Funny Customer Moments: Excuse me. I look for cider?


Jason 019zz

From u/JammyThing Tales From Retail:

Thought it might nice to post a funny story on here for change.

I was working on shop floor when a girl in her early twenties approaches me, she smiles and says “Excuse me. I look for cider?”

The store I work at is in a town of mixed ethnicities and varying cultural backgrounds, so it's quite common to have a customer who's English is not great.

I smile back, tell her no problem and take her to the alcohol section where I show her our range of ciders.

The woman looks a little shocked at this, she shakes her head, gives a nervous laugh and says “I sorry. My English not very good. I not want this. I want cider.”

I smile and tell her that what is in front of her is cider.

“No, no. I maybe say it wrong. I want cidre...sid-er...” The woman tries to say the word a number of different ways in the hope it might mean something else. At the same time I'm trying to think of what item there is in the store that sounds like cider.

At this point she gets an idea and pulls out a translation book, much to both our delight. She flicks through the pages, mumbling the word “cider.”. She finds the word she wants in her language then points to the English translation and says “Here, cider!”

“Ah...” I said. “...You want sausages.”

Turns out that her friends who could speak English better than her, thought it would be funny to tell her the wrong names for certain things.








Cashier Hell: So used to customer ridiculousness that I didn’t realise someone was joking


Carolanne 072

From u/clairewil, Tales From Retail:

I work at a large fashion chain, and yesterday I had a customer approach my till with one of our bags, which usually means a return. No sweat, we have a generous return policy, and we would get roughly 20 returns a day. Funny guy will be FG and I will be Me.

FG: Hi, I’d like to return these pants.

Me: No worries, Sir.

FG: Oh, the tag came off and my dog chewed them a bit, that’s okay right?

(He was joking, but I deal with so many cases like this that I just assumed he was serious)

Me: (Holding back a sigh) Oh... well, if you just show me your receipt I’ll see what I can do for you.

FG: What’s a receipt?

I stared at him with gritted teeth for a long couple of moments before he pulled the untouched pants with tags attached and the receipt out of the bag. I finally cottoned on and started to laugh. I had to apologise to him and explain that I’d thought he was serious, because I literally had a lady try to return a top with cigarette burns last week and “my dog chewed it” isn’t really out of the ordinary for us.

The dude was super nice and quite shocked that I hadn’t caught on that he was joking straight away. Got a bit of retail sympathy and then he went on his way.







Amusing Customers: Cute, but you'd be beeping out the store


Jason 019xx

From  u/Sympa-tea Tales From Retail:

Rather than post one of many frustrating customer stories, I really want to share this endearing one about a sweet old man. I tend to type a lot so TL;DR below.

Backstory: I work at a large popular retail store in the mid-west. Formerly fashions, now cashier (more hours and pay). I was in self check out today.

Main story: I had just finished dealing with some customers giving me a hard time on alcohol. (The whole one friend has the ID, but the other friend is paying for it and their ID is in the car thing.) and an old man bumbles his way to one of the machines.

His machine pings and re-pings me over with bagging errors. Eventually I notice he has a cologne case expensive enough to be sealed away in clear security box. He thanks me kindly, then I get to work on removing the security box.

After finishing the removal and helping more customers, I notice the man again out of the corner of my eye. He's still there, staring the machine's robo-soul down. Then I realize... he's swiped his card, but hasn't pressed the (very prominent) pay button. This happens a lot at my store for some reason. So I go over lean past him, and push the button.

Me: Boop~

Him: Huh? Oh! I'm so sorry! That... I... I should've known.

Me: S'all good. Lots of people miss it. (Dunno why though)

I think I'm done with him, when the guy stops me with a polite grin and a question.

Him: Can I have the box back?

Me: The what...?

He pulls out the cologne.

Him: The one this was in!

Me: Ah... I'm afraid that's our security device. You'd be beeping out of the store.

Him: It would make a great fishing lure box! That's why I grabbed it.

Me: I'm afraid we don't sell our security devices. I'm sorry.

Him: Aww....Alright, you have a good day.

Me: You too! Sorry.

I couldn't help but be amused. Though I hope he needed the cologne too...otherwise I'd feel bad about the wasted purchase. (I mean there is the return counter but still.)

TL;DR: Old man who I helped out on the self check out machines is more interested in the security device than the item it secures. Sweetly insists it's the perfect fishing lure holder.










Craft Store Jokester: You should be ashamed....


Carolanne2 097

From  spaz1020, Tales From Retail:

I'm just finishing up a custom framing order at the craft store I work at, when an older woman strolls over to me with her cart and finger in wagging position. Before I can even get a word out she just says

C: "you all should be ashamed"

So I'm thinking here we go, she saw how much my sale was and she thinks our prices are ridiculous. But she keeps going

C: "you should be ashamed for having sales. We drove all this way out here just to spend money!"

confused the hell out of me for a second

Then she starts smiling and laughing because she actually just enjoys our store.

She got me good I tell you what.

-- spaz1020