Easter Tales: I’m gonna faint so I’m stealing this banana


Easter 005a

From  ItsMildlyAdequate, Tales From Retail:

 Easter has struck again at the deli/produce.

This happened on Sunday, the deli was as dead as hell because everyone shopped on the Saturday so we had barely anything to do.

I had started to clean the case while a mate was cleaning the slicer. (Banana lady = BL).

(BL walks up to me) Excuse me.

Me: Hello.

BL: So I was absolutely starving and there wasn’t anything to eat so I’m just eating this banana (at this point it’s already half eaten and she eats in slowly in front of me).

Me: (I literally stare at her at a loss for words. My coworker stops cleaning and stands across from us also unable to talk)

BL: How do I pay for this?

Me: Well the bananas are based on weight so you’re eating it without paying for it.

BL: I know but I was just starving and there’s nothing to eat.

(There’s a self serve snack bar you can go to and you weigh it up and you’re allowed to eat it so long as you bring the bag up as it’s already priced. Keep in mind she can literally pick up a bag of food, pay for it then continue shopping again).

BL: So do I just go up with a banana peel and tell them that I ate one?

Me: Well they’re all different weights so they can’t really do much.

BL: Well they can just make me pay for more bananas right?

Me: You still ate a banana without paying for it? Maybe just don’t do it next time?

(I’ve never had this happen and I didn’t know what the hell to do).

BL then shrugs and walks off. What. The. Hell.

-- ItsMildlyAdequate






Deli Counter Hell: The Knotty Lady



From SnarkySunshine, Tales From Retail:

Female customer walks up to the deli counter today.

Me: Hello. How can I help you today?

Lady: I want 250g of that ham there at the back.

I grab the ham, weigh it, ask if everything is alright and then wrap it up and hand it over.

Me: Here you go. Anything else today?

Lady: No

Me: Ok. Thanks for shopping with us.

I walk off and do deli other stuff.

I turn back and the lady is still there.

Me: Was there anything else I can help you with???

Lady: It's disgraceful! You didn't tie a knot in this.

If you don't tie a knot in the plastic it goes off quicker!

She then proceeds to rip the paper off and ties a knot in the plastic bag before wrapping it up again.

Lady: I'm going to make a complaint about this. You should always tie a knot in the plastic

How is it supposed to stay fresh otherwise?

She then storms off.

Jokes on her though, just last month the whole deli team had a step by step refresher on how to wrap product correctly. Pictures of each stage were included.

Knots were not.






Grocery Store Hell: Is the 'fresh salmon' "fresh"?



From Tritefull, Tales From Retail:

So, I work at a grocery store in an upper-class area of town. Sometimes I'm a clerk, but I also work extensively in the fisheries section of our dear shop. The other day a gentleman approached the counter and I was the only one working.

"Is the salmon fresh?" he asked. I replied that it was. Perplexity consumed his face. "Surely it can't be, it had to come on a truck didn't it?" "Yes, but it was caught this morning!" "But it isn't salmon season." At this point the shell-shock kicked in and I thought to myself 'like what in the hell does he want?' "No, it isn't salmon season but it was caught this morning from the salmon farm down the road see." "OH!" he puffed, "well it isn't friggen fresh is it then!?" Then I lost my temper. "Well, sorry but we haven't a lake out back where we haul the closest, pinkest actinopterygian that swims at me!" He turnt red and trotted away with the salmon in his hand.

I realise that I probably shouldn't have reacted like that, but this actually has a happy ending. The next day, when my manager was in, he called me laughing and told me I made his day because apparently the chap was a real pain up the backside.

You really learn how to sense all the different types of neurosis when you're a university student working part time at the grocers.





Dumbass Customers: "Do I just put these on and start grabbing?"



From  smakorvigabitar Tales From Retail:

I work at a somewhat large grocery store, and we have a big "pick-and-mix-yourself-salad bar". I have been so fantastically lucky (not) to get to tend/open/close this salad bar from time to time.

This weekend I had just closed the salad bar and was finishing up. Let me set the scene: All the containers had lids on them, all the spoons/tongs were gone and the lights in the salad bar were off. All the little screens on every container were turned off and black. It's obviously closed, with nothing on it except cleaning supplies and single-use plastic gloves on a shelf on top (which we use for sanitary reasons while filling it up etc).

Enter clueless man.

CL: Hi! Can I just ask you, how does your salad bar work?

Me: Hi! Im sorry but it's clo...(interrupted)

CL: Do I just put these on and start grabbing?

He is holding two of our single-use gloves and makes a grabbing movement in the air.

Me: Uhm...no, we have tongs and stuff. But unfortunately I have already closed it for the day. Sorry!

I imagine him going through all the 30+ containers just grabbing stuff with his hands. Would you change gloves between every container or just between customers...

-- smakorvigabitar