Fitting Room Signage for Piggy People



From Hiedi, June, 2010:

Here we have a "real" fitting room sign! (unlike the fantasy ones on RHU) Hiedi spotted this one:

I took my son out today to buy new pants (silly boy has grown 7 inches in like 3 months) and I saw this notice outside the fitting rooms.

I asked which retail slave came up with the sign. When the gal who posted this sign came forward, I said "As a former fitting room slave, can I hug you?" 

We did, and there was a level of understanding and respect between us only retail slaves forced to clean up bodily fluids from fitting rooms could understand.


and here is the fantasy fitting room sign Hiedi was mentioning...


see more Fitting Room Signage here.

for full on Fitting Room Nightmares go here





Classic Piggy Shopper "Put Back" Moves


From Kerry, October, 2008:

RHU Fitting Room Nightmare Correspondent, has captured the aftermath of a Retail Hell animal we have all come to call a Piggy Shopper...

In this pictorial she captures ONE Piggy's Put Back Moves that all occurred within seconds of each other.

The Toss It Move:


A favorite of lazy piggy shoppers with no energy.


The Shove It Move:


Why fold? It's easier to cram...


Bomb the Floor Move:


After tiring from tossing and shoving, drop it to the floor!



 see more Piggy Shopper Hell here






Retail Hell Halloween Horror Show: CREEPS AND PIGGIES   



From Kerry, November, 2010:

Costume stores weren't the only ones in Halloween Retail Hell!!! For some reason the piggies and creeps decided to invade my store and scare the living shit out of me.

All the pics below are from Halloween afternoon???? WTF?! Why weren't these fucking piggies at home making messes with pumpkins and M & M's like they should be???!

But no, they had to come into my department and throw clothes around like it was fucking laundry day.


 Clearance Rack Massacre. Yes, I needed a chainsaw to clean it up.

Hangar Hellraiser in 3 fucking D.


Denim zombies! Get me some gasoline and a match.

An intimates rejection. Intimates is on the other side of the store.


 A not so rare occurrence of Paranormal Piggy Activity.




The fitting rooms were a constant fucking mess. If I had caught the bitch that did this, in honor of Halloween I might have turned into Michael Meyers and strangled her with one of the jeans she left turned inside out!!! AAAAAAAAAAGH!!

If I only had a blow torch and a Jigsaw mask I could've played SAW the retail version. Ugh.

Sad to say, my night of extra hellacious retail horror show doesn't end here.

Early in the evening (there was still people shopping and making fucking messes), this guy came in with his 12 year old daughter. He looked pretty young to have a 12 year old, but whatever. The girl goes into the fitting room to try stuff on and he sits down and waits.

Carolanne 024I was nearby hanging things up and folding returns and all that, and obviously I'm never happy to be working, but today had been so bad with all the huge fucking messes, I wasn't smiling.(like I'm ever smiling in the 9th circle of hell).

This guy is now staring at me and says:

"Smile sweetheart."

WFT??? I'm sorry, what did you say fuckface?????!

I wanted to beat him with the hanger in my hand, but instead I ended up thinking he was an okay dude just being sympathetic, and I tell him about cleaning up after the pigs all day, having to work on Halloween, and how I hate my job and can't wait to quit.... 

He seemed totally understanding, so I stupidly kept going, and added, "....and they are keeping the store open till ten."

His eyes lit up. A creepy smile crawled across his face and he said:

"I can definitely look at you until ten."


*insert screaming and vomiting*

I walked away and cleaned the other side of the department until he left with his daughter.

Around 9 pm I was cleaning all that denim out of the fitting rooms. As I exited the fitting rooms onto the main floor, it was just like a scary-ass nightmare on Elm Street, where Freddy Krueger morphs out of the scenery ready to attack.

Creep face had come back.

But thankfully not alone. Tagging along side of him was some girl who kept calling him BABE.

Carolanne 018Oh yes,this super douche asshole appeared to have a chick already, yet he was still hitting on me.

I was actually relieved and ignored them.

So they're shopping around on one side of the department and I'm in the middle by the fitting room again. Suddenly he wanders away from her and makes a b-line for me. Then walked up to me and said,"I'm going to be checking you out the rest of the night."

....ummm CREEEPY MUCH?!

I wanted to pound his face and tear his fucking voice box out of his demon-faced head.  

But I said nothing and continued working, all the time fantasizing about him falling into a lake full of starving piranhas.

Finally she wants to leave for the men's department and takes off with him trailing...


The super douche could walk by me again while I'm folding denim and say, "Smile sweetheart, cheer up."

Really?! Dude are you really gonna say that to me??, you slimy fuckin asshole!

Even though I wanted to tear his balls off and shove' em down his throat or tell him off on the spot, I held back. I knew it would end badly...for me...I may hate my job, but not looking to get fired from hell right now.

So I said: "I won't cheer up until I see my boyfriend when I get out of here tonight."

He gives me a blank stare and walks off, while I watch him walk his creepy ass away, burning fiery holes into the back of his ugly head with my death glare.

That's right, I think, go fuck right off, you skanky douche.

I never want to work on Halloween again.



see more Clothing Hell stories here

and more of the Creepy Custys here

for more frights with Fitting Room Nightmares go here






Just Another Day in Retail Hell on Black Friday


From Kerry, November, 2011:


In the fitting room: a fucking banana peel. REALLY?!?!



Here you have a child's dirty sock stuck on a jeans rack. WTF??? I have no words... How does this even happen?



So now I'm the fucking shoe department.



Black Friday piggy trails. I should have just called housekeeping and asked for one of those brooms with the long brushes so I can just push it all into a fiery pit of molten lava.



see more Fitting Room Hell here

see more Black Friday Hell here