Retail Balls Awards: Monstrous Clothing Store Customer Gets Told



From Jessica, July, 2008:

"I used to work at a Trendy Clothing Store that was considered the largest in out district. It was a busy night and I was managing the adult and kids and Baby stores by myself with three associates...after Christmas. Oh, and surprise surprise I was the only one able to ring!

Well this bitch called and complained to me, stating that she had bought something a couple of days ago and she never had the item placed in her bag.

I apologized and said I would look up the item number for her and let her know if we even had it in stock. We didn't. Now, our policy states that customers have 24 hours to call back and get a reimbursement.

I didn't feel like having to deal with telling her that cause i knew this fucking WASP would let me have it. I told her I would call her back once I  found it at another store and have it shipped to her. I also stated that I was the only ringer for two stores so I might not be able to get back to her until after we closed. I was being very nice, and went out of my way.

Well, this bitch decided to come in to my store no more that half an hour later while I had a line of six people deep. Fucking cunt decided to scream "Are you Jessica".

I said, "Yes, but you are going to have to wait in line if you need to talk to me".

I knew exactly who it was. She didn't want to wait. She began taunting me! I mean saying things like "Hurry up, Jessica. What's taking so long...Jessica" over and over.

Clothingstoremonster1I started shaking because I wanted to keep my composure in front of my employees and my customers. She kept it up.

All of a sudden she screamed out, "YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRINCESS!!!"

I snapped. I fucking snapped. I slammed the scanner down on the counter turned around to face her and yelled "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH."

The minute those words escaped my mouth her jaw dropped! I was shaking so bad...I picked up the phone, apologized to customers in line (They didn't seem to mind - one of them actually thought I did the right thing) and told the woman I was calling security.

She started crying, apologizing that she was taking her anger out on me, she had a newborn at home and an incompetent husband blah blah blah....and then she hugged me.

It was so fucking surreal. I told her she needed to leave and that I accepted her apology. She then told me to go home and have a glass of wine. WTF???? I MEAN SERIOUSLY WTF....It was bizarre. I have never been called a fucking princess..hahahahaaa..."



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Pet Store Hell: Encounters with Bitches - of the Human Kind



From PetShart Stevie, March, 2010:

Hey RHUers! Long time reader, first time poster, and so on.

I live in Pasadena, California and have been a Retail Slave since I was 15. My retail experience spans many many years. From Hollyweird Video to Noah's BagHELLs to some roofing company to all things under the goddamn sun.

Anyway, now I am a slave at a petstore that sounds like PetShart. My tale of woe is but a small sampling of what I have to deal with in this "upscale" neighborhood with its rich bitchy customers.

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand spoiling your pet and the fact that they're like your children (especially to the ladies that come through the line with 637 cans of individual cat food that I have to scan...individually) but really...sometimes it just goes too far.

Let me set the scene for you.

It's my first day on the registers...second day in the company. My manager just trained me on the registers (which, after so many retail jobs...and not being an idiot...takes me like 3 seconds to learn) then left to do something else.

The first lady I help on my own is paying with a check...and he didn't train me on how to do checks yet, of course...

It's suddenly gotten busy (as we all know customers see one person in line and decide that THIS is the time to swarm to the registers like the infestation they are).

There are TWO registers open, but the lady behind the lady I am helping, who is being very sweet about the whole thing, decides that I and ONLY I am going to check her out with the aforementioned amount of cat food cans.

My coworker for some reason refuses to call my manager over (only she had a phone that could page on the overhead). I obviously can't just leave the register to wander the store looking for him so I'm stuck begging her to call him over while the whole time this lady who's next in line keeps repeating, "What am I waiting for? Can you tell me what i'm waiting for???" while I AND the lady I'm helping keep repeating something along the lines of, "I'm just waiting for the manager."

PethellOf course I wanted to say something much, MUCH different.

FINALLY coworker pages him and he meanders over. We get it figured out and Bitchy McGee comes to the register with her bazillion cans of individual cat food. She continues to bitch at me while I scan each and every one of these cans and bag them, put them in her cart and continue. She finally leaves and I'm once again happy...for a while.

THEN this self-entitled Rich Bitch comes in telling me that her dog "will only sleep on sheepskin blankets" and how she "has much nicer stuff and can afford better than what we have in here, but she needs something to take to her boyfriend's penthouse when she visits" and whatnot.

I show her all of the beds we have and she proceeds to pull every one of them off the shelves and have her dog "try them out."

I don't know how many of you have ever been to L.A., but people are kind of...well...batshit crazy. She proceeds to tell me that "Spike doesn't dig the vibe of this one." and "He's not feelin' this." and whatever the crazy hell else she said.

I FINALLY get her to the register carrying not only her new dog bed, (Yeah, Spike eventually "dug one"), but also a bag of food, some treats, and HER DOG.

I get no kudos for selling stuff to her, no commission, no "Hey, good job!"...NOTHING. ...Except a "why did you spend so long on one customer, we have other people to help in here!"


Anyway, that's a minor annoyance compared to everything else I've suffered, as I am also a bather in the grooming department, reception for the grooming department, cashier, and the Doggie Day Camp area.

-- PetShart Stevie 


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Retail Balls Awards: Hotel Customer Gets Told



From December, 2010:

The hotel manager in this story gets a Retail Balls Award for their swift and supportive action in dealing with a homophobic asshole customer:

Hey RHU,

It's Dan and I'm back at the Front Desk. I had left the hotel to lease apartments because the hotel is a good half-hour away and this leasing job was right out my front door (literally...I was leasing apartments in my own apartment complex). Because of the wonderful training I had in how to lease apartments I became frustrated to the point of tears (I have anxiety attacks when I don't know what I'm doing...wonderful when what I'm doing is my only source of income, right?)

Anyhoo, my FOM gave me my job back and let me tell you...I appreciate this job so much more just because I know what I'm doing and I'm good at it.

Back to the story at hand...I got called a fag at work, RHU. I'll be honest, it's the first time in my 21 years of life that it was said with such hate and to my face.

I've had it said behind my back once before, but when I turned around and said "Excuse me, what did you say?" the douche-tard shut his vomit-hole.

When this happened, I was so taken aback. Our hotel has a policy that requires people checking in to provide their credit card and picture ID. When Mr. H came up to me, he told me he didn't have his card, but asked if we could charge to the one that was on file. (We only do that for the highest tier of our loyalty program. He was the bottom tier.)

Me: Sorry, I would need to have the card to I can swipe it.

Mr.H: Well if my girlfriend comes and gives you her card, can you just charge the one that's on file?

Me: No, I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.

He goes away and gets on his phone, so I continue to play Freecell on my computer because it's the only game that isn't blocked (and it's awesome). He comes up again maybe half an hour later with his girlfriend to check in.

OCTOCAROL 336Mr.H: So I called THEM and they charged my card for the room and they said all I had to do was show my ID. 

I assume by "Them" he meant Schmilton, so I check the reservation, and instead of "Guarantee by Credit Card" his reservation noted "Full-Prepayment" which solved half of his problem and caused all of mine. See, even if the room is prepaid we still need a credit card for incidentals (room service, phone, etc;).

Me: Okay it looks like the room has been payed for, I'll just need a credit card for incidentals.

Mr.H: Did you not listen to me? I already payed for the room, they told me all I needed to do was show my ID.

Me: I agree that the room was paid for, but I still need a card for incidental charges.

Mr.H: Listen to what I'm saying. I don't have a credit card on me, is there a manager here I can speak to?

Me: I'm the only one here to assist you at the moment, and that doesn't change the fact that our hotel's policy is to collect a credit card upon check in.

Mr.H: So what do you want me to do?

Me (at this point, I'm shaking from frustration): I want you to come back with either a credit card or cash to leave as a deposit.

Mr.H: Fuck you, fag!

At this point, he picks up his bags and storms out with his ugly girlfriend in tow.

Me: Have a great night! Jason 024

It was the only come-back I could think of at the time. I honestly wanted to incite him to come back because then I would get the pleasure of calling the police to escort him off property and issue a no-trespass warrant. Alas, the only thing I could do at that point was call my FOM who went livid.


I <3 her. I ended up calling the loyalty program's Guest Assistance hotline and had them mark in his profile about being abusive to hotel staff, that way people are aware. And my FOM get's the task of sending him a letter telling him he is no longer welcome back on property, lol.

So yeah, pretty intense moment. All I want to say is that I love my job even more because my manager will go to the ends of the earth for me and the rest of the team =D


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From October, 2010:

A high end department store slave gets a Retail Balls Award and MAJOR kudos for confronting a custy with inappropriate behavior. This story will make you cheer, RHUers! Enjoy:

Another long time reader, first time submitter here.

I've spent my last two lovely years in retail hell from Old Gravy to my current job at Bloomingfails.

I've had my share of rude, entitled, to just plain stupid custys. I was lucky enough to encounter one the other day and of all the crazy retail encounters I've had I don't think anything has ever shocked me more than this.

I'm at the watch bay at Bloomingfails making everything look beautiful and such.

A man about 6'2 in a business suit comes in with his wife trailing after him. I look up and say delightfully, "Hi, how are you doing today?"

Before I even finish, he flips me the bird.

YES, you read correctly, straight up just gives me the finger for asking him how he was.

I hear his wife say, "Oh my god, what's wrong with you?"

Clearly, she disapproves but doesn't apologize to me on his behalf.

Now I'm a 5'7, very skinny 19 year old female and I don't take shit from anyone.

After I get over the initial shock and see them in the store about 5 minutes later, I march right up to him and say in my sternest voice, "Excuse me but I don't appreciate you flipping me the bird and if you harass another associate one more time I WILL call security and I WILL have them escort you out," and walk away.

I look behind me after a moment and see him walking up to me.

He apologizes and says he thought I was someone else. ???? RHSEPT 489

I ask who he thought I was and he said he mistook me for another associate who had helped him the other day.

Okay... still not an acceptable reason to flip off a sales associate.

After apologizing to me he hugs me.


Yes, hugs me.

Whatever, I got the apology I deserved.

What makes someone think it's okay to just flip off a sales associate?

Just because I work in retail doesn't mean you can treat me like shit.

I WILL call someone out, I always have,  and if a manager ever gets on my case for it I will tell them that if the company stands for abuse of it's employees, it's not a company I need to be working for.

I have many more stories to come.

Haven't come up with a name yet either.

Any suggestions?

--Bloomingfails Slave


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Retail Balls Award: Ice Scream Store Bitch Gets Owned



From Staypuft, October, 2009:

I was once an assistant manager for a well known drug store that served ice cream by the scoop in Southern California. During a very hot summer night the line was almost out the door as I was quickly getting as many of my customers their favorite scoops of ice creamy goodness.

This evening was the classic case of everything that can go wrong, did go wrong.  I was the only manager on duty that night, so being in charge of customer complaints, slow moving lines at the pharmacy, the many returns made by customers made my head spin. Not to mention being short two crew members this evening did not make matters any easier.
Surprisingly the customers, for the most part, were happy just to be experiencing air conditioning. They took magazines off the nearby racks and read quietly as they saw me hustling around as fast as I could taking care of business. Each customer that I helped in that line wore a smile upon their face as I cheerfully greeted each one and gave them an extra large scoop. Almost like a scoop and a half for waiting in such a long line.


A middle aged lady walks up to the counter.  She must have been wearing three pounds of make up. Amy Winehouse and Bozo the clown would have been proud to see the art work that she had on her face. Adorning herself with every piece of jewelry in that would have made the home shopping network look cheap.   

I look up and squint against the gleaming of golds and reds, no, I am not talking about the jewelry, I'm talking about her clown makeup.  But the shine coming off her bling was not helping either.
"Hello! What can I get for you?" I ask politely.
" Hmmmm .. yess," she snears.. " I would like a scoop of vanilla."
"Ok! would you like that in a cup or a cone?" I ask.
"Hmmmm...   a scoop of Vanilla...yes.. in a cup.  In a cup." she grunts that would put fear into any horror movie monster.
"Alright! no problem.. one scoop of vanilla in a cup, coming up."  I re-verify every order every time since my stock on cups and cones were running low. Throwing away supplies was something I didn't like doing nor afford.
I turn around and show her the cup, rinse off the scooper and dive into the vanilla ice cream.  Cheerfully, I present her with a a cup with a very impressive scoop of vanilla.
You could have heard the crickets outside the door laughing.
Her make up almost cracked like the pavement in the parking lot as I attempted to hand her the cup. "NO!  I wanted a CONE! Do it again!"
MONSTER2With the air conditioning on full blast, the frigid air of the freezers below me, I lost my cool. And the volcano within began to bubble.
"Madam... I asked you if you wanted a cup or a cone.  You said "A cup"  I verified it with you and you saw me take a cup from the counter and scoop the ice cream in. You never said a cone."
"I said a CONE! I stood here for three hours waiting for ice cream.." She barked.
"No madam.. you did not stand here for three hours so don't try to make it sound like you did. If you do not want this ice cream, there is the door.  You have a nice day." I said gritting my teeth.
Suddenly the crowd behind her starts to grumble and shift like an earthquake. 
"Everyone here heard me tell you I want a CONE!"  Her voice shrills, hurting my ears.
I look at everyone behind her.. their patience has been drained already. In unison, like a gospel church choir, all of them sang " YOU ASKED FOR A CUP!"  a few shouts of "get outta here" and "here is your cone" as they grabbed their crotch area came at her like a barrage of gunfire from a WWII  machine gun.
With her final stroke of dignity she turned to me and demanded to see The"F"ing Manager.
I looked down, picked up my name badge that clearly shows my title.  Silence... like the coming of the storm, the volcano within erupted.  I raise up my eyes to meet hers and say "You see this....I am the "F"ing manager.  GET THE "F" OUT OF MY STORE..... NOW."
She leaves having much of her mascara puddling on the floor while the crowd cheers. With each of the following customers that night I asked them to please call the 1 800 number on their receipts and give my store a rating upon customer service. 

I got a call from my district manager the following week. He congratulated me on a successful amount of feedback.  However, he mentioned one particular lady that had a bad experience while getting ice cream. When I told him the whole story, he shrugged it off and said to keep up the good work.









Monstrous Customers: Buy two doesn’t get one free, please read carefully ...



From  u/AecroMint Tales From Retail:

So today there’s this ridiculous customer that came into the apparel store I work in. Let’s name her L for Lady. And I am using the same polite tone as usual to greet each patrons

Me: Hello. Good evening ma’am. How can I help you?

L: I would like to purchase these three items.

Me: Okay.

Me: The total would be $65, with an additional discount on the 2nd item. Would you like to pay by cash or card?

L: WHAT?! Didn’t the display said if I purchase two pieces, I will get another piece for free? What happened to that?

Me: Sorry Ma’am, I am afraid you might have mis-interpreted the display’s meaning for this design.

Me: For this design, the display stated that if you purchase an item, the following item will have an additional discount to it, we do not give free pieces for this one.

Me: the one you are looking at is for another design, would you want to opt for that inst-

L: It’s clearly for this design, don’t think I’m dumb alright?

Me: Ma’am-

L: SHUT UP and let me talk! I am not done yet!

Me: okay ... (I feel so humiliated damn)


L: How did the management hire you? You can’t read!

L: I definitely do not accept this! Let me talk to your manager, it’s clearly stating that it’s buy two get one free for ALL items! (Clearly it isn’t facepalms)

Me: I could get my manager to speak to you if that’s what you want but he’s going to tell you the same thing as I do, is that alright?

L: GET YOUR MANAGER TO SPEAK TO ME RIGHT NOW! I will definitely get him to fire you!

(Went to get my manager and of course, my manager told the lady the same thing and this was when she threw the items that she was holding onto on the ground and left furiously.)

I definitely hope to never see her again, some people really needs to see clearly on what the sign is stating!