Crazy Customers: The Crazy Cat Man



From u/MeAmsI Tales From Retail:

So up untill a month ago I worked at a meat/seafood counter as a butcher. I loved my job and worked there for ten years, but the company got bought out and everything changed management wise. So I put in my two weeks notice and found a different job away from retail.

Before I left, we used to have this regular customer that would come in three to four times a week to get salmon and chicken tenders for his cat. Now, this guy was always super difficult. He only wanted meat from the back or try and have us break open one of our vac sealed packages from the shelf. He never spent more than five dollars and was super picky about what he would and wouldn't buy.

My store offered the option to have meat and seafood smoked upon request. But you had to place your order at least two days ahead of time because the two departments shared a smoker and we can't smoke meat and fish together for cross-contamination issues.

This gentlemen had recently found out about our smoking services and thought that if he called an hour ahead we would smoke his fish, regardless of whether or not things were already in the smoker. I should also mention that no matter what you are smoking, it takes a few hours. The smoker only gets up to a temp of two-fifty. So I talked to him a few times about our special orders policy. Told him that if he wanted smoked items then he would have to place a standing order and that we can't do special smoked orders on weekends due to catering orders that come down from corporate.

I thought that he understood. But no. He talked to my manager, who told him the same thing I did. Then he talked to my store manager who told him the same thing I did. Then he e-mailed corporate and told them that we were mistreating him because we didn't listen to his needs.

Corporate sent a letter to us telling us to try and make this customer happy even if it means making other people sick. I told the customer that I would not make people sick no matter what corporate told me and that I would call the health department and use his letter against him and the company.

I will not make people sick just for a few dollars,or for some stupid corporation.






Closing Time Nightmares: No Jalapeno Bread for You



From u/Scar_of_Talon Tales From Retail:

At this store, the deli closes at 10 and we must leave by 11 (the store itself closes at midnight). This lady comes by at around 10:45 demanding that we tell her where the bakery people are. JL is for Jalapeno Lady, T is for my coworker.

JL: Where are all the bakery people!?

Me: I'm sorry ma'am but I believe they have left already

(Bakery leaves about an hour earlier than us)

JL: Well go check

I run over to the bakery section and look to see if anyone stayed late but they didn't.

Me: I'm sorry ma'am but they aren't here right now, they will be when we reopen at 6am.

JL: Just fill out my order for jalapeno bread!

Me: I'm sorry, we can't do that. We're deli.

My coworker overhears the conversation as the lady won't take no for an answer. To try and just get her to leave my coworker agrees to fill out the order (he used to work bakery).

T: When would you like to pick it up?

JL: Tomorrow

T: I'm sorry ma'am but our orders have to have at least 24 hours notice.

JL: I don't care, just write it down and give it to them.

My coworker keeps on trying to tell her that he can't do the order due to short notice but she pretends not to hear him and walks away.

She didn't even get her bread because she never gave us her name, what time she was going to pick it up, a phone number, or anything. Apparently bakery was really frustrated about the situation (my coworker gave them the semi filled out order form anyways) and decided to not make the order.








Deli Hell: Ranch Temper Tantrum



From u/kahleesky Tales From Retail:

Have you ever witnessed an adult have a temper tantrum before? Its been a while since I’ve worked retail and I’ve since forgotten how miserable and downright childish some customers can be.

Today was my first day starting my new job at a local hot food deli. Its crazy busy and and I’m doing my best to grab what people want and ring them up while still learning the basics. The rush is finally dying down when an older man storms up to the counter and grabs my attention. He glares at me and demands to know why there isn’t any ranch by the salad bar.

I tell him I’ll double check our stock and see if there’s any hiding around. As it turns out, we are completely out of ranch dressing. I tell him as such, and much to my horror he stomps his foot and hurls his bag of chicken over the counter at me. It happens so fast that I simply don’t react.

I exchange glances with a nearby customer to see that she is mirroring my wtf just happened face. What's worse is when I mention it to my coworker he says that he’s done that before the last time we ran out of ranch.






Dumbass Customers: I'll Have that Ham



From   jaydub1001 Tales From Retail:

I work at a supermarket with a deli/bakery. A customer approaches the deli and I ask if I can help her. She wants “this ham here” and points to the ham she wants. I see if we have any open in the case and I ask her how much she wants.

“I’ll take the whole thing.”

“The whole ham?” I ask.

“It’s only 7.99,” she says.

“A pound,” I add.

“Oh,” she says

“Is there a smaller amount you want?”

“How much is it for the whole thing?”

“Lemme look up the code and weigh it.”

It was at that point she probably guessed the weight of the ham and did some mental math and realized that she was going to be spending more that $50 for it.

“On second thought, never mind.” And away she went, shuffling off in awkward embarrassment at the assumption that a large piece of meat was only $7.99.

I wonder if she ever had meat sliced at a deli before.

-- jaydub1001







Deli Dept Hell: Devil woman and the birthday girl


Delislave2From kmooey, Tales From Retail:

I work at a deli at a company run supermarket. Employees at our store make the most of retail hell, we have strong morale because we joke around with each other and customers as well. Our staff are supportive and have each others backs. Our demographic are mostly regulars we see everyday and a handful of crazy.

Anyway it was my birthday a couple of days ago, I chose to work the day as I'm in my 30s so I'm happy to celebrate after work, no biggie. So I'm doing my thing in the deli usual thing, when I get the most ridiculous birthday PA from let's say Sam one of the other departments.

Sam "We'd like to wish our junior Kmooey a sweet 16, sweet 16 never been kissed, she is one of our juniors in the deli departmeny, just training, timid and shy so make sure you go down to the deli and wish our Kmooey a happy birthday" it went something like that but much more hilarious.

Anyway the whole time this announcements going on everyone is laughing and im super embarrassed, hot in the face and laughing. Im chuffed they made an effort. A couple of regulars came up afterwards and wished me a happy birthday and teased me if ive been kissed lately.

But this would not be a worthy story with out devil woman. Straight after the announcement DW storms up to the deli counter with a face scowl like a dogs bum. Looks at me, looks at my name tag.

DW "well he carried on"

Me " haha well hes a great guy, hes priceless" Thinking that she was relating to my embassment.

DW "geeeeeze (eyeroll) who HONESTLY cares".

I stood back with an 'Are you serious?!?' look on my face and stared at here for a while. I was amused at the Audacity! She is speaking to the birthday girl. What a devil woman.

I stepped back into customer service mode and asked her how I could help. She lists off this out of the way order for 'freshly' shaven processed meat that we have already prepared shaven in the case.

My coworker steps in "Oh we are out of stock with that product thats what we have left" (I'd usually be happy to freshly shave a product but I would have the same response at this point)

DW "well I guess you can't help me" storms off.

Staff wished me a happy birthday throughout the day and how funny Sam was on the PA. I brought up how the customer DW reacted, everyone thought her crazy reaction was hilarious and how horrible her existence must be.






Retail Hell Memories: "Just take one out, I'll finish cooking it at home"



From Iownfish, Tales From Retail:

I used to work at a big supermarket chain in the UK. We had a chicken counter, deli counter, cheese etc. The whole shebang!

The chicken counter opened at 9am, we could serve you before that but it'd mainly be chicken pieces, sausages and smaller items that didn't take too long to cook. The whole chickens would be cooked for 8:50am and bagged and in the counter for 9. This was just the way it was done in this store.

One particular day a lady came up to the chicken counter wanting 3 whole chickens, it was 8:15 am, they were nowhere near cooked. I explained to the lady that there was no possible way for her to have any of the whole chickens, I'd be breaking the law to sell her a part cooked chicken and I wasn't willing to lose my job over it. (I was 16, working part time in my first real job).

This ridiculous woman then started to demand the chickens. Screaming at me that I was ruining her weekend and she didn't have another 45 minutes to wait for them to cook so she would finish cooking them at home.

She then went to the customer service desk and told them I'd refused to serve her. A manager came over and I explained the situation to him, he reiterated what i'd already told her and directed her to the raw chickens. She stormed off in a huff.

My manager stayed and spoke to me and not 5 minutes later the woman returned with 3 raw chickens and asked me to cook them. By this point there was only 20 minutes left on the oven timer, my manager explained that we couldn't cook anything from the store and if she waited the 20 minutes then she could take home 3 cooked chickens.

Her words "I don't have the time to wait another 20 minutes, just cook these ones for me instead"

Absolutely mashed my head that woman did.