I had a middle seat on a flight, which always sucks, but in this case it really sucked.
When I got to my seat, the window seat was taken by this quiet, shy guy who I just acknowledged with a small smile before taking my own seat.
Then this lady comes on board. While I am not a skinny woman, this woman obviously was large enough to need two seats. On top of that, she had a crying, fussy toddler with her that was traveling as a "lap child."
In order to accommodate this lady I was practically sitting on shy guy's lap and we just kept looking at each other with wide eyes as the woman tried to get settled. After the stewardess got her a seat belt extender, she hands her kid over to me and this guy without a word.
I think we were both too shocked to do anything but stare at this blubbering child the first time around. It might have been different if she had asked, or if she had only done it to get her seat belt on, but throughout the flight she kept trying to hand this kid over to us!
I finally turned to the guy and said clearly, "Hey, out of curiosity, how do you feel about kids? Because, me? I fuckin' hate 'em."
She gave me this death glare that I returned, then gently but firmly plunked the kid back into her lap.
Just a short time later she tried to plunk the kid in my arms again!
I looked her straight in the eye and said loudly, "I don't want your fucking kid."
She told me she just needed me to, "just watch him for a little while."
I told her, "Your kid, your responsibility. You're his parent. Hold him, or buy him another seat. I will NOT be responsible for him, nor will I babysit him. You try to hand him over one more time, and I goddamn guarantee you, there will be a fight."
She spent a lot of time huffing angrily, like it was a ridiculous imposition upon her to take care of her own child. It was the most uncomfortable flight ever.