couple of decades toward the absolutely ridiculous in terms of what is child abuse and what is good parenting. However, I did recently bear witness to what I would call incredibly horrible parenting.

A woman and her son, he being a mere 3 or 4 years of age, were in my store shopping. The boy had somehow acquired a flashlight, which the mother did not want him to have. She had taken hold of the flashlight and was telling him to give it to her, but he emphatically said "NO!"

I ask of you, the common blogger, whether you have exercised your reproductive capabilities or not, what you would do in the mother's place? Would you decide that this was not a battle that you wanted to fight and let the child keep the precious flashlight? Would you be the bitch and rip the flashlight from the child's hand, risking a raging temper tantrum? Would you apply a firm slap to the back side and then take the flashlight, still possibly inducing the much loved public crying and yelling?

While I would be willing to bet that most of you would choose one of those options or some derivative thereof, this mother did none of the above.

She bit him.

She actually took hold of his arm, raised it to her face, and bit his wrist.

Bad parentsShe then asked the child "Did that hurt?"


What do you think she did next?

That's right, she bit him again. And then took the flashlight from him, inducing the much anticipated screaming and crying that sounds so delightful when coming from someone else's child.

Being that it was not my place to tell this woman how to raise her child, and that I'm sure it wouldn't have changed her parenting methods one iota, all I could do was watch her walk away. Would that I could intervene, raise this child for my own, and maybe screw him up anyway, I'm pretty sure that I would never have bit him.

I don't remember, at least once I got to be school age, being spanked. I was a good kid anyway (and modest too). But I sure as hell never got bitten.

I hope that this mother remembers that she bit her child - twice - when he gets big enough to beat the shit out of her and raid her purse for drug money.



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Game Store Hell Memories with Misty Meanor


Game store 2

From August, 2016:

Yours truly had her first true work experience at a video game store during the holiday rush of 1998. That got me some experience on my resume, and also gave me a little extra spending money for the holidays.  Of course, it gave me a look at the inner workings of the hell known as game stores! It was a fun experience for the most part, but there were some things that really got to me.  What were those things you ask?  Read on!
#1. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Yes, the Zelda game considered by many to be the best of the series.  It's been out for awhile now and many still continue to sing its praises.  Of course, what a lot of people probably will never realize is that there was a major shortage of cartridges back when it first came out.  Me working in a game store made me very painfully aware of this.  We constantly had people asking if we had the game in, and we had to turn them away saying we were sold out and didn't know when we'd be getting more in.  We did have a pre-order binder, though, where you could write your name and phone number and we'd give a call when it was in.
One man, however, was very determined to get himself a copy of the game at any cost necessary.  He came in and claimed that he had a pre-order.  When the manager told him we didn't have any, he claimed that he remembered putting his name in the red binder.  That was when we caught him, because our binder was black, not red.  He continued to insist it was red and that he had put his name down.  Eventually, he got the message that he wasn't going to get it and left, empty-handed.
Eventually, Nintendo of America started making more cartridges available for the general public, while yours truly got her copy for Christmas.  But that was one pain of Game Store Hell that I'd like to forget about!
Game store 1#2. Pokemon - The Craze Begins
Ah, yes, Pokemon.  The craze of catching all of those creatures, while they spread onto your lunchbox, your t-shirt, your pencil box, etc.  At the same time, they've got their own card game, their own television show, you know the rest, right? Well that started in Japan in 1996, but it wasn't until the holiday season of 1998 that it came out in the United States.  Starting with the television show, along with the two Game Boy games, Pokemon Red and Pokemon Blue.
Of course, those sold out like wildfire, and when we got more copies in, they sold out again.  I had people calling in looking for it left and right.  Usually I told them to 'call back Friday.'  But I'm sure at least one person called looking for Pokemon Green! I believe I wanted to tell them, 'We're not an import store!' but I think I just told them, 'Sorry, that one was Japan only.'  I didn't want to lose my job for being sarcastic.
Like Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Nintendo of America started releasing more copies of the games.  I got my Pokemon Blue the following year for my 19th birthday.
#3. Hellspawn
Yes, one thing game stores are known for attracting are hellspawn.  We have the ones who take boxes off the shelves and don't put them back, those who think we're a babysitting service (which is why we had to lock up the controllers for the demo kiosks, because parents would leave their shits there while they went shopping,) and the kids who think they can just ask for whatever they want and expect us to let them play it for free.
Once I watched a child (about 4 or 5 years old) come in with his mother and see a brand new basketball game for the Super NES (this was back when the N64 had been out for a couple of years and the SNES was in its last days.)  When asked how much it was, the person on duty said it was $40, and the mother said the kid didn't have enough.  Of course, children that age don't know their basic numbers yet, so all he heard was the number 'four.'  He proceeded to take out his dollar bills and count to something like eight or nine, then went, "HA!" as if calling his mother's bluff.  The mother replied by writing with her finger, 'four zero.'  Naturally the kid left without his game, but at least he didn't throw a fit about it.
Another time, we had a couple of kids who were like five or six come up with the case for the original Grand Theft Auto (this was 1998, way before the series went 3D,) and one of them said they were going to buy it.  The assistant manager refused, saying that it was not for children.  One of the kids said that the woman nearby (the mother of one of the kids I guess, the other was a sibling or friend maybe?) said that it was OK.  So the assistant manager walked over and showed the game to the woman.  The kids walked out without their game.  No fit here though.
There was a hellspawn explosion that I heard about through my manager.  It was one day, a little kid came in and took a Mortal Kombat 3 Genesis box (the store dealt in used games from classic consoles through the NES) off the shelf and was holding onto it.  The mother said that the kid wasn't getting it, and it took her awhile to get the kid to put it back and leave.  The whole time, the kid was screaming his eyes out.  I don't know the rest of it, but I can imagine the little hellspawn would probably have given me mental scarring for life!
May all your custies respect the ESRB and all that stuff!
--Misty Meanor


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