Mistaken Identity: Oh Home Depot boss, how do you do it?



From kingbankai,Tales From Retail:

I use to be a SSR (Special Services Rep) for Home Depot for 8 years (18-26). It was a fun run. Likable people, had many laughs. I started working part-time and overnight on-call for IT work. I loved it so much more. 4 years ago I changed careers (resigning from Home Depot) to IT for amazing pay for my area. I now work for an engineering company.

I went to Home Depot early this month and I see the store manager. He looked extremely excited and confused to see me. Made a Willem Dafoe face I guess. He then starts talking to me about store numbers like store managers do. Then he asked me when I was clocking in that day. I responded with sarcasm. He responded...

"No but seriously, I have some suspicious markdowns for you to look at."

Me - ".............?"

After clearing that up immediately a customer came up to me asking where the weather stripping was. I pointed her to the store manager with the following.

"Good luck."









Retail Hell Memories: We Should Have Computers That Track The Clothes Position All Around The Shop



From biffybeefa, Tales From Retail:

This happened about a month or so ago.

I work in a fairly busy department store. It's really popular with cheap prices so we get all sorts in there, some lovely people and some that treat you like dirt.

The staff womens changing room and computer sign-in is at the back of the shop, so we've to walk through the shop to get to the stock room, where our managers tell us where we are assigned for the day. We usually make a beeline straight for the stock room because if we get stopped by somebody we'll be marked late.

So, this day I was walking along to the stock room, just in front of the doors, when I hear this woman shouting behind me, "Come here...I said come here, where are you going? Get over here now". I wandered into the stock room, figuring by the tone of voice that it was somebody talking to somebody they knew. I walk up to my manager and hear a woman behind me at the stock room doors, "What are you doing? I said get over here" she shouts, at me, and motioning at me to go over to her, pointing at her feet.

At this point I'm in a state of shock and look to my manager. My manager looks at me, and I guess figured I've no idea what is going on by my reaction, and wanders out to the woman and I hear her complaining about me to my manager, "I'm so sorry I wasn't talking to you, she left and completely ignored me".

My manager comes in, I'm freaking that I've actually gotten a complaint, and she asks me to check a coat for the customer. Of course this coat is reduced so the only ones left are the ones left on the floor, so I get the happy job of telling the woman.

I head out to her, where she is chatting to her husband and giving out about me with her back turned to me. I try and explain that the coat is reduced and the only sizes left are the ones on the rail.

"Okay...so check the computer".

"Well see it's reduced so it's only shown as reduced on the computer, it's cleared from the stock room".

"Not that computer, the computer that keeps track of where the clothes are in the shop"...she gets annoyed by my reaction, "the computer that'll say this coat has been picked up and left in the home department or the accessories department".

She actually thought we have tags on clothes that monitor where they are in the shop at all times and if they've been moved from their department. I had to explain that we didn't have that, got a dirty look and she walked off giving out. Luckily my manager thought she was horrible and was on my side about it. Honestly thought I'd be lectured about apparently ignoring a customer.

TL;DR: shouted at and ordered by a customer I didn't realise was talking to me. Proceeds to complain about me to my manager. Thinks we track clothes around the shop.





Toxic Managers: The Tale of Dudebro the Manager



Hey there, folks! Stepford Snarker here with another tale of terror. Submitted for your approval, I present to you the tale of Dudebro.

There's some managers you enjoy working with. They're decent, reasonable people who actually give a damn about the people they work with. These managers are a rarity. There's managers who are a pain in the ass to deal with, but they're still tolerable enough that you force yourself suck it up. And then there's some managers who are so idiotic, so incompetent, so utterly and competely ill-suited for their job that everyone has only one question: “How the hell did he get to be a manger?”

Dudebro was definitely the third type. Now, normally I try to be nice. I give most people in my stories regular names as pseudonyms. But in this case, “Dudebro” is the most apt thing I can call this man. Picture, if you will, an overgrown frat boy cliché: the spiky blonde hair, the tribal tattoo, the tendency to casually say stuff like “Say, girl” and mean it.  Are you cringing yet?

Dudebro, despite being in his early thirties at the very least, acted like he was still in college and expected the pledges-- ahem, sorry, employees-- to pick up the slack. Whatever personal squabbles that existed between employees and departments, the one thing everyone could agree on was that Dudebro did not belong in the position of manager.

In the mornings, if he was the opening manager, he would sit in the back office and eat a leisurely breakfast, taking his sweet time if he were called to the front for anything. Once he finished his lunch, he'd wander off ostensibly to assist in getting the stock onto the floor. Again, he would take his time in returning to the registers if he was needed. Other managers, including our head manager, when faced with the same situation, would simply hand over their badge to one of us (usually me) to scan for OCTOCAROL-265overrides and voids to avoid having to be called up for anything short of more money needed or a serious emergency. But, no, that was no good to Dudebro. Instead, it meant waiting a good five minutes or more for him to slowly saunter up to the front of the store if anything rang up for the wrong price, needed to be returned, etc.  This was a standard day of working with Dudebro; at least once, I expected one of the hyper-competent or ultra-twitchy managers to snap and tell Dudebro to work elsewhere.  Sadly, that never happened.

I cannot count the number of times Dudebro attempted to do some simple work-related task and finally voluntold me to do it. And it was always done with this big phony smile and sugary-sweet tone, like I should be happy to do his work for him. And in case you think I'm exaggerating, he actually flat-out said this on one occasion: “I'm so glad you're working today, Stepford! It means I don't have to do anything.” I positively hated working with him because it effectively meant that I was stuck doing my work and a good chunk of his, as well. (Not to mention that most days, I was effectively doing the work of multiple people to begin with, as I mentioned in my post about quitting.)

This story has a happy ending, luckily. After several months of Dudebro's sheer incompetence, he ended up quitting, supposedly to work at a friend's brewpub. His replacement, who started not too long before I left, was a much better person to work with: intelligent, friendly, and infinitely more competent.

---Stepford Snarker




Pet Store Hell: But... Will they turn gay?



From Xxmixtape_meltdown Tales From the Pet Shop:

Had another good one yesterday happen.

Young gentleman and his girlfriend look at some hamsters. He picks out a nice male hamster. He then points and says,

"I want two"

I tell him firmly, no hamsters can not live together you'll need another cage.

"Wow, that's so... So emotional"

Uh? Ok. So he runs off to tell his girlfriend. By this time I run. I'm trying to dodge and weave customers and hide. No luck. He found me.

He then says "I'll just get another male BUT WAIT like, they won't turn gay will they? From being together? I can't have gay hamsters"


The customer behind me even did a silent mouthed "wtf" to me.

I told him again, I already told you one per cage. That's it. And explained why. He wandered off and the wtf customer stepped in and says "you're helping me now until he leaves I'm going to try to save you."

Is this real life? I can't even.







Coworker Hell: Help me setup email on my work phone


Retail hell underground 025a

From   jaythewise  Lady I Don't Work Here:

I work in IT. At the place I started at I got my foot in the door by doing desktop and I still do this to some degree when my team needs the help but nowadays I do more project work and training. So many people at my 2000 person company recognize me but I typically do not remember all the people I interact with.

Anyways I am eating my lunch in the mall on my lunch break and I see someone from my work I do not know very well but he recognizes me. (Note that in theory we do not get paid for lunch breaks but I am on salary so whatever...)

Anyways dude from my work shuffles over and asks if I can help him and his friend (I will call his buddy) setup work email on the personal phones they happen to have handy.

I tell him "that work email as per our corporate policy is not allowed on a personal device."

Dude: "no you misunderstand, we will only use it every once in awhile and I know a few people have this setup"

ME: "well that may well be but typically it's pretty rare and vetted, besides I don't know our exchange server address off the top of my head. Also if I setup this up for you, our security team will probably disable it fairly quickly..."

Dude: "can you find out the exchange server so you can help us?" Ignoring everything else I said

ME: "nope you would need approval, so give our Service Desk a call." (Also important to note that everyone is supposed to call our Service Desk for IT stuff, for everything...)

Dude: "look this will only take a second"

His buddy pushes his phone at me....

Buddy: "Ya I know the exchange server actually!"

ME: "do you work for my blah blah blah company?"

Buddy: "Nope but I hear you are the go to guy at your company"

ME: "Nope"

Buddy: "what? haha"

ME: " I dont help random people with IT stuff unless I get paid, I am eating lunch, go away..."

Dude: "haha no need to be mad man, we were just looking for a little help"

Me: " I didnt catch your name...."

Dude: " I am jackass"

Me: "Last name?"

Dude: "ummm blah blah?"

Me: " Ok thanks, if you need help call the Service Desk please"

Dude "....." walks away.

I ended up calling the guy's manager and section leader to report this moron.

Dude gets canned about a month later. I am unsure if it's related but fuck him I am not your fucking IT monkey you plug.

Edit: I don't mind helping people at all really. But really when you work for my company you agree to a IT policy that explicitly basically states don't mix your work IT stuff/devices on your personal IT stuff/devices. So it's a pretty well known policy.

-- jaythewise



Apparently I Was Flirting With Him... News To Me!


Carolanne tee heeFrom irememberthepotatohotalesfromthejob

I work for a storage company and I have some tales built up from almost 9 years of service.

Sorry for formatting I am on mobile.

I few years ago I had a customer who my coworker caught inside with his storage unit with the door down.

Customer is “Romeo” (not his real name).

Coworker is CW.

CW told him very nicely that he cannot be in his unit with the door down and left him alone.

Romeo comes running into the office and starts yelling that my CW is singling him out because he’s racist, and doesn’t respect him.

I calmly repeated what my CW told him he needs to leave his door open when he is here.

Romeo suddenly points his finger at me and says. “Don’t you flirt with me! I have a virgin princess! Don’t look at me, and don’t talk to me.”

I repeated what I said, and he flipped out telling me that he wasn’t interested in me and that I needed to stop... my coworker jumped in and told him to leave the office.

CW looks at me. “Damn irememberthepotatoho you need to cut out that flirty behavior of yours.”

We both laugh at that.

A few days pass and Romeos girlfriend walks in and tells me that her boyfriend means well and that I should not worry about what he says. She said that my CW is racist and wanted to lodge a complaint. I told her that I will speak with my CW. She asked for the bathroom key and left. An hour passed by and I needed to get the key back for my other customers. I knocked on the bathroom door and no answer so I go to their unit and they were both sitting and talking.

Freddy and HagThey said that my cleaning lady took all the soap and toilet paper out of the bathroom and that’s why they couldn’t use it. I told them that I would fix that, took the bathroom key and inspected the bathroom and found it fully stocked.

Romeo comes running into the office. “How dare you flirt with me right on front of my princess!”

Me: ??? I just wanted the bathroom key back...

Romeo starts ranting about how I should never approach them like they did something wrong, and that I need to stop my flirtation with him.

I just stare at him until he leaves.

We ended up terminating their contract for trespassing after hours, and you know... to stop me from being so dang flirty with him.