Crook’d Hearts, Tight Wallets: another day in retail hell

 

Jason 011

From Benjamin Kissell:

 

Picture it: Autumn 2015 …

 

“Boy! Boy, c’mere!”

I look up from my crouch, a box-cutter in my hand; it’s 9:04am on a Monday morning – we’ve barely been open long enough to clear the boxes we’re stocking from the truck into a passable path for shoppers and now? This?

“Boy!”

               A tall, inelegantly draped woman in polyester and rayon – her wish-it-were-ash-blonde hair thrown into the laziest of chignons – snaps her fingers impatiently from eight aisles (some forty feet) away. You have got to be shitting me.

               “Ma’am?” I slip the cutter into my vest pocket and stand up. I’m also trying to keep my tone neutrally audible, non-confrontational but hearable from SUCH A DISTANCE as I begin to pick my way towards her. I’m also trying to avoid the natural impulse to snarkily raise an eyebrow and lower my lips into a disapproving scowl. It’s not easy right now. There isn’t enough coffee coursing through my veins to cope with this for long today.

“Boy,” she continues, snapping again, as I cautiously approach. Custys, and especially entitled ones, in the wild are easily spooked and tend to go immediately on the offensive. Also – ‘boy’? Really?  I’m a dark-haired (usually kempt, but not always), bearded gay man very obviously in his 30’s (despite my best efforts to appear otherwise), and not (generally) easily confused with a diminutive form of a tow-headed youth … even from ruddy forty feet away.

Bless this entitled wannabe rich bitch’s heart.

Jason 009               “What can I help you with?” I ask, as placidly kind as I can muster, approaching her as she stands in the middle of our Fall Seasonal Valley which is filled with faux pumpkins and maple leaves in bright oranges, muted reds and brown-toned golds.

               “Do you have any more of these,” she thrusts an ad copy in my face – our Sunday ads often vie with magazines for their heft and abundance – and points to the Christmas trees display. The photo features a large, pre-lit and flocked tree photoshopped into absolute (unachievable) Winter Wonderland perfection. It also has a bright red-and-white bubble declaring ‘Introducing our newest tree, coming November 1st:  today is October 19th.

               “No, ma’am – I’m sorry,” I try and have a kind tone and apologetic smile as I look her in the (obviously contacts-because-that’s-not-a-natural-shade-of-blue) eyes. “We don’t have those trees in yet – we’re expecting them on one of the coming trucks; either next Monday or the Monday after.” I pause, then continue, “I’m sorry about that,” just to drive home the retail-politeness they brow-beat into us.

               You’d think, from her expression and shift in demeanor, that I’d just slapped her or stabbed her firstborn in front of her before bathing in its blood.

               “Ex. Cuse. Me?”

                “Ma’am?” I’m reeeeeeeally hoping that my irritation bubbling beneath the surface isn’t readable because this woman is working my nerve.

“It’s right here – in. Print. – That you have this tree. Why would you advertise it if you don’t. Have. It?” She speaks in clipped, slow tones as if I were an errant toddler who had just soiled the rug with a mud pie.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you look closely at the ad,” I try to keep a non-toothy smile pasted on my face as I meet her steely, rather inhuman gaze. An old manager drilled into our heads that ‘showing teeth is a form of aggression in the wild; always smile with your whole face, instead’, so I try to smile with my eyes and the freckles and dimples above my beard.

“See, here? There’s an announcement bubble,” I point to the bright spot of color hoping the heat in my cheeks aren’t two more bright spots of color for her to see. “Coming November 1st. We won’t be putting up the Tree Forest until at least next week – we still have so much Fall around,” I gesture to our surroundings with a deferential – and hopefully amused, not irritated – look on my face. “But don’t worry, Christmas is coming.”

She makes a sound that can only be described as a strangled, bitchy sigh.

Excuse me?

What in gay hell? Really?

Jason 008Did this Soccer Mom Custy in wish-it-were-Pashmina with badly-dyed hair (yeah, I said it, so what?) just roll her gotdayum eyes at me? SMIZE Benjamin – like Tyra says. SMIZE.

“Ma’am?” I try and edge concern into my voice, as if I truly care about what’s bothering her; instead of mentally shoving her rude ass off a cliff in my imagination. See, if you aren’t abruptly rude for no reason, retail workers don’t have to fake caring/being nice to you; we actually will be. Instead, we have to fake it for so many, many rude Custys like this – air quotes – ‘kind soul’.

“Let me speak with your manager. This is some false advertising bullshit.”

Oh.

So that’s how this is going to be, is it? Okay.

“I’m so sorry you feel like that. Let me see if our store AGM, Ms. August, is free,” don’t show teeth. Don’t show teeth. Don’t show teeth. Don’t show teeth even if you want to yell at her dumb ass so loudly she cries and curls into the fetal position. Don’t. Show. Teeth.

“August,” I press the microphone on the radio earpiece I’m wearing. “Would you be able to meet a customer at the Fall Seasonal Valley? She has some …” I pause, searching for the right word. “She has some concerns regarding the promotional ad and our Christmas trees.”

“She does know that they don’t go out for another two weeks, right?” August’s sensible and naturally polite voice, thankfully, can’t be heard outside of the crackling earpiece by the Custy.

“I do believe that that may be the root of her concerns – she wanted to speak with you.”

Despite the years of training and her generally sweet nature, I can picture August rolling her eyes with exasperation – I’m pretty sure I can hear the eye roll, actually.

“A-and it’s already one of those days, isn’t it? Of course it is. Let her know that I’m on my way,” her voice takes on that strained, false chipperness retail workers have ingrained and branded onto our souls.

“Ma’am, Ms. August is on her way; I’m sure that she’ll be able to answer your concerns,” I smile and turn away. I’m pretty sure I bared my teeth just as I said that, despite my best efforts, but my giveafuck is suddenly broken.

And it’s not even 9:15 in the morning.

“Well, that was a giant timesuck,” August quietly mutters as she joins me in the Floral Department almost ten minutes later; I’ve done my best to be as far-as-possible from Can I Speak to Your Manager in the vain hope I won’t slip up and tell her to sod off.

“That fun, eh?”

Jason 026“How hard is it to read the bold print superimposed over the picture you’re obsessed with?”

“Judging from that wonderful Custy’s demeanor, I’d say selective literacy is her superpower.”

“With a bonus talent for being both condescending and incredibly obstinate.”

“Wow – we hit the jackpot with her, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, totally,” August starts as our earpieces vibrate.

“I need a sign check,” the nervous voice of our morning cashier carries over the radio, Lily is sweet, but oh-so-young (I guessed her at 12 her first morning – I was only 5 years off) and still easily intimidated by the hellacious attitudes of the Custys. “A customer says that Fall Baskets are supposed to be 50% off, but, it doesn’t ring that way when I scanned it.”

Both August and I turn and look down the adjacent aisle at the display of Fall Baskets.

“Want me to answer or do you?”

“I got the last one, it’s your turn.”

I stick my tongue out, cheekily, at her before answering (as August stifles a giggle).

“I’m over here and the signs say ‘Buy One Get One 50% Off’ – did she get two or just one basket?”

“Okay, hold on,” she’s still holding her mike button down as I hear a tinny, angry voice declare that ‘that isn’t what the sign said’.

“If you want, I can grab a second, cheap, basket and bring it and the sign up to you?”

“Um,” I can hear the indistinct voice of the Custy in the background being abrasive and impatient.

“Just to be safe, I’m on my way,” I roll my eyes to August as we exchange a world-weary look. Okay, not so much world-weary as Custy-weary; asshat-weary; rude-as-all-get-out-people-weary.

 In other words, retail-weary.

I pass several milling customers as I make my way up to the front of the store, all smiles and determined shopping; they’re in their own worlds and happy to be there. Although, I almost stopped in my tracks when I saw the sticky-with-candy toddler holding one of our foam model kid displays – the Haunted Mansion – his mother had pulled down for him to drool and possibly chew on.

Eww. Just plain eww.

Jason 034“Here you go, Lily.” I set down both a small basket and the sign at her register as I pass behind her doing my best to not catch her rude Custy’s eye.

“Oh, of course you’d be the one.”

The way she said ‘you’d’ makes me look up – oh.

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

Don’t show teeth.

“Hullo again.”

It’s the only thing that comes to mind that isn’t a biting retort or scathingly-delivered, profanity-laced rip. So, I continue on past Lily, offering a quick (and hopefully reassuring) shoulder squeeze as I step up to the counter to type my codes into a register.

“I’ll help the next guest on five,” I loudly proclaim and get lost in the queue and shuffle.

If I can ignore her, and the other rude Custys who seem to emerge from the circles of Retail Hell, today, perhaps I’ll make it through this morning and escape without snapping. I’m on autopilot; smiling, scanning, smiling, faux small-talk, smiling, bagging, smiling, and wishing customers a good day out there in the real world when a sharp intake of breath breaks my lack-of-concentration as the last of my customers walks away.

“Excuse me,” a woman with hair the color of sallow dishwater and a sour expression on her face – like she constantly was getting whiffs of sour milk or burnt hair on her upper lip – suddenly stood in front of me. She appeared, like a badly mimeographed apparition.

“Yes, ma’am? What can I help you with?”

That young lady,” she pointed at Lily. “I want to complain that that young lady said these copic markers weren’t on sale, and yet,” she pauses and suddenly glares, all beady eyes and pursed lips, to gesture emphatically with the tin in her hand. “When I went back there, the sign clearly said that the packs were indeed eight dollars and not seventeen.”

She thrusts the package at me.

“Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am – let me scan it and see what’s going on,” I pull the scanner and watch my screen to see what it says.

Jason 028“Ahh, here we go,” I point to the large screen above her head where the results are displayed. “On our side of the screen, until we hit ‘TOTAL’ it won’t show the sale price, but if you look at the price as it shows on your side, it has the sale pri-.”

“Well, why doesn’t it say that on my receipt?” She interrupts. “Eight dollars really is a huge difference in price. It really is – I don’t know why it wouldn’t; that’s such a difference.”

“Well, let me see – we can scan the receipt and return it so that-“

“Oh.”

Her frozen movement reminds me of a computer locking up – she was halfway to handing me the receipt when she simply stops.

“Well then,” she reboots. “It says right here on the receipt the sale price.”

Of course it does.

I really must not show teeth.

“As I was saying, she probably could only see the screen on our side of the register which shows the-“

“See, you were wrong,” she interrupts (again); this time waving the receipt at Lily – her hand inches from Lily’s shocked face. “You said it was full price and it wasn’t. You were wrong.”

“Ma’am, as I was trying to tell you-“

“She really doesn’t know what she’s doing,” she turns back to me, her beady gaze boring into me. “She needs a LOT more training.” If her puckered face could look more like an angry dog’s behind, I don’t want to know.

“As I was saying, she could only see-“

“Eight dollars is really a big difference,” she waves the receipt at both of us as she turns towards the doors.

The line gone, and the queue empty of customers, all we can do, Lily and I, is stare at her as she triumphantly waves the receipt while she walks out into the parking lot. Neither an acknowledgment nor an apology would ever pass those puckered lips.

“Wow.”

“You have that right, Lily – just another fun day in Retail Hell.”

--Benjamin

 

 read more tales from Benjamin Kissell here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Retail Balls Awards: Coupon Bitch Gets Told

 

Retailballscarol

From Hellgreens_Slave, November, 2010

So a few weeks back I was closing and the woman in cosmetics pages me over to her register for a return.

Before I go further I have to explain something: Hellgreens finally came out with an official coupon policy in August.. in the policy it states "coupon cannot exceed item value" which simply means you (the consumer) must pay sales tax (if applicable) and we cannot modify the face value of a coupon (like if the coupon is for $1 we cannot enter it as 99 cents) so keep this in mind.

So the lady had purchased some gum that's normally $1.79 but that week it was on sale for $0.99 with the coupon in our flyer.

She didn't have the flyer but used a $1 manufacturer coupon so she paid 79 cents for this gum.

But then on her way out the store she happened to look at the flyer and saw the coupon to make the item 99 cents.

Now we allow customers to use both store & manufacturer coupons- however it's one coupon per qualifying item and again the coupon cannot be worth more then the cost of the item.

So she wants an exchange over less than a dollar.

Whatever- people are cheap, I smile and comply.

Except I had blindly walked into the exchange so I saw her $1 MFC and the store coupon making the gum worth $0.99.


CouponbitchesI then explained to the woman that I could not do the transaction because with the gum now being priced at 99 cents the POS would not let us accept the coupon.

I apologized for the inconvenience but stated our coupon policy and thought the woman would understand.

NOPE!

Why would a customer understand anything that means they won't get the item for free?! LOL

She flipped- she started bitching that she should get the item for free, that I was ripping her off, that she's a regular shopper at this store and that I was being unfair and that the grocery store across the street would modify the coupon for 99 cents.

So, being the logical thinker I am I said, "So why don't you just go purchase the gum at the grocery store? Since they'll modify the coupon for you to get the item for free when you know our company policy prohibits coupon fraud like that?!"

CouponhellTo that she replied, "That comment was uncalled for!"

I laughed and told her that her rudeness and cheapness were uncalled for, and that how dare she consider herself a loyal customer if every time I've seen her being rung up she's always paid less than $5 for over $40 worth of stuff. lol

I wish I could burn every single last MFC before people bring them into the store.

People who abuse the MFC make me sick!

The woman also claimed she was going to call my boss but didn't ask for my name.. but when she called I answered the phone & pretended I was another manager and that I would "Give that other female manager a stern lecture."

Ahahahahahaha.

Oh and PS:

While my store just got done setting X-Mas we don't play X-mas music for another 3 weeks.

It's 49 days til X-Mas and I was in Kohl's earlier and they were blasting it like it's going out of style!!!

What is up with these companies! lol

It seems like X-Mas is being forced upon us earlier this season then last year..

--Hellgreens_Slave

 

 

read more Retail Balls Awards stories here

for more Holiday Hell go here

and you can checkout Drugstore Hell here

 

 

 

 

 


Retail Balls Awards: HELLGREENS COUPON BITCH GETS TOLD

 

Retailballsfreddy

 

From November 2010:

Hellgreens_Slave gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to a bitchy coupon custy attempting to bully her into breaking the rules:

Hellgreens_Slave here with another fun tale.

So a few weeks back I was closing and the woman in cosmetics pages me over to her register for a return.

Before I go further I have to explain something: Hellgreens finally came out with an official coupon policy in August.. in the policy it states "coupon cannot exceed item value" which simply means you (the consumer) must pay sales tax (if applicable) and we cannot modify the face value of a coupon (like if the coupon is for $1 we cannot enter it as 99 cents) so keep this in mind.

So the lady had purchased some gum that's normally $1.79 but that week it was on sale for $0.99 with the coupon in our flyer.

She didn't have the flyer but used a $1 manufacturer coupon so she paid 79 cents for this gum.

But then on her way out the store she happened to look at the flyer and saw the coupon to make the item 99 cents.

Now we allow customers to use both store & manufacturer coupons- however it's one coupon per qualifying item and again the coupon cannot be worth more then the cost of the item.

So she wants an exchange over less than a dollar. OCTOCAROL 042

Whatever- people are cheap, I smile and comply.

Except I had blindly walked into the exchange so I saw her $1 MFC and the store coupon making the gum worth $0.99.

I then explained to the woman that I could not do the transaction because with the gum now being priced at 99 cents the POS would not let us accept the coupon.

I apologized for the inconvenience but stated our coupon policy and thought the woman would understand.

NOPE!

Why would a customer understand anything that means they won't get the item for free?! LOL

She flipped- she started bitching that she should get the item for free, that I was ripping her off, that she's a regular shopper at this store and that I was being unfair and that the grocery store across the street would modify the coupon for 99 cents.

So, being the logical thinker I am I said, "So why don't you just go purchase the gum at the grocery store? Since they'll modify the coupon for you to get the item for free when you know our company policy prohibits coupon fraud like that?!"

To that she replied, "That comment was uncalled for!"

I laughed and told her that her rudeness and cheapness were uncalled for, and that how dare she consider herself a loyal customer if every time I've seen her being rung up she's always paid less than $5 for over $40 worth of stuff. lol OCTOCAROL 049

I wish I could burn every single last MFC before people bring them into the store.

People who abuse the MFC make me sick!

The woman also claimed she was going to call my boss but didn't ask for my name.. but when she called I answered the phone & pretended I was another manager and that I would "Give that other female manager a stern lecture."

Ahahahahahaha.

Oh and PS:

While my store just got done setting X-Mas we don't play X-mas music for another 3 weeks.

It's 49 days til X-Mas and I was in Kohl's earlier and they were blasting it like it's going out of style!!!

What is up with these companies! lol

It seems like X-Mas is being forced upon us earlier this season then last year..

--Hellgreens_Slave

read more Retail Balls Tales here

 

 

 

 

 


COUPON HELL: NASTY ASS THIEF ENCOUNTER

 

Couponhell

From May, 2011

Hello my darlings - Ms.E here. First time posting but avid reader.

I currently slave away at the same place as Jit, (K-Barf) but hopefully am leaving soon.
Something happened today that simply infuriated meI work at customer service - so I have to run a sales register, refund register and a bunch of extra machines simultaneously.
 
We were backed up today so I opened my sales register. This lady comes up with 50+ items - all pet related too. into my line. I'm thinking ugh this is going to suck, because I have to hand scan each item ( no register scanners. MEH.)Buttttt I put on my kiss ass smile and cheerfully say "Hi how are you today? Do u have your rewards Card."
 
BitchAssCustomer: 347 -
 
Ms.E One minute mam let me cue up that screen >>>>>  - please don't spew out ur number to me. I cant cue it up the second you start talking. I'm a human. Greet me back please.
The number mam?
 
BAC: ####......
 
>>> So I'm scanning...scanning...scanning.....bag. Bag. Bag.
 
Ms.E: Ok so that'll be 3xx.xx for today.
 
BAC: But I didn't want those Denta Bones.
 
*note she never said anything to me regarding them, she placed them on the counter and watched me scan/bag the 8 boxes.
 
Ms.E: I'm sorry mam. Just wait one minute I have to have a manager override and void out the total since its more than 2 items.
 
BAC: That's fine...
 
Carolanne 069*Call for override. I tell her I'm going to take a return while we wait. She says that's fine.
 
Cue in Dynamite - awesome manager.
 
Dyna: Sorry about that ma'am, here you go she'll go ahead and ring you up. EXIT.
 
Seeing as how all the items are bagged I start to type in the UPC numbers, but no. No that's simply unacceptable.
 
BAC: No you can't do that.
 
Ms.E: I'm sorry mam?
 
BAC: I want new bags. Those are dirty now.
 
*The bags are all neatly in her cart. Which I put in there since she won't do anything to help/be nice.
 
Ms.E: I'm sorry mam?
 
BAC: Well I work for the humane society and they all need to be clean.
 
Ah yess....because animals exposed to dirt and the elements is unnatural. So I swallow it.
 
Ms.E Well would you like to use your tax ID so that the company doesn't have to pay tax?
 
Bac: No.
 
So she wants to pay the 30 something $s in tax...suspicion. Anyways..Re do the ENTIRE transaction, reringing and bagging her items per her request.
 
Ms.E (Big smile for the finale) Your total for today is $3xx.xx
 
BAC: I have coupons.
 
Jason 038This bitch takes out a fucking fistful - I kid you not - a mother fucking fistful of coupons from her purse and throws them on the counter.
 
HIT 4.
 
FUCKING A.
 
Proceed to scan all coupons and hand her back the ones that aren't eligible. (expired/different product)
 
BAC: Cant you just see if they scan?
 
Ms.E: No mam, the store looses money if we accept expired coupons.
 
BAC: mhmmm.......
 
So bitch keeps up with her nonchalant attitude while I'm scanning and growing a returns line.
 
FINALLY DONE.
 
Ms.E: So the total is $1xx.xx (total bitch. great savings but total bitch)
 
So BAC pays. I say bye have a nice day bleh bleh bleh and I go to the return line, turning my back to her ridiculousness.
 
BUT IT'S NOT OVER!!!!!
 
She waits there, I work through my line, then hesitatingly turn to her and ask her if there is something else she needed
 
BAC: Id like to return these.
 
Ms.E: What in particular mam?
 
RHSEPT 501BAC: All of it (SMILES for the first time since she came)
 
And I get the full amount before coupons back.
 
OH HELL TO THE NO.
 
While it's true that the computer doesn't automatically deduct the coupons it's up to the service person to alter the price to the correct amount.
 
Ms.E: Ma'am that's entirely fraudulent. If you no longer want the products I'll be happy to return them for you but you aren't getting any more back than what you paid.
 
BAC: OH FUCK NO!
 
Bitch proceeds to have a temper tantrum. Ripping her RE BAGGED bags all over the floor. I'm calling security when an ASM comes up: Lets call him Push over *hint hint* and asks what the problem is.
 
BAC: She won't give me my money back!!
 
I patiently explain the situation to PU and he comes back with//
 
PU: I'm sorry mam, we'll go ahead and give you the full return.
 
DUMBASS SAY WHAT??? I'm fucking pissed.
 
He can tell. "Do the full amount Ms.E."
 
He watches me do her fucking return and makes sure I give her the full amount back.
 
So BAC leaves - up 200.00 and a fat smile on her face. I'm fuming.
 
Ms.E: PU why did u let her have the full money back?
 
PU: Because 200.00 is not worth loosing a customer over.
 
WTF?? I'm sorry but since when do we want scammers to come back?
 
WER fhjuierghuiertgh we4hki ftghybherhfhertbghv (angry pounding at key board)
 
--Ms.E

 

read more Coupon Hell stories here

 

 

 

 

 

 


Bookstore Discount Rat Loses Coupon Battle

 

Discountrat1

From RHUer, January 2010:

I work at a bookstore that loves the color red and hates the color green...when it comes to paint...not cash :P

Anyways, I work in a store that is staffed pretty low because my manager tries to give us valued employees (i.e. People that have been there longer than the newbies and temps) more hours since she knows not all of us have parents that can take care of us while we are trying to further our education (we live in a college town of spoiled brats...literally..I'm not talking in generalized tones here).

Since there aren't many of us to go around we sometime are on the register for 8 hours at a time...just one of us...by ourselves.

Luckily we like everyone we work with so we joke around on our walkie-talkies and talk shit about customers so it makes it bearable.

I always seem to get the customer that wants to use more than one of the same coupon during a transaction, which we don't accept.

So one particular day I get a lovely female crusty that seems to think that she's found a loophole. I've been working here 2 years...I know all the "loopholes." This was our exchange after her laying two of those damned things down:

Me: I'm sorry ma'am. I can't use two of the same coupons during the same transaction.

Crusty: Well what if I do two transactions? It'll work then right?

Me: I'm sorry ma'am, it is stated on the coupon "One coupon per customer during valid period."

Crusty: -blank stare-

Me: So I can't use this second one ma'am. But it does come off your highest priced item.

Crusty: Well, I'm just going to come in later and use it when your gone. -satisfied smirk-

Me: -Monotone- Yes that is possible.

-Long pause-

Crusty: -Bigger grin-

Me: Buttttt.... Actually ma'am if you leave and come back...I'm going to be here. I've already taken my break...I'm here till we close and I'm the only cashier. I don't forget names or faces. *(I actually have the memory of an Alzheimer's patient most days)* I'm actually here most of my day...most days out of the week...so I doubt that will be possible.

Crusty: -smirk gone-

Me: So that will be $X.XX

Crusty: -Throws debit card down.-

Me: There you are -insert name-, have a nice day.

-Kool-Aid grin- :D *(I actually hate saying their names but I'm forced to do this shit)*

Needless to say, she didn't come back, and if she did, nine times out of ten I didn't remember her.

--RHUer

 

 

 

 


Aggressive Discount Rat Encounter

 

Discountrat1

From Bridget, August 2009:

So our store has coupons every weekish that come out in the paper. They used to give them away at customer service and we usually had a few to spare at the registers. When they stop for some random reason, we have to explain that we don't have coupons to give away. I cannot re-scan coupons-I will lose my job (I'd rather quit than be fired, which I did!) 

An associate was buying some things and had forgotten her
coupons.  A nearby manager said she had extra coupons she would tear up and I should re-scan the coupon. 

Unfortunately for me, a customer behind her viewed this exchange.

Customer:  Do you have any extra coupons?

Me: No, I don't.  They don't give them to use anymore.

Customer:  Yes you do.

Me:  What?

Customer:  You gave some to the girl before me.

Me:  She's an associate and is using a manager's coupons, it's a little different.

Customer:  She told me in the dressing room that you had a bunch of coupons I could use at your register.  This isn't fair!

(That's right, the associate flat out lied to the customer.  Bitch.)

Me:  Well she wasn't telling the truth.  Like I said-they don't give them to us anymore, if we want coupons for ourselves we have to get them out of the paper like everyone else.

Customer:  But you have a whole bag of them right there!

Me:  Those are used coupons, I can't re-scan them.

CouponhellCustomer:  Yes you can!

Me: No, I can't.  I will lose my job.

Customer:  But you just did it for her!

(this exchange goes on for a few minutes)

Me:  Like I said, they don't give them to use anymore.

(At this point she looks like she's going to cry)

Customer:  It's not fair!  You come in early and take all the coupons for yourselves so the customers can't have any!

Me:  We don't have coupons at the store at all.  I don't have this stash of coupons that I hide for the hell of it.

Customer:  Well, I thought [dept. store] needed my money.  I was probably going to spend over $300 today and you just lost my business. I'm very disappointed.

Me: And I'm disappointed basic education failed you so horribly-so I
guess we're even.

There was no fucking way she was going to be spending $300.  Maybe she was so used to leeching off of the government for welfare she expects handouts.  Not from this girl.  I partially blame this on magazines with shopping "tips" that say if you annoy the clerk enough you'll
get your way. 

Screw that noise.

--Bridget