Nursing Hell: Asshat Patients



From PyschRN, February 2010:

First of all, I LOVE this site!!  It makes me remember my days of Restaurant Waitress Hell at a certain restaurant whose name includes a color and a large crustacean. 

I now work as a Registered Nurse. THAT has its own brand of HELL. For some reason hospitals have now begun pushing the 'customer service' aspect of a visit to the hospital. 

They have gone so far as to give nurses SCRIPTS containing exactly what they want RNs to say to these 'customers'...things like 'Is there anything else I can get for you?  I have the time.' 

Now I don't know about you, but if someone said that to me EVERY hour for 3 days, I'd probably shoot them (or myself). 

I thought I'd gotten away from such nonsense when I took my job as a clinic nurse in a county mental health clinic (my specialty is psychiatric nursing...a whole other story). I adore most of my patients, but we get some real asshats.

To top that off, every SINGLE one of our patients is on welfare, and 99.9% of them have 'entitlement syndrome'.

Anyhow one day, I had the following encounter with a patient over the phone:

Me: Hi, this is PsychRN, can I help you?
Patient (Pt):  I need my Xanax script called in early. I'm going to California because my dad died and the pharmacist says I need an override from you to get it filled.
Me:  Sorry to hear your dad died. Really all I can do is call in the prescription for you but it's up to your (state-run) insurance as to whether they'll pay early or not. What's your name?
Pt:  Just CALL IT IN! GODDAMN!  I don't care what you have to do.  My dad is DEAD. *huff*  *male voice in background says 'shut UP!'
Me:  (starting to get suspicious)...Hey!  This story sounds familiar...are you X?  Because if you are, you must have more than one dad because you called with this same story about 6 months ago! And if you are X, there's no WAY I'm calling it in early for you.
Pt:  FUCK YOU, BITCH!  *click*
Me:  *giggles and goes back to charting*
Ah, the stories I could tell! The asshats really hate getting transferred to me because 1) Most of them know me and they know I won't take shit off ANYBODY ,2)  Try as they might, they just can't make me MAD! haha and 3) I can smell bullshit a MILE away...if the story is bogus, then SORRY! NO EARLY XANAX FOR YOU! 
--your friendly PsychRN





Dumbass Customers: Ma'am, I'm sorry but I cannot return an item over the phone



From M, April 2009:

I don't know what it is about 'guests' but they just seem to get more and more insane and stupid as time progresses.  This was probably one of the best phone conversations I've ever had. Enjoy.

*on the phone*
My coworker: no. maam. uh. no. you can't on the phone. no. yes. okay hold on.

My coworker to me: She wants a manager.

Me: [takes phone.] Thank you for holding this is M how can I help you?

Lady: yea I bought [insert item here. I honestly can't remember what it was] and it doesn't work and I want to return it.

Me: Okay, do you have a receipt for it dated within 90 days?

Lady: yes! I just bought it and it doesn't work!

Me: I'm very sorry about that. Just bring in the item and the receipt to the service desk and we'll gladly exchange or refund the item for you.

Lady: Look, I don't live by the store. it's too far away.

Me: Well that's okay, you don't have to return it to this store. You can return any [store name] merchandise to any [store name].

Lady: This is a pain. I don't have time to keep running back and forth. Can we do this over the phone?

Me: [pause] over the phone?

Lady: yes, can't I just read you the information off the receipt or something?

Me: no.

Lady: Why not? this is ridiculous, I shouldn't have to drive all the way back there because this thing is broken!

Me: Ma'am, there is no way to return something over the phone. I need the merchandise in the store to refund the money for it.

Lady: I can't believe this. I want to process this return over the phone so I don't have to drive to ANY [Store Name].

Me: Ma'am, I'm sorry but I cannot return an item over the phone. With a return you need to give back the merchandise that you don't want. You cannot keep the merchandise and get your money back for it. It's kind of like stealing.

Lady: I don't steal!

Me: I'm not implying that you do, but if I were to give you back money for something you kept it's sort of the same concept.

Lady: Thank you for your help. *click*

*sigh*  Yes, I cannot believe this actually happened either.  Maybe next time she'll ask to return something via email!


Read more Dumbass Customer Stories here.






Monstrous Customers: Trying to help but you clearly don't want it. Thanks for the abuse, enjoy your phone robot hell.



From  u/TinHawk Tales From Retail:

I work in a big box electronics retail store. I recently got stuck answering phones.

Me: Thank you for calling [electronics retailer], how can I help you?

Customer, very loud voice, clearly frustrated: is this [tech support company who works in the store]?

Me: No, sir, this is [electronics retailer], but [tech support company] is in the store here. Maybe I can help. What's the issue?

(90% of these issues don't need to be transferred)

Customer screams the name of the tech support company in my ear.

Me: Sir, in order to get you to the correct person, I need more info. What's going on?

Customer screams the name of the company again, slower and louder in my ear.

Me, done completely with this guy, transfers him to the corporate robot line.

Moral of the story: look, I'm a human. I get you're frustrated, but i don't deserve to be treated like that. Especially since i had literally zero to do with why you're upset. If you treat people in customer service like they're idiots or less than humans, you're going to be forced to talk to robots instead. And that tech support robot is the actual worst.

Update: He called back today and did it again. I wonder how many times we will do this dance, sir.





Retail Hell Memories: How I ruined a marriage with one phone call



From u/maladygris Tales From Retail:

So a few years ago I worked in a furniture store. In the store you could apply for a credit card to finance your purchase. I had an older lady come in (probably mid 50's) with a man in his 20's whom I assumed was some sort of family member. So we put through her application and set up an order with some previous details that had been stored in the system from years ago (usually attached to a surname and phone number).

Everything went well, the loan was approved and the lady and man left the store. Several days later, when their order was in stock, I called the number on the order and was greeted with the voice of another man. He knew the customer, but he had no idea about the loan or the furniture. It quickly clicked in my head that she was eloping. As when I asked about her marital status earlier, she replied: "I'm married but I might not be soon", which I played off as a joke.

Her now husband then asked if she had anyone in store with her, and I said I didn't remember, not wanting to reveal anything catastrophic. Then he asked for a copy of the order, which I provided, as it was his email address on the order and I am obliged to.

Later that day I was met with a wall of shouting and insults as the customer berated me over the phone for ruining her marriage. Telling me that her husband didn't know. (Mind you, she had a copy of the order the whole time with her now husbands phone and email on it). She then proceeded to come into the store and shout at me again for another few hours, requesting my manager call her husband and explain to him the order was a mistake and that we had to cancel it. Which we did.

A week rolls by and she comes in and asks us to reinstate the order, this time with very large discounts for her "inconvenience". She filed complaints about me to the head office and I was written up twice (but refused to sign). The customer subsequently had her goods delivered to the young man's address...

TL;DR A lady orders some furniture with us preparing to secretly elope. I called her husband's mobile and tipped him off by accident.





Monstrous Customers: I gave you no details on what I need, so you're obviously mentally deficient



From u/ShayminSkyForme492 Tales From Retail:

So, this isn't my story, but a story from a friend, and his first experience with an obnoxiously rude customer. Note that this was within his first few weeks of working at a large retail store, so he was still learning the ropes and a bit nervous about everything.

At that store, if a customer called to ask a question about stock or if they carried a certain item, they would be redirected to a receptionist, so to speak, and then would be transferred to the proper department. Almost everyone dreaded picking up the phone because so often they didn't have access to a means of checking stock (there was a shortage of equipment) and most of the time the people calling would be the typical "But it says you have it online!!!" sort.

So, my friend, let's call him A, was sent to answer the phone. At the time, he was working in the department that covered everything in the store that wasn't clothing, food, electronics, or makeup/health goods. This meant he had to answer questions about basically half of the store's products (yes, working in that department is literal hell, and he transferred out of it after about 3 months). The conversation follows, and is paraphrased a bit from what I remember him telling me. Rude Lady is RL.

A: "{Store name}, how may I help you?"

RL: "Do you have blue containers?"

She gave no extra details about what exactly she needed. Did she need storage containers, and if so, which size? Did she need food storage containers? Did she need some other product? Did she want a blue-lidded container, or a completely blue container? As I said, their stock variation is huge, and just saying "a blue container" does not help at all.

A tries to ask for specific details to narrow down what exactly she wanted: "So, do you mean a storage container?"

RL, now sounding angry: "I mean a blue container! The lady that answered first (the receptionist) said you had them! How do you not know your own stock!?"

A is flustered at this point, as he hadn't dealt with this sort of customer before: "Ma'am, we have a lot of different containers, so I need more details to help you-"

RL cuts him off, yelling at this point: "How do you not know your own stock!? The lady said you knew! How incompetent are you to not know about something this simple!? It's just a blue container! Why do they hire r****ds like you instead of people who understand basic questions!?"

Understandably, A is extremely upset at this point. He's new, but doing his best and doing a damn good job at it (he was actually promoted to an assistant manager position soon after he transferred departments). He's one of the smartest, nicest people I know, and was very popular among his coworkers for his attitude and work ethic. And now, this lady is calling him slurs because she refuses to answer a simple clarification question.

A responds, and he tries to keep the emotion out of his voice: "Ma'am, I can't help you if you don't-"

RL cuts him off again, still yelling: "Don't bother! I'll go call {other store} and talk to someone with a brain!" She hangs up.

A, understandably, had to go take a breather in the back after that.

TL;DR: Rude lady asks extremely vague question about a type of item she wants. When my newly-employed friend tries to ask details to narrow down what she wants, he gets called an albeist slur. Friend has to go into the backroom to calm down.






Monstrous Customers: If you find the wrong item and put it on hold for me, I will rip your hair out



From  u/Ashleylister33 Tales From Retail:

I work at a fast fashion company and have been working retail for years, this is definitely not my first time dealing with crazy, just the first in a good while.

Opened the store today at 10am, get a call from a customer at 10:15, looking for an item she saw online. Not unusual, just usually customers call through our customer service center, which is easier because they have access to online and can describe the items more accurately, since we can't look them up ourselves in store. Our registers, while they look like a computer, have zero Internet access.

She will be IL for Insane Lady.

IL: Hi yes I am looking at this cardigan online and I really quite like it, but I REFUSE to buy it online, because I don't want too, can you check if you have it in store?

Me: Yes totally, can you describe the cardigan to me, tell me the price, and size you need?

IL: It's a ribbed gray cardigan that is 29.99, very light looking, perfect for wearing it with a shirt, I want it in a medium, and if you don't find the EXACT cardigan and tell me you do have it, and I drive all the way over to you, I WILL RIP YOUR HAIR OUT.

My eyes almost popped out of my head and all I said was "... Okay."

I then put her on hold, in awe of how someone could casually threaten violence to a stranger like that. I didn't look for the cardigan, I think we actually had it, but I'm not trying to go out of my way and keep a customer happy that threatens to rip out my hair...

I picked up the phone and let her know we didn't have it available in store and hung up without waiting for a reply or giving her a snarky last word. Wasn't worth my time.

What a wonderful day at the mall.