Retail Hell Memories: How I ruined a marriage with one phone call



From u/maladygris Tales From Retail:

So a few years ago I worked in a furniture store. In the store you could apply for a credit card to finance your purchase. I had an older lady come in (probably mid 50's) with a man in his 20's whom I assumed was some sort of family member. So we put through her application and set up an order with some previous details that had been stored in the system from years ago (usually attached to a surname and phone number).

Everything went well, the loan was approved and the lady and man left the store. Several days later, when their order was in stock, I called the number on the order and was greeted with the voice of another man. He knew the customer, but he had no idea about the loan or the furniture. It quickly clicked in my head that she was eloping. As when I asked about her marital status earlier, she replied: "I'm married but I might not be soon", which I played off as a joke.

Her now husband then asked if she had anyone in store with her, and I said I didn't remember, not wanting to reveal anything catastrophic. Then he asked for a copy of the order, which I provided, as it was his email address on the order and I am obliged to.

Later that day I was met with a wall of shouting and insults as the customer berated me over the phone for ruining her marriage. Telling me that her husband didn't know. (Mind you, she had a copy of the order the whole time with her now husbands phone and email on it). She then proceeded to come into the store and shout at me again for another few hours, requesting my manager call her husband and explain to him the order was a mistake and that we had to cancel it. Which we did.

A week rolls by and she comes in and asks us to reinstate the order, this time with very large discounts for her "inconvenience". She filed complaints about me to the head office and I was written up twice (but refused to sign). The customer subsequently had her goods delivered to the young man's address...

TL;DR A lady orders some furniture with us preparing to secretly elope. I called her husband's mobile and tipped him off by accident.





Retail Hell Memories: Schrödinger's Box


Carolanne2 053

From u/bunnyfrog_1st Tales From Retail:

Another story from Furniture Clearance Shop. We were having a clear of old stuff, so a lot of boxed stock was on the floor, with display models on top of, or beside each pile. Most boxes were clearly labelled or unambiguously under the thing they contained.

Cue Looks With His Hands Man, who decided to open boxes as he went. All boxes. The heavy duty ones which were glued shut so your furniture didn't escape on the way home. The following exchange occurred, with substitution language for the sensitive.

Me: Sorry sir, can you not open anything that you don't intend to purchase?

LWHHM: Who do you think you are talking to, you (silly sausage)? You saying I'm a (wally)?

Me: I'm just asking you not to open boxes, other customers might want them and we have to ta...

LWHHM: Don't you tell me what to do (my good man). I came to this (tooting) shop to look at (lovely) furniture. I've got to check is the right (glorious) colour!

Me: I gathered sir, but the display models are right...

LWHHM: Are you (delicately) saying I'm (a dumb dumb) or blind? You (person who enjoys his mother's company)!

Me: The door is that way sir, please use it.

LWHHM: You (marvelous chap)! I'll have your job for this! I'm doing what I want, I'm (Bally well) looking at what I want, then I'm ( going hence) when I want!

Annoyingly, the shop was a bit busy, so did not have opportunity to get someone to help throw him out. Sad face.







Retail Hell Memories: Because I Was There


Jason 007

From u/bunnyfrog_1st Tales From Retail

I worked for Furniture Clearance Shop back in the day, and on one particular day we got one of our regulars in; harmless enough, reasonable balance of sense and money, because hey, she is coming to Furniture Clearance Shop every week for the last two months to presumably deck out her whole house on the cheap.


This day she choose to deal with Balding Colleague and has hubby in tow. Start perusing the ovens and kitchen gubbage, no problems. I'm doing a few other jobs, putting up displays and fielding other customers.

Balding Colleague goes to check something on computer for her. She decides he is taking too long and I am passing, so she asks me same (complicated) question. I politely enough say that I'm just fetching something from the back and Balding Colleague will sort her out soon enough.

I go into the back and start sorting boxes. She suddenly appears in the arch like some kind of pantomime villain rising from the stage in a cloud of smoke.

What did you say to me??

I'm just sorting out another order, we'll get back to you in a tick.

How dare you?? I've never been so insulted!


Do you know how much money I've spent in here?

Uh, I mean (I say while holding large and heavy box), if you just wait we would be happy to...

Of all the nerve!

She then storms right the way down the length of the shop, loudly exclaiming how she has never been treated like that, people are looking, hubby is turning red, the whole firework scene.

Balding Colleague looks over at me standing in the door to the back, box in hand, perplexed expression on face. Customer practically rams the (sliding) doors open in her attempt to leave quickly and 'never come back'.

tl:dr - Customer is asked for a tiny bit of patience, shouts the shop down.






Retail Hell Memories: A Dank Trade



From GhostBoo-ty, Tales From Retail:

I've finally decided to share my stories from The Furniture Department , and I'll start with a short one that is most fresh in my mind.

So for background I work furniture and often closing shift, which means our staff is limited to two cashiers (one register, one floor), myself, and the closing manager. More often than not the closing associates don't do anything but sit up there and/or love to take their breaks during the last hour of being open leaving me to backup since the manager is counting the tils in the cash office. We close at 9, for reference. I also ride a bus so I like leaving when I'm scheduled so I can get home at a decent hour.

With that out of the way, it was shaping up to be a normal night, nothing too spectacular even with the idiot squad up front. So I took this time to go clean and organize the break room, since nobody had done so in a year or more. I'm about done washing the microwave stand at 8:55 when I get a call on the talkie that I have a customer in furniture. Joy.

I quickly walk up to the furniture department so I can hurry this along and finish cleaning so I can clock out and head home and notice the dude over near the end of the mattress row, so I approach and give the ol associate spiel. M is me, and DM is Dank Man.

M: "Hello! My name is M, is there anything I can help you with today?

DM: "Yea man, I'm just moving and I need a mattress TODAY my man, and I really like this one, y'know? How much is it?"

M: "Well, its usually $Xhundred for the mattress and box, but right now its on sale for $hundred off! (A pretty decent deal, actually)"

DM: "Damn, that's nice, but can you go any lower? Any coupons or can you take anything off? "

M: "Unfortunately, no, but its already on sale for a damn decent price"

DM: "Hey man, you can't give me your employee discount on it? I need it today"

M: "Sorry I can't do that because I'll get in a lot of trouble for giving people my discount "

DM: "Nah its fine, man, I'll give you the cash to buy it yourself and I'll even throw in an ounce of good kush."

From there I was a little taken aback since that's my first customer who tried to barter with weed, but I insisted I would be in even more trouble if they found out, there was a repeat of these exchanges until he eventually backed down and left, but not before stopping at patio furniture and pointing out "man this is nice stuff, man" before finally leaving.

Sure man, I could have probably done that, and while you would have your mattress, I sure wouldn't have been able to sleep out of sheer paranoia