Call Center Hell: THE GOOD, THE FUNNY, AND THE DOUCHEBAGS

 

Sisucall1From Sisu, November, 2010:

I fucking hate people.

Well, no, I actually like most of humanity, but today was a day from hell.

For every nice person that called, 10 more assholes called to bitch me out.

One guy had me in tears because he was such a dick.

Has anyone ever seen a promotion without fine print? No? You're all smart enough to know that to 'get a deal' you have to read the whole thing?

And you know that claiming you didn't read the details won't fly?

AWESOME. 100 points for you.

This guy made up his own promotion, told me I was worthless, argued over hotel policies for a good 10 minutes even AFTER I explained that hotels do set their own policies and rates especially regarding pets, told me I was worthless a few more times, threatened to sue me, and then mocked and belittled me the rest of the call.

I absolutely remember his name, and I swear to God if I get him again, well, hell hath no fury like that of a pissed off pregnant lady.

The managers said to let them know if he calls me back somehow so they can terminate his account.

CallcenterskullThen there was the French-Canadian bitch that informed me "I do not care how things should be, I want to know how things are!" to which I did actually reply "I'm telling you how things are if you would listen!"

Okay, I snapped at her, but she did walk into that one.

She was another that didn't bother reading anything and expected the world to fall at her feet.

No night from hell is complete without a perv calling in, so naturally I got that too.

It started off innocently enough-ish. The guy had some heavy breathing, but I chalked it up to something - anything - innocent. I wasn't officially creeped out until he kept calling me "honey", saying my voice was irresistible, doing all he could do to keep me talking, and then out of nowhere asking me to hold on while doing some interesting noises.

Sorry for the image.

I'm sure it could have been innocent, but I'm not naive.

After all that, the drunks calling in just kind of topped my night off.

I don't know why, but there seems to be a certain segment of the southern population that absolutely loves to call on the weekend as drunk as can be.

I'm not anti-drinking at all. I don't drink now because I'm pregnant, but before I got knocked up I didn't have an issue with the occasional drink.

I do try to avoid getting myself into situations where I'll give anyone and anything my credit card number when I won't be able to remember it the next day. Speshul.

Not every call was bad though, I did have a few that if I could have given them upgrades I would have.

The notable good ones were the group of Tenneseeans taking over Manhattan during the Thanksgiving Parade.

CallThe gentleman actually said, and I do quote, "When I get thar, the firs' thang I'm doin' is muggin' someone!"

So what if he doesn't have a grasp on New York? It was hilarious.

The best call though was from the happiest Asian guy in the world.

He was just fun and happy and sweet. Everything was "Okay! Perfect" and "Yes! Very Good!". He was one of those people that you couldn't help smiling the whole time you were talking to him because he just made you feel good about yourself.

May karma reward you greatly, Mr. Lee. I hope I'm not around when karma hits the Dick from Hell. It would be too entertaining to watch him get his.

Really though, what does that say about the douche when he's bullying a girl that he has never met? The guy sounded old, has an older name, so did he learn nothing about how to treat a lady?

Honestly, trying to be a Big Bad Man to a younger woman just says you're a fucktard and fail at life.

Where the hell is a meteorite when you need one?

--Sisu

Oh, if anyone is curious about the non work life, Baby is doing great, I'm okay, and babydaddy decided he didn't need to stick around and stepped out. It's been a lot to deal with lately, but hopefully I'll be strong enough to handle it. If anyone has any tips on how to balance being a single mom and working retail/service, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

 

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Funny Customer Situations: The quicker you tell me what you want, the less embarrassing it will be

 

Jason 005

From u/BeautyNoBeast Tales From Retail:

So over the summer I worked 3rd shift in a gas station in my hometown, so I knew a lot of the people that came in. One of my favorite interactions was as follows.

I was in the middle of some boring cleaning chore or another when the little chime rang out letting me know the front doors had opened. I walked back to the counter to find my cousin waiting. The moment he sees me his face drops and I can tell what's coming.

Now I should mention at my gas station we keep small, easy to steal things behind the counter such as lighters, 5 hour energy, and... condoms.

He will be Mumbling Cousin, MC for short.

MC: Hey, could I get....(here he trailed off and I honestly couldn't hear him.)

Me: Sorry what?

He just gives me the death glare for making him repeat the dreaded phrase.

MC: I said... could I get a box of condoms?

We have a few different kinds so I walk back and ask him which kind he wants.

MC: just grab a box, I dont care what kind.

So I check him out and, while I have remained extremely professional and tried really hard not to laugh at him or make him feel even more awkward, as I handed him the bag I said my usual "have a good night." That set us both off laughing and he left flipping me off.(out of familial love of course.)

--u/BeautyNoBeast