A Sunday in Theme Park Hell with 4 Nightmare Custys



From Rollercoaster Slave:

Oh my god, who unleashed the fucking horde of dumbasses?!?!

Seriously, the park today was like Left 4 Dead, only with angry impatient douchebags instead of zombies O_o

Add to that the fact that 4 out of our 5 registers in our stand crashed, and we were understaffed, and you get the day from hell.

Here is a list of the main shit-for-brains custys we had today (only 4, if I posted all of the massive idiots this post would be 3 pages long xD):

1) Father of the year:

So it was about noon, and we were in the middle of a huge lunch rush (think 45+ minutes in line, and then usually about 10-20 minutes to get your food).

This guy comes up to us with a group of little kids (I think the oldest was probably 8ish). He orders 5 pizzas, 3 sodas, and a beer.

Now, we have a policy of IDing everyone that wants beer, no matter how many times they come up to us. I ask to see his ID, and he goes completely apeshit.

He starts yelling shit like "I waited for 45 fucking minutes to get a fucking beer, and now you're saying I have to go get my fucking ID?!?! Fuck you you cunt!!!"

Throughout all of this, his kids are just kind of watching him (no doubt they will be terrible custys later in life) and he's standing there screaming obscenities at me. I apologize for the wait, and tell him we're understaffed.

He starts yelling that we shouldn't be understaffed, because people are looking for work. Understanding of economics FAIL. Jason2 064a

He eventually drags his kids away, still yelling about the "fucking retards in the pizza store."

Way to go, dad-of-the-year! I bet your kids are going to grow up without anger issues!

2) Oblivious Custy

I had 5 people in a row order beer, I IDed all of them, and all of them complained.

Now this lady comes up to me, orders a beer, and I ask for her ID.

She screams at me that she shouldn't have to show her ID "Because one, I look over 21, and two, you didn't ID anyone else before me!"

Suuuure I didn't lady.

You just keep telling yourself that *eyeroll*

3) Hellspawn

We finally got another register to start working, and opened it as soon as we could.

This little kid came up to the girl working the stand, ordered a soda, and payed for it with exact change.

Now, he ordered a Coke, but we only carry Pepsi.

He said that would be fine, and she poured it and gave it to him.

He took one sip, and dumped the cup on the counter saying that "I wanted a coke you idiot!"

This kid must have been 7.

There goes my faith in today's youth. Jason2 064b

4)  Fuck-taxes guy

Now, this was one of my last customers of the day, and by now, after 8 hours of douchebaggery and idiocy, I had reached the magical point where I was no longer able to care about anything.

My managers were angry because I'd gone over 40 hours for the week (we have a policy of sending people home before  they reach 40 hours, otherwise the managers get in trouble), and

I was just fucking done with angry people.

This guy comes up to me, orders a soda, and I tell him the total.

He freaks out (more so than that cust-zilla in my last submission) and blamed ME for the sales tax rate.

Now, I'm still recovering from jet-lag from when I went to Egypt, I'm energy crashing like hell, and stress is causing my stomach to hurt. (Sorry about sounding whiny, just want to show what was going on).

I was just done with people blaming me for random shit that they don't like, so I snapped.

I yelled at the guy "I can't even change my schedule, what the fuck do you expect me to do about the tax rate?!?!"

He looked down, and muttered something that sounded like "oh, sorry", he payed for his drink, and left.

Luckily, my manager likes me, so I didn't get written up.

--Rollercoaster Slave


read more Amusement Park Hell here

and for more Dumbass Customers go here!








Retail Balls Awards: Monstrous Clothing Store Customer Gets Told



From Jessica, July, 2008:

"I used to work at a Trendy Clothing Store that was considered the largest in out district. It was a busy night and I was managing the adult and kids and Baby stores by myself with three associates...after Christmas. Oh, and surprise surprise I was the only one able to ring!

Well this bitch called and complained to me, stating that she had bought something a couple of days ago and she never had the item placed in her bag.

I apologized and said I would look up the item number for her and let her know if we even had it in stock. We didn't. Now, our policy states that customers have 24 hours to call back and get a reimbursement.

I didn't feel like having to deal with telling her that cause i knew this fucking WASP would let me have it. I told her I would call her back once I  found it at another store and have it shipped to her. I also stated that I was the only ringer for two stores so I might not be able to get back to her until after we closed. I was being very nice, and went out of my way.

Well, this bitch decided to come in to my store no more that half an hour later while I had a line of six people deep. Fucking cunt decided to scream "Are you Jessica".

I said, "Yes, but you are going to have to wait in line if you need to talk to me".

I knew exactly who it was. She didn't want to wait. She began taunting me! I mean saying things like "Hurry up, Jessica. What's taking so long...Jessica" over and over.

Clothingstoremonster1I started shaking because I wanted to keep my composure in front of my employees and my customers. She kept it up.

All of a sudden she screamed out, "YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRINCESS!!!"

I snapped. I fucking snapped. I slammed the scanner down on the counter turned around to face her and yelled "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH."

The minute those words escaped my mouth her jaw dropped! I was shaking so bad...I picked up the phone, apologized to customers in line (They didn't seem to mind - one of them actually thought I did the right thing) and told the woman I was calling security.

She started crying, apologizing that she was taking her anger out on me, she had a newborn at home and an incompetent husband blah blah blah....and then she hugged me.

It was so fucking surreal. I told her she needed to leave and that I accepted her apology. She then told me to go home and have a glass of wine. WTF???? I MEAN SERIOUSLY WTF....It was bizarre. I have never been called a fucking princess..hahahahaaa..."



read more Retail Balls Awards tales here

read more Clothing Hell stories here







Call Center Hell: Crazy Customer Calling...



From, May, 2015: Techtyger

When I was in AOhell we had one repeat offender... If you ever wanted to see 500 people cringe all at the same time, all you had to do is say her name.

Happily, I've forgotten it, but I remember the one time I talked to her.

Working on the program, waiting for a reboot, she started casually asking me how to stop the guy who hides in her closet and beats her up at night. And she knows someone does, because her cat who watches when she types in her passwords and sells it to aliens told her about it.

When I did a mini-rant after getting off that call, someone else said that he had talked to her and she had refused to believe that he was in Florida; she knew for a fact that he was Japanese and in a satellite orbiting Puerto Rico.



 read more Call Center Hell here









From Drive-Off Dramaqueen, April, 2011:

Oh. My. Gods. I swear, someone left the door open at the loony bin or something, because they're all coming in full force to this gas station. Including, but not limited to, this gem, which just happened.

There was this old lady, I'd say probably a good 60-65 years of age, with leg braces and those half-crutches that have the thing that wraps around your forearm. She pulled up to the store, waited for an hour for the place to vacate, pulls around to a pump, comes in, and demands, NOT ASKS, DEMANDS, that somebody come out and pump her gas for her, because she's disabled.

I'm the only one in the store currently, so I say (insanely politely, as I've only been at work about an hour and hadn't had a bad custy yet!) "I would be happy to come out and pump your gas for you, ma'am, I just need to wait for the three customers who are in the store to pay and leave, I cannot leave the building with customers in it."

"NO. I HAVE *insert random mumbly-joe event here* TO BE AT IN FIVE MINUTES! YOU PUMP GAS NOW."

Really? Because you've sat here for an absurdly long time before coming in and demanding this.

Gas station 2"Well, ma'am, I'm the only attendant on duty right now, I can help you as soon as the store clears out. That's it."

She huffs and puffs, and decides to have me check 13 different gift cards to see if they had balance left on them.


Thirteen cock-sucking empty fucking gift cards.

And of course, it's my fault they're showing "empty" since none of them have been used!

So finally she puts $10 on a store credit card and walks back out to her car and sits in the driver seat, honking at me every two minutes while the other customers who were here first, and who are picking out their things are still shopping.

Almost a half hour later, and I did kind of feel bad about that, but not really, from the way she bursted in here, I finally got out and pumped her gas. Gas is like 3.40 a gallon or some shit and she ended up with 2.9 gallons.

She grabs my arm as I walk past, back in toward the store, and starts shouting that she "should get more gas than that, gas is 3.40 a gallon and she paid 10 dollars!"

I whip out my ipod, sick of her shit, and wrench away from her.

"Touch me again and I'll call the cops. As it stands, you just assaulted me. Now here, I have a calculator. $10.00 divided by the $3.40 ass-ragingly high gas price equals 2.942 gallons. That is what you received, that is what you paid for, don't come here again."

"How dare you talk to me like that, I'm a paying customer!"


"And I'm not required, as the only person on duty at this station right now, to leave this building for any reason. I'm sorry you have problems getting around, but maybe you should go to PamSu (hehe competitor) down that way" I point, "or the other OilSpill down that way," again, point "or any of the five Birthdays on Uni Ave. They all have two or more people working at any time. We do not. We are also the busiest station in this area, and, as such, we do not have time to leave the store and argue over whether or not we're "cheating people out of gas" at the pump. Because we're not. We just passed the mandatory yearly inspection with flying colors. So if you don't mind, I am going back inside, because it is cold, and I am only wearing a t shirt, and now my arm hurts."

Now, I understand, I do, I totally get the disabled thing. I spend a good deal of my time helping my mother, who is disabled, and my grandma and great aunt, both of which are disabled, and my mentally handicapped uncle. So, before the flame war starts on that end, let me just make that clear. I have nothing against people being disabled and needing extra help. But I will not stand by and be accused of cheating people, and I will not stand by and be abused or have my kindness taken advantage of.

--Drive-off Dramaqueen


 read more Retail Balls Awards Tales here

read more Old People Hell stories here

read more Gas Station Hell here






Movie Theater Hell: The Crazy Popcorn Lady



From Just Jess, January, 2011:


It was a Saturday, which was our busiest day of the week, so we were constantly making popcorn. (We only had one machine, again we were a discount theatre).

It was right before the next set of movies started so we had made enough popcorn to fill the machine. It was literally flowing over.

Then this "healthy" bitch comes in. I will call her HB.

Let me just start by saying that I don't know how other theatres work but we put in a cup of this seasoned salt when we popped our corn.

HB: Can you make some new popcorn without adding any salt?

Me: Sorry, we just made some and there isn't enough room for more in the machine at this time.

HB: Oh, I would really like some with no salt. I don't eat salt on anything. Come on you guys do it all the time.

Now let me say that we will make fresh popcorn for people if they ask, but like I said the machine was overflowing.

I decided to ask the manager and they said fine.

As the popcorn is being popped (it takes about 3 minutes) she starts asking me and my coworker if we put salt on anything.

HB: I don't put salt on ANYTHING. I always ask that there not be salt on my fries. Do you put salt on anything?

Me: (stupid me for answering a question. I really should know better) Just on my popcorn and sometimes my fries.

HB: YOU SHOULDN'T PUT IT ON ANYTHING! It's really bad for you. I should know..." Blah blah bullshit bullshit.

Whatever lady. She continued on the entire time. I even put the bag under the kettle to catch the popcorn so she wouldn't get any salt.

I give her her popcorn, and what does she do?

Come on RHUers, you know the drill.



She went off for several minutes about how we needed to not put salt on the fucking popcorn and then she just dumps it on there! Not just at work, but in our personal lives!

I guess it's one of those do as I say not as I do things. I think she just wanted fresh popcorn, but we had just made some!

Grrr At the time I was super pissed because we were busy, but now I just think it's a funny crazy custy story.

Over time hopefully the rest of you will stop being mad at these stupid custys and start laughing at the ridiculous things they do!

--Just Jess


read more Movie Theater Hell stories here





People of Walmart Crazy Lady Encounter: "Excuse me, where is your deodorant?"



From December, 2010:

Hey there RHU readers. First time submission here guess I'll just go by Jaxom on here, pretty much my online persona.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share the story of Vag Stank lady.

I am currently a slave of Hell-Mart and have been for about 3 months, and just last week, I saw something that literally made me ROFL for at least 2 mins.

Anyway I was working a cart of Health and Beauty aides when I smelt something horrible!

It smelt like baby poop mixed with old people smell and a heaping amount of body odor.

I hear a lady say, "Excuse me, where is your deodorant?"

I turn around and immediately know that this woman is the source of the stank.

I tell her, "Next aisle over on the right."

All is well I think, just as long as she leaves my immediate area. So I go walk back to my cart to grab another box, which is at the end and between the two aisles.

I heard a strange pssst noise. I look down the other aisle and there is the old lady standing there, spread legged and emptying an entire can of Axe onto her crotch.

I mean an entire freakin can! Her pants looked soaked with axe.

She didn't notice me so I just left the area immediately practically ran to the back room and just fell to the floor laughing.

All I could think about was, why did I not have a camera to submit to the website "the people of ******* .com"

But yeah just a funny story I thought I would share.

I ask RHU, what's the grossest thing you've witnessed a customer doing? [to see answers, go here]



read more Gross Retail Hell here

read more Crazy Lady tales here