Discount Rat Revenge at Shoe Store


Shoemess From Fiona, January 2010:

Dearest Retail Hell,

Another story for you from the depths of the shoe store jungle. 

My husband and I own and work in a shoe store.

There is parking right outside the door and we have big glass windows all along the front of the shop.

One day my husband served a young Asian couple (I wasn’t there at the time). 

They took ages for her to try on sale shoes, and in the end she argued for a further discount on an already well discounted pair of shoes, as she had found a tiny mark on the leather (was probably part of the natural leather grain). 

My husband refused to lower the price further. 

We are well used to customers trying to create imaginary faults in a shoe to get a discount (sorry, deescount).

Sometimes we’ll take another small token amount off and the customer leaves happy. Depends how much of a dog the shoe is and what kind of a mood we’re in and how nice the customer is.

On this day he’d had enough of this couple and said ‘the price is the price’ basically. 

So after mucking him around and not getting the shoes for 150% off the original price, they left. 

Not long after the man came back into our store.

Turns out someone had backed into his car just as he was leaving and he wanted to know if my husband had seen that it was the other person’s fault and could be an insurance witness for him.

‘Sorry mate, I didn’t see the accident, as I was putting away the shoes your wife didn’t buy’.  (his exact words - 'the shoes your wife didn't buy' - classic).

A sweet moment for a retail slave to savor.






Home Improvement Hell: The Idiot Customer Parade



From an RHUer, April 2009:

Swear to God, I don't know what gives customers their entitlement complexes, or their idiocy. Maybe they weren't loved enough when they were little. Maybe their mommies were retail slaves and were never home, thus driving them to take out their rage on the slaves of today.

I work at the OTHER massive home improvement store, although I'm a wimpy cashier, rather than a hardcore lumber-loader. ;-) I sling the occasional bag of topsoil or concrete, though. But I had a guy the other day that seriously made me wonder what kind of women he's used to. I was hopping back and forth from our tall ladders to the racks of display lamps to change burned-out bulbs, and I overheard a man saying to one of the managers who was nearby, "Shouldn't you get a boy to do that? That looks dangerous!" For one thing, I'm a lot lighter than a lot of our male employees, and can shimmy among the lights easier than them. And I guess it's ok if a guy falls and busts his head, but not a girl. My manager said that I was perfectly capable of doing my job, which I appreciated. :thumbs up:

I often work returns, which drives me fucknuts on occasion. I despise customers who obviously stole shit and bring it back, but I can't do anything about it without proof, unless the loss prevention manager is actually on top of it and puts their license in the system so it rejects returns without receipts.

Jason 009aA week or so ago, I was working in Lawn and Garden, which also takes returns, and I had a lady ask me about replacing a plant she'd bought a year or so ago that had died. We have a one-year guarantee on our plants, so I told her that yes, we could replace it/refund it if she would bring it back. She gave me this bewildered look and said, "But it's in the ground!" Stupid bitch actually expects us to replace a plant without ever seeing it? Be a good way to stock your garden for free. I ended up explaining to to her like she was a dumb 5 year old, asking her if she would ask to get a new vacuum if hers broke without bringing it back. That made her get it, amazingly.

Then 2 days ago, I had this evil bitch who was bringing back a couple hundred dollars worth of stuff, all on separate receipts. That doesn't matter usually, you can scan all the merch and all the receipts and the system will give the money back in whatever tender you paid with. But this bitch INSISTED I do each receipt separately. I explained how the system works to her, and she snapped, "Well, I just want to do it my way." Uh, do you see a BK sign anywhere, lady? Fine, let's take 20 minutes to do your return which could have taken 5. She returned some sod, and the L&G lady asked me if there was anything wrong with it. Apparently, the same bitch had called a couple days before to get the sod, and expected us to set aside 75 squares of sod for her to pick up eventually. Garden Lady told her if she would pay for it over the phone, of course she would set it aside for her, but that was the only way. Bitch huffed and whined and paid up, then said, "You'd better pick out good ones, or I'll be back." Oh, the terror. If you want good ones, pick 'em out your damn self. I told Garden Lady she should have pissed on the sod before she gave it to her.

You know, this is my first retail job, and I've had it for over a year now. I'll be glad when I'm done with uni and can get a real job with regular hours.


*read more Home Improvement Hell Stories here



11 Types of Customers You Meet Working in a Drive-Thru



From Twink, October, 2009:
My freshman year of college I was assigned to write an "Example" essay for English.  We were to pick a subject, and give various examples that fit said subject.  I chose to go with something I was hugely familiar with.
The various types of people one interacts with at a drive thru. See if you're familiar with any of these.
Snatch and Grab
They think that if they don't take their stuff from you the instant you put it out the window, you'll take it away forever.  When they take an item from you, you almost feel compelled to make sure you've still got all your fingers.
Permanent Grumps
You smile, you greet them, you try to engage them in conversation. Yet nothing you can do seems to make them smile, and more often than not, their mood rubs off on you.
I Forgot
You ask them at several points in their order if they would like to order anything else and they say "that's all thanks", and then when they get to the window, they always seem to remember something they forgot to order literally 15 seconds earlier.  They apologize profusely, and you tell them that it's okay, when inside you'd like to smack them because they're making your time average go up.
I Cant Function if I'm Not on My Cell Phone
Throughout the entire order, you're unable to tell if they're talking to you, or the person on the other end of their phone call, and because of that, their order is almost always wrong on some level, but they swear it's your fault.
Carolanne 071Drive Off Before They Get Their Total
The instant you verify that their order is correct, they pull forward towards the window before they can get a total, and the very first thing they ask you when you open the window is "How much was it?" (I had a boss who actually let me answer them with a sarcastic "Oh I'm sorry, didn't you hear me when I gave it to you?")
You Cant Build a Building Right
They pull up to the window, with around a foot of space between the outside curb, and their car window, and claim that they do so because your company cannot build a building properly and it will damage his car.  You nod in understanding all the while thinking "No you just can't drive you stupid prat".
I'm Above You
When you try to make conversation with them while at the window, they refuse to talk to you any more than necessary, as if you're beneath them, and they're afraid that speaking to someone in your position would tarnish their social status.  These are the most common causes for a cashier to shut the doors and mutter "bitch" or "asshole" when this customer drives away.
I Drive a Diesel Because They're Popular
They trip the speaker, and your ears are instantly assaulted by a loud rattling noise.  The customer will actually attempt to order while the truck is running, and is stunned when you ask him to turn it off.  These trucks are usually tricked out and impeccably clean,  which instantly tells you the truck wasn't bought for functionality.
Carolanne 038CI'm 16 So You Betta Recognize
They're young, have recently gotten their licenses, and think they're a complete badass because of it.  They often think that the car makes them better than everyone else, and they have a right to treat you however they feel.
I Think Drive Thru's Are Private
My all time favorite people.  They don't realize that when they trip the speaker, even though they cannot hear you, you can hear everything they say while they're sitting at the speaker.  Their conversations are often a source of amusement for anyone wearing a headset during a particular shift.
I Want to Talk to The Steering Wheel/Order Through my Window
 They seem to somehow think that either you can hear them through their window, or that the steering wheel has some sort of wireless connection to the drive thru speaker.   They almost always get frustrated when you ask them to speak louder.

And there you have it.  Did I miss any?


(BTW....I got an A on the paper, and my professor asked for a copy of it because it was one of the most original topics he'd ever seen).







Bullseye Hell: "Well, do you know anyone who DOES know what they are doing?"



From RHUer, September, 2009:

This story is one that happened to me, just earlier TODAY!!

Bullseye HELL!!!

Victim/Me-Cashier at Target

The following happened while at work as a cashier-

*I am ringing up a guest and have many guests in line behind the current one. We are very busy..and of course it happened.

A fairly large woman (I refuse to call her a "lady") comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder.

Before I can ask how I can help her, she starts talking.

Her: "Where do you got Jonas Brothers stuff" (Keep in mind this was a middle-aged women, no doubt looking for a gift for her teeny-bopper daughter)

Me: "Well, you'll have to be more specific, like what exactly are you looking for?"

Her:"I dunno, just stuff. With The Jonas Brothers"

Me: "Well, in electronics we have DVDs, and CDs, in stationary we have folders with them on it, and I think in bedding section we have pillows and sheet sets, might any of that interest you?"

Her: "NO! I what else you got, where do you got it"

Me: "Well, we have no specified Jonas Brothers area, and I can't help you unless you can specify at least what type of item your looking for.

*all this WHILE i am still ringing up "GUESTS" All of them look just as exhausted as I do from answering inane questions. By this point I feel like I'm talking in circles to a 9-year old*

Customer: "So your saying you don't know what else?"

Me: "I'm not saying that I just need you to..."


Customer: "Well, do you know anyone who DOES know what they are doing?"

This was actually a pointless question as she waddled away before I can answer her.

I swear, If there's anything I hate more than the Jonas Bros, it's idiotic "GUESTS" like her.

*Sigh* Another day another dollar






Retail Hell Memories: “I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN STOCK!!”


Carolanne 030

From u/l_om_ Tales From Retail:

Around Christmas time in the jewellery chain store I work in, stock is generally all over the place and the system might say we have three of a particular item in stock but we actually don’t! It’s usually an unreliable source meaning unless the stock count is like ten or above we generally tell customers it’s out of stock everywhere. For obvious reasons(!)

So it’s Christmas sales and our gold bracelets have gone to 50% off, it’s towards the end of the sale and this lady comes in and I have the unfortunate luck of serving her. She asks me do we have a particular gold bracelet in her size (a size 19) Immediately in my head I know that we don’t because I’ve had multiple customers look for it, so I tell her and she pauses for a second

Lady: You have one left in stock.

Me: Sorry?

Lady: other store told me you have one 19 left in stock.

Me: Oh I’m sorry the system can be wrong sometimes, we don’t actually have that size left it’s just a discrepancy on our system.

Lady: Check.

Me: Okay I’ll have a little look but I am almost certain we don’t. other store didn’t tell you that the system could be wrong??

So I go searching knowing well we don’t have it, just because I feel bad she’s come all this way to our store!! I then explain to her kindly that we don’t and how it could be wrong on our till etc and apologise and offer to take details incase we get it back in.

Lady: You have it in stock, you won’t give me it. other store told me you have one, I want to buy it now.

So the lady was already angry before she came in and now she’s getting worse and raising her voice etc.

Lady: You have size 19 just look for it.

Me: What do you think I’m after been doing the last few minutes??

Immediately she wants the manager and I go get her, my manager says the same as I do and the lady still not satisfied starts giving out about how horrible I am and how I shouldn’t be working in customer service!

Thankfully my manager completely stood by me and didn’t apologise, she just stated that I was actually a great member of the sales team.

In the end she tried to say we should pay her bus fare back to where she travelled in from and we just ignored her :)

Tl;dr - Lady thinks we are lying to her about not having bracelet size in stock when our system technically says it does, however she shouldn’t even have that information in the first place..






Drugstore Hell: “Why are you asking to check my ID?” “Because it’s store policy-“”yes but WHY” “because you’re buying certain medicine-“ “BUT WHY”



From u/Luna6696 Tales From Retail:

Title is pretty much it, but let me elaborate.

You have to be 18 to buy certain medicines because of their components. People use them to get high/drunk, etc.

I get a lady in her sixties buying some, and out of habit I ask for ID. Usually for the older folks I’ll just confirm it without seeing ID because clearly Aunt Ethel is over 18, but you know. Habit.

She’s offended, astounded, disgusted. Wrinkling her nose, her brow.

Lady: “Why do you need to see my ID?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just store policy for some things.”

Lady: “But why do you need my ID? Why are you asking for my ID?”

“Because with certain medicines, we need to make sure the guest-“


Me, after taking a breath: because some medicines have components in them that can be misused and people may use them to do bad things”

Lady, muttering: I thought all that stuff was kept behind the pharmacy...grumble grumble...

Like, I’m sorry we don’t just store medicine like NyQuil behind the pharmacy- which closes at 6- in a store that closes at 10???