From u/schuss42, TalesFromRetail

I’m at the National Retail Federation conference in NYC. 40,000 retail people swarming around this convention. Of course, I’m reading TFR while I eat my lunch because I’m addicted... and it seemed appropriate.

In line at a busy food vendor, 20 minute wait as it’s peak lunch rush. Two ahead of me Water Guy is ringing up, Fashion Brand Exec is behind him, and then me. We are hungry, it’s a mob, we are juggling our food and wallets. Food booth is a counter with a prep line, mini fridge of sodas, cooks on the back wall. There is no “back room”.

WG wants a bottle of water with his meal.

Very Friendly Cashier says, “sorry sir, we are out of water. But some of the other stores have some or we have soda and tea”.

WG: No, I only want water

VFC: I’m sorry sir, I just said, we don’t have any. If you’d like to ring up your meal it looks like that line across the way is pretty short and you could buy one there.

WG: Get me one from the back

VFC... repeats his offer looking confused

WG: I don’t care about your issues, get me one from wherever you keep them or go over to that other store and get me one.

... and here he utters the line ...

WG: I work in retail, I know how this works.

... remember where we are...

FBE has had enough and she steps up to take charge.

FBE: Hey dumbass, we all work in retail and that’s NOT how this works. Pay your bill and step off!

VFC contains his smirk just barely... FBE enjoyed her free cookie immensely I think. Also she probably outranked that guy by 5 levels.

When I got to the register I cracked “Hey, I work in retail..” and shared a good laugh with VFC. It’s fun to laugh at terrible people.

--u/schuss42

Read more Entitled Customer stories here!

From Dianne, September, 2009:

I was at the Lazy N, and was standing behind a customer at the E-bar, waiting to get a mocha. The customer initially ordered a tall latte. The barista marked up the cup and then said "$3.42 Please!"

The customer gawked and said HOW MUCH?

From Jit, September 2009:

I was ringing up this customer the other day and I told them their total.

“Your total is one fifty one thirty.”

"What is my total?”

“One hundred fifty one dollars and thirty cents.”

I thought I was making myself pretty clear. Yes?  

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Really? Okay. “I mean, your total is one hundred and fifty one dollars and thirty cents.”

She said that it still didn’t make sense and handed me a stack of bills.

Counted – four twenties, two tens, eight fives.

“Ma’am, I have one hundred and forty dollars. I need eleven dollars and thirty cents more.”

“How much is my total?”

*Sigh* I repeat the total and tell her to hang on a second and I’d write it down for her.

By this point in time, the customers behind her are trying not to laugh, doing a very poor job of it. All four customers with four decent sized orders. 

When she took the paper and read it, she shook her head and handed me twelve more one-dollar bills.

I gave her the 70 cents change I owed her, thanked her for shopping at my place of employment, and smiled.

After she left, my WHOLE line started laughing hysterically. My manager came by to see what had happened, we were so loud. 

--Jit

From RHUer:

I was at the fitting room helping the operator hang up massive amounts of clothing.  We get to the bottom of the cart, and a lady comes out of the fitting room.

Idiot Customer: I left clothes out here, where are they?

(as the operator would have put aside anything if ask too,so must not have been asked)

Retail Slave: Uuuummm I don't know, do you know what they were?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

Retail Slave: Well, do you know what brand they were?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

Retail Slave: OK how about what color?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

She looks at me with glazed over eyes like she might go psycho on me and attack me with a hangar because I can't find the clothes she lost.

Retail Slave: Lady if you don't know what the clothes were, what brand they were, of what color they were, how did you know you left clothes out here?

Idiot Customer: [speechless]

I was at the fitting room helping the operator hang up massive amounts of clothing.  We get to the bottom of the cart, and a lady comes out of the fitting room.

Idiot Customer: I left clothes out here, where are they?

(as the operator would have put aside anything if ask too,so must not have been asked)

Retail Slave: Uuuummm I don't know, do you know what they were?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

Retail Slave: Well, do you know what brand they were?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

Retail Slave: OK how about what color?

Idiot Customer: I don't know.

She looks at me with glazed over eyes like she might go psycho on me and attack me with a hangar because I can't find the clothes she lost.

Retail Slave: Lady if you don't know what the clothes were, what brand they were, of what color they were, how did you know you left clothes out here?

Idiot Customer: [speechless]

--RHUer

From u/ericaferrica I Don't Work Here Lady:

Never thought I'd have one of these stories but here we go! This weekend my partner and I were doing some Fall cleaning and ran out to do some errands in the middle of it. I was wearing dark leggings with marijuana leaves and a hoodie, my partner wearing basketball shorts and a hoodie - we had been cleaning all day and didn't really care about our attire as our errands were supposed to be a short trip. One of the stores we stopped in was Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I don't think they have an official "uniform," the staff we could see were mostly wearing casual clothing (jeans, leggings, sneakers, etc).

We're walking through aisles looking at stuff when I see an older woman at the end of the long hall waving her arms at me frantically. I stop and start waving back, thinking "do I know her?" and just can't recognize her from afar. I wait as she walks towards me and I can tell that I don't know her. She will be "Older Lady (OL)" and I'll be me.

When she gets up to me, she says:

OL: "Hi could you tell me where ____ is?" (I don't remember what she actually wanted).

Me: "Oh I'm sorry, I don't work here."

OL: "Oh no really? But you look like the other workers and I can't find anybody"

Me: "I promise I don't work here" - points at pants

She loses it, she lets out this huge HAAAAAA! and starts laughing her ass off. "OOOOOH yeah you don't work here!" I noticed a female employee a little further down that hallway so as she's laughing and looking around, I point at the other woman (who also is wearing leggings and a long sleeve shirt, so I can understand OL's confusion). She thanked me and walked away.

She saw me at another point in the store later walking around with the employee I pointed to. "That's the nice pot lady that tried to help me!" <3

Tldr: Older woman thought I worked at Sleep, Shit, and So Much More. I didn't. She liked my weed leggings and called me nice.

Never thought I'd have one of these stories but here we go! This weekend my partner and I were doing some Fall cleaning and ran out to do some errands in the middle of it. I was wearing dark leggings with marijuana leaves and a hoodie, my partner wearing basketball shorts and a hoodie - we had been cleaning all day and didn't really care about our attire as our errands were supposed to be a short trip. One of the stores we stopped in was Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I don't think they have an official "uniform," the staff we could see were mostly wearing casual clothing (jeans, leggings, sneakers, etc).

We're walking through aisles looking at stuff when I see an older woman at the end of the long hall waving her arms at me frantically. I stop and start waving back, thinking "do I know her?" and just can't recognize her from afar. I wait as she walks towards me and I can tell that I don't know her. She will be "Older Lady (OL)" and I'll be me.

When she gets up to me, she says:

OL: "Hi could you tell me where ____ is?" (I don't remember what she actually wanted).

Me: "Oh I'm sorry, I don't work here."

OL: "Oh no really? But you look like the other workers and I can't find anybody"

Me: "I promise I don't work here" - points at pants

She loses it, she lets out this huge HAAAAAA! and starts laughing her ass off. "OOOOOH yeah you don't work here!" I noticed a female employee a little further down that hallway so as she's laughing and looking around, I point at the other woman (who also is wearing leggings and a long sleeve shirt, so I can understand OL's confusion). She thanked me and walked away.

She saw me at another point in the store later walking around with the employee I pointed to. "That's the nice pot lady that tried to help me!" <3

Tldr: Older woman thought I worked at Sleep, Shit, and So Much More. I didn't. She liked my weed leggings and called me nice.

--u/ericaferrica